Ranma walked into the kitchen.

   "Hey Kasumi." he daid. "Ehat's for breakfast?"

- "Hey Kasumi," he said. "What's for breakfast?"

   "You are Ranma." said Akane as she grabbed him from behind.

- "You are, Ranma," said Akane (the comma is important, when I first read 
it, I thought you were having Akane tell Ranma that he is Ranma, not that 
he's breakfast.)

   "What's going on?" asked Ranma.

   "I'm gonna drain you now Ranma Saotome." she said.

- "I'm gonna drain you now, Ranma Saotome," she said.

   Akane looked at him and vamped out.

- Sort of a Buffy/Angel expression, but okay. It might be used other places 
too.

   "We're all vampires." she said.

- "We're all vampires," she said.

   Ranma looked around and everyone was a vampire.

- Maybe change this for something more dramatic, or exciting? This line just 
falls flat.

   Ranma woke up screaming in bed. He looked around. "Man, that is the 
last
time I watch vampire show's and eat Akane's cooking before Bed." he saif.

- vampire shows OR shows about vampires OR a vampire show marathon. Oh, and 
... cooking before bed," he said. (show's, with an apostrophe, is 
possessive. Shows, however, is plural. That's why vampire show's is wrong.)

- Not really much more to say, just wanted to help you with your typos, 
grammar and such. Cheers.

- Denise


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