As always, thanks for taking the time to comment!

Quoting DB Sommer <sommer@3rdm.net>:

hkmiller wrote:

Kirika was still looking into the back seat with a
fond smile.  "What are you looking at?" Mireille
asked curiously.

"Nothing important," Kirika answered wistfully.

Wistful? My, she did develop some emotions by the
end, didn't she?

Yes, Kirika expresses a number of emotions in the
second half of the series, including wistfulness.

Kirika looked down at the papers she'd been holding
in her hands.  "Nothing much.  Apparently I rarely
came to Europe in recent years.  I was in
Marseilles for a short time two years ago, but it
doesn't say what I did there."

"Probably nothing terribly important."

Which means it was something important

:) Of course!

  The icy-eyed

icy-eyed does not roll off the tongue. I'd rephrase
the sentence somehow.

Will look at.

they were made to be appreciated, by connoisseurs
such as himself.  He'd treat the blonde as
formidable, but there could not be two like the
oriental in the whole world.

Like I said, stupid. :)

Heh.

I'd dump this dialogue break. It's not needed and
breaks up the flow of the conversation

Hmm... will take under advisement.

close to her, she could see that the man was still
watching her

odd line break here

I think it was just a posting artifact, possibly
sloppiness my part in line-wrapping (not being able to
resist a last tweak or two after the last linewrap).

"Lift the bar."

"I can't lift that," Mireille bluffed.  "Not
without help."

Gafori: If you don't lift it, I'll shoot you in the
kneecap.

Mireille: That helped. (Lifts the bar)

Heh.

Charlotte's eyes shifted away as she replied, "I'm
just a medieval historian, I'm afraid."

Sureeee, she is.

;) Gee, what gave it away?

Charlotte lifted her head abruptly.  "WHAT!?  Was
it 'les mains noires protegent la paix des nouveaux-
nes'?"

Oh, so she knows the saying too, eh?

By some amazing coincidence, yes.  :)

"The view is missing something," Gafori commented
as he set to work.  "A dynamic element.  Ah, I have
it.  You two ladies will have to get busy
yourselves, or I shall hack off one of the
children's legs as soon as I'm through and let her
bleed.  Protrude those talented tongues of yours
and start licking."

My, he is a nasty fellow.

Heh.  Well, given the portrayal of a man pursuing his
basest appetites, with nothing holding him back, this
little fillip seemed unavoidable.

raised, fingers beckoning.  "Any questions?"

Kirika: It's sound training. I was planning on doing
it myself if I could talk Mirelle into keeping them.

Heh.  Well, clearly it IS good training, but of a kind
to which neither Mireille nor Kirika (at this point)
would willingly subject the girls.  (One of my own
influences here is Ken Wolfe's "The Day After", in
which M & K contemplate, briefly, being asked to train
their own successors the way K was trained.  They
both recoil in horror.  I agree with his interpretation
of their characters on this point, but went on to ask
myself:  what if it's not left up to them?  What if
they have no choice, due to circumstance?)

Kirika: I do?

Mireille: Like I said, you don't know.

Heh.  Actually, by the end of the series she's all too
aware.

Aditi's eyes widened in understanding and she began
undressing.  Once done, Aditi lay down on top of
Mireille.

And became turned on.

Should have probably mentioned Lime as well as Dark

Maybe, but I personally think a 'Lime' tag suggests a
lighter tone than this, at least in parts.  I thought a
[Lime][DARK!] combo would have suggested a work with 
segregated sections, one which readers could skim for
the lime if they wanted.

Mireille laughed.  "I think we can manage that."

Very nice and very cold. Excellent work. You
accomplished a lot with no wasted effort or
sentiments. Good job.

Thank you very much!
 

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