Well...the story itself, so-so, so far.  Nobody except Ukyou seems
grossly out of character, and the parasitic personality explains that
one.

The unidentified killer yanks this out of the usual mode; the obvious
question I hope you'll address next chapter is why he felt the need
to eliminate the policeman.  The fragment after the authors' notes
worries me though--I'm not keen on the "Akane is useless in any
situation involving realistic danger" cliche.

The authors' notes themselves need severe trimming; they're far too
long, pompous and self-indulgent.  Much less well-written than the
story.  One suggestion:  If you get a question that you feel has
been/will be answered in the story itself, please don't blow it off. 
Providing a reference point is much more helpful.  ("Your first
question will be dealt with in Chapter Six.  Your other question was
answered in the scene immediately after Usagi plucked Gosunkugi's
eyes out.")

For what it's worth,
SKJAM!


	
	
		
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