----- Original Message ----- 
From: <thermopyle@tds.net>
To: <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Monday, June 28, 2004 11:17 PM
Subject: [FFML] Re: that hp/ranma thing

Okay...I'm going to reply to the story and to a few different email

comments here, so I'll just start from the bottom of the thread.

To start with, directly from the fic:

"Akane held a hand out with a pair of 5000 yen notes, frowning as she

reached for the tape."

I don't think it's likely that Akane would be carrying a hundred dollars

(greatly rounded) on her.  MAYBE she'd have it stored in her room somewhere,
but she wouldn't have it on her, especially when she wouldn't be carrying a
purse at the time.

IMO about $90 US is not an extraordinary amount to be carried by a high
school student nowadays.. Plus, given that the likelihood that Nabiki could
charge her for important information at any time, Akane could be in the
habit of carrying a few thousand yen to pay her off.
PS: Ever here of pockets or a pocket size change purse? Since Akane
routinely does not carry a purse, yet does charge at least some money with
her to school and such, I'd say that she has. (Again, IMO)

"But what really bugged her was that this was hitting her harder than she

expected. It's not like she really cared for Ranma, was it? Oh, who did she
think she was fooling? Of course she did, Nabiki realized. She had cared for
Ranma for quite a while, even if she wouldn't admit it to herself. After
all, who was it that pulled her family's fat out of the fire, time and time
again? Sure, sometimes it was his fault for actually putting it in the fire
to begin with, but she knew several times where he'd saved them from their
own stupidity."

This segment doesn't work very well.  It would be far more believable for

Nabiki to have already realized her love for Ranma.  Trying to make out like
she's just noticing it now calls more attention to the transition from cold
bitch to Ranma-loving-junkie, which this fic does NOT need.  Changing the
story so that Nabiki was just hiding her affections would help quite a bit,
because it's easier to get the reader to go along with a constant
characterization that is present from the beginning of the story than try to
carry out a transformation that the reader will be forced to wade through.
Justifications for why Nabiki is in love with Ranma just weaken and slow the
story down; there is no gain to be made from such an approach in this story
where shifting characterizations will not get the extreme amount of focus
that will be required for a successful change.


That segment did not read that way to me. IT did not seem that Nabiki was
just now realizing that she cared for Ranma, but that she realized it a
while ago an was still trying to deny it and soothe her guilty concious for
the way she treated him. It even says in the prose "...She had cared for
Ranma for quite a while, even if she wouldn't admit it to herself...."
Justifying why Nabiki might have fallen in love with Ranma gives readers a
plausible reason for Nabiki to start changing her behavior.

"Tofu shook her head. "You were young. It was a simple enough mistake."

"I shouldn't have been doing that anyway. I am glad you're finally over

it, though," Kasumi said, ashamed."

I have to admit I was pleasently surprised by this.  A nice addition.  The

later revealing of this to Nabiki was going too far, though.


Why, is it sometning dishonorable?  The story makes it clear that Soun was a
muggle.  Given Soun's reaction to Nabiki's school letter, it is apparent his
attitude about magi was simular to Harry's uncles, even though he married a
witch.   Since the Tendo family was living as muggles, there would be no
reason to tell the daughters about Golden Sora or being Magi until they were
11. Of corse after Mrs. Tendo died, Soun refused to let Kasumi continue
schooling a probably told her NOT to tell her sisters anything about magic.

"Here we go, Nabiki thought to herself. "Well, he can't be a man,

considering he's only 10 right now, can he?"

Nodoka replied, "Eleven. His birthday was a week and a half ago.""

...I really don't understand this.  How would Nodoka know how old Ranma

is?  Ranma supposedly ate the 10cm mushroom.  That makes him ten years old,
unless he ate the mushroom before his birthday, which I doubt; the story arc
was too short and didn't cover the difficulties that would be present by
such a prolonged period.  Besides, unless the mushroom were 10cm and some
portion of another, it would take a full year from when he ate the mushroom
for him to age to being eleven.  So...this seems like nonsense.


Do you expect Ranma to change his birthday to the date he ate the mushrooms?
I think what the author is getting at is if Ranma was turn into a ten year
old before his birthday, then of course he would have turned 11 when
reaching it. It does not mean he aged a year, at most it would make him
slightly underdeveloped 11 year old.
However, it does seem that the author could have been a little more clear
about why Nodoka thought Ranma was now 11.

