Rann Aridorn wrote on 7/8/2004, 3:40 AM:

 >
 > Title: Family Drift
 > Author: Rann Aridorn
 > Comments: Idea I had while trying to sleep, and wouldn't go away. x.x
 > So, here it is, written up quickly to get it out of my head and done so
 > I could go back to bed.

    I know the feeling well.  Truly, the FFML should fear Writer's Insomnia...

 >     Lupin the 3rd strutted up to his longtime on-again, off-again
 > girlfriend, Fujiko, a large grin on his face. Flanking him were his
 > friends, Goemon and Jigen, both of them with somewhat less ecstatic
 > looks on their face.
 >     "So, must've gotten tired of that last old fart you were milking for
 > his money, eh, Fujicakes?" Lupin crowed, baring his teeth in a wide grin
 > and waggling his eyebrows, leaning in closer to his beloved.
 >     "More like he got tired of life," Fujiko answered blandly, putting
 > her
 > hand on Lupin's face as he attempted to come in for a kiss.
 >     "Killed another one with kindness, eh, Fujiko?" Jigen commented,
 > puffing on his cigarette.
 >     "..." Fujiko glanced off to the side, attempting to look innocent.
 > All
 > three men did a slight doubletake.
 >     "... Holy shit, you actually did one in with pleasure?" Jigen took
 > off
 > his fedora and rested it over his heart in mourning.

    ROTFL!

 >     "But man, what a way to go," Lupin murmured, almost dreamily.
 >     "Look, I've got a problem!" Fujiko snapped, glowering at all three.
 >     "The old fart didn't leave you anything?" Jigen snorted.
 >     "No, his will left me everything," the full-breasted seductress
 > muttered, though with little happiness.
 >     "He has children or grandchildren that are contesting the will,
 > perhaps?" Goemon piped up.

    My next guess was a "Raising Mary" scenario -- she ended up with 
custody of the geezer's young by-blow, or something.

 >     "No, not that either!" Fujiko grumbled.
 >     "Then what?" both of Lupin's companions chorused.
 >     "Yeah, what's the problem, Fujiko-baby?" Lupin queried, scratching
 > his
 > head.
 >     "... Well..." Fujiko looked down, tapping her index fingertips
 > together. "... Before he went off to his big death, he sort of... had
 > his little death."
    
    ....
    .......
    <!>
    <howling, screaming, falling down laughing>
    And while I know it's mean to say it, I will anyway:  Couldn't happen 
to a more deserving girl!

 >     "Oh." Lupin blinked, obviously not quite understanding how this was a
 > problem, other than that some dirty old coot had had the pleasures of
 > his object of desire's body. Then, slowly, the little Zinigata inside
 > his head began to chase the little Lupin, both of them turning the wheel
 > they were inside, setting the machinery in motion, and revving it up to
 > high speed.

    <boggle>  Oh, wow.  That mental image *alone* was worth the time 
reading this whole fic.

 > "GUHWHAAAA?!" Lupin flung both arms up and to one side, jaw
 > dropping, eyes going wide.
 >     "Am I to understand that you are with child, then?" Goemon asked,
 > narrowing his eyes as if contemplating the birthing of some supernatural
 > horror from the pits of Hell.

    Well, now, that's really not fair to Fujikins, unless there's something 
we don't know about the father.

 >     "Oh, Lupin, my love!" Fujiko opined, suddenly a damsel in
 > distress. "Oh
 > please, won't you save me from dishonor by marrying me?!" ... "Lupin?"
 > ... "Lupin, dammit!" Fujiko rose to her feet, stomping one delicate
 > heel, as the famous catburglar refused to move from his pose of shock.

    This is so in-character it's downright scary.

 >     "I believe what Lupin means to say is that the marriage will have
 > conditions," Goemon inserted, folding his arms over his chest.
 >     "Yeah, like when your next kid comes out, there's a paternity test
 > right off, and if THAT one ain't Lupin's, he gets everything," Jigen
 > continued for his friend, lighting a new cigarette and tossing the old
 > one away.

    Lemme guess:  *They're* going to do all the negotiating, while Lupin 
goes for the Guiness Human Statue time-endurance record.

 >     "Oh, fine," grumbled Fujiko. "Let's go inside and we'll hammer out a
 > prenup." She turned and walked through the large glass doors that
 > flanked the deck they stood on, the gunman and the samurai following
 > along in a nice, orderly file.
 >     Behind them, Lupin remained as still as a statue, not so much as
 > twitching as a cold wind gusted across him.

    Called it.  Man, it's good to have friends.  Especially friends who are 
real sharpies, and have one's best interests at heart.
    Okay, maybe only out of enlightened self-interest, but hey, you take 
what you can get in this world, right?

 > -------
 >
 >     Lupin the 4th sighed as he contemplated the many difficulties he
 > faced
 > in life. For one thing, his name. He intended to take his girlfriend's
 > last name when he married, but he really had to pick a more sensible
 > first name than "Lupin". Luckily, his parents had always encouraged him
 > to take aliases, so he could just use one of those. Not really a problem
 > there.
 >     Then, there was his brother... well, half brother, really. Lupin was
 > fully aware of the story of his elder brother's conception, and just
 > couldn't shake the suspicion that the old man his mother had loved to
 > death had been too aged to contribute a full set of chromosomes. His
 > brother simply wasn't very bright, and would make a mess of best man
 > duties. He'd probably be better off picking one of his father's friends,
 > even if they were criminals. Goemon would at least bring dignity to the
 > role.

    Yeah, but have you ever tried to hid a zatoichi in a tux?

 >     He was also struggling to get his first book published. He had a
 > wealth
 > of crime stories and tales of intrigue, gathered from at least four
 > sources of varying reliability. A bit from one, a bit from another, and
 > they made quite excellent mysteries, in bits and pieces if not in whole.
 >     Still, he was quite sure it would all work out. But for now, he had a
 > challenge in his more immediate future. Taking a deep breath, he slid
 > open the door and stepped inside, moving to kneel across the table from
 > an older man.
 >     "Kudou-san, I'm here to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage..."

    There's probably supposed to be an "AHA!" moment here, but I'm missing 
it.  The name "Kudou" doesn't ring any bells for me, unfortunately.

 > -------
 >
 >     "C'mon, kiddo... listen up, and I'll tell you about the time that I
 > broke into Interpol itself and-"
 >     Shinichi Kudou sighed, shaking his head and looking up at the
 > grey-haired old fellow in whose lap he sat. "Grampa Lupin, do I HAVE to
 > listen to any more of your stories? I always figure out how you did it
 > before you tell me..."

    Like I said, I'm probably missing the reference.  And I note that you 
forgot to add the disclaimer.  Bad writer!  No donut!
    
    In summation, the prose could use a bit of polishing here and there, 
but the imagery and characterization are very nice.  The biggest glaring 
lack is any disclaimer and mention of the source fics in the footer 
(since putting details in the header woul give away the surprise, no doubt)



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