Regarding the issue of whether the magical school would have hunted down

Ranma or either Tendou girl, here is the phrasing of Hogwarts' letter, which
seems automatic/standard:

"We await your owl by no later than 31 July."

I read this as "We await your acceptance or lack thereof," with probably a

spell put on the letter to ensure that it is not destroyed.  If the letter
IS destroyed, more are sent, and if no reply is recieved, a teacher is sent.
This is supported by Hagrid's statement of "I knew you weren't getting your
letters" when explaining things to Harry during the first book.  You can
agree or disagree with how I read the way the book give the situation,
that's just my input.  However, it should be noted that this is for
Hogwarts, not Golden Sora, and that none of the characters recieved a letter
from Hogwarts, so it is pointless to consider whether or not the matter
being dropped after only one letter is canon; such a question does not apply
here.


I agree with this. Moreover, it can be said the only reason Harry Potter
received so many letters was because of who he was and Dumbledore's
insistence that he be trained as a Wizard, not that destroying any Howart's
Letter (or Golden Sora) would cause you to recieve 3 more.

"Dear Mrs. and Ms. Saotome,"

This is questionable; Ranma was turned into a girl only shortly before the

letter arrived, and his name was gotten from the list of students, which had
recorded Ranma's birth, so it should be accurate.  The letter would more
likely be addressed to Mr. Saotome, not Ms.  It can probably be dismissed as
"magic," but if that's the case, I would expect that such sensitive magic
would recognize a curse and act appropriately...which in this case would be
to remain as Mr..  Also, the deliberate mentioning of Mrs. Saotome implies
that the situation with Genma is known by the person who sent the letter,
which also implies more knowledge of Ranma's sitiuation, which causes the
question of why Ranma was left in that situation of he were being monitored
that closely.  Combined with the prologue, which was very harsh to Genma,
that Ranma would be knowlingly left to such "torture" is hard to believe.


Why? Look at Harry, he was left to live in a broom closet and be a virtual
slave to his aunt and uncle for 11 years.  Just because the magic world
might be able to find out these things does not necessarily gives them the
right to interfere with how Genma raises his son.

As for the "Ms. Saotome" don't you think that if a letter can know exactly
were you are (such as living in a closet or in your mother's living room.)
that it also might know about the curse and what sex Ranma would be when she
received it.

""I'm going to try to find those mushrooms, Ranma."

The child shook her head. "No, you can't do that. You don't want to be a

kid again just for me.""

This is also questionable.  If Nabiki finds the mushrooms, what is to keep

Ranma from simply using them to return to his normal age?  This isn't
supported at all in the fic.  The question isn't even raised by any of the
characters involved here, and it's not one that could be missed; it would
come up, and it would need to be addressed.


Nodoka just begged and insisted that Ranma goes to the "Golden Sora" school,
that would entail him remaining 11. Given Ranma's honor and that he was
willing to kill himself if he does not live up to her expectations, this
would preclude any attempt by Ranma to turn back if Nabiki did find the
mushrooms.

SNIP<<

"Ranma's eyes widened, then he chuckled. "Of course. I should have

figured. It's sort of obvious looking at it now. Knowing so much about magic
and stuff.""

This was lame.  Sorry, but it was REALLY lame.

It is almost (fanfiction) cannon that Cologne is a magic user, the only lame
thing aout it was that Cologne had been a teacher at Hogwarts. Too
coincidental.

""I'm not going to live too much longer. I don't mean I'm going to die in

a day or two, but I mean that I've lived a long time and doubt I'll live too
much longer."

Repetitive.  Rephrase.

As for the whole Grandmaster Ranma bit...again, sorry, but that's really

lame.  There is no reason or justification for such an addition to the
story.  It just feels like an unneeded powerup.  It should be cut
completely, because it doesn't belong in a fic like this.

Whit's lame about Ranma wanting to be a Grandmaster, he's only been working
towards that goal for the past 10 years or more. He (and his father) wants
to be the best, and that would mean becoming the grandmaster of "Anything
Goes."   The only lame thing would be if Ranma meekly gave up his marital
arts ambitions and training to become a wizard. This nicely removes the most
important reason Ranma would not want to go to Hogwarts, giving up his dream
of being a great marital artist. Now he can do both and fulfill the wishes
of both his parents.

SNIPPED THE REST<<

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