Gary Kleppe <gary@garykleppe.org> writes:
A lot of corrections gratefully accepted without note.
"Elisteran N/A" <elisteran@hotmail.com> wrote:
The storm blew angry winds across the frigid sea, producing large dips
and swells, sliding ships across the sea's surface like bugs clinging
to a table cloth being yanked off a table. Those ships that were able
were making their way to port, or heading further out to sea... the
authorities were warning that this was going to be one of the worst
storms in years.
HIROSHI & DAISUKE: o/~ The weath-er start-ed getting rough... o/~
Hmm. Yet more crossovers that absolutely must be, someday. It's scary
to think of Kuno as Mr. Howell, though...
But when he made his way back to his sleeping son, Genma found that
the meal might have to wait. The only sign of the sleeping body were
some bent grasses, and the occasional footprint on the forest
floor. "I'll save you, Ranma -- nobody's taking you from me that
easily!"
Of course, he didn't see the abductor anywhere close, and if a fight
lay ahead, it was important that he prepare for it. So it was with a
heavy heart that he forced himself to go back to the beach and prepare
a fire to cook the shark.
I like the balanced treatment of Genma in this.
Thanks. Not a villain, but not really a Prometheus, either...
"Oh, Tofu, you're silly. I just came to tell you that dinner is
ready. And,... be sure to wear something *extra* nice for our date."
The salacious wink that accompanied this wasn't visible behind the
door, but was very audible.
So Betty has eyelids now? :)
She sure sounds like she does.
I'd have liked to get a better idea of what we can expect from the
transformed Ranma. We know he's got gray skin, but if we had a hint as
to how he's going to behave differently from now on it'd give a better
idea of what to expect.
That's true. I fall into a trap of too often having my ostensible main
character be a passive dummy (drugged unconscious, a mute pig, dead,
ya know, the usual). I'll try to work on that.
Other than that, it's pretty good for a teaser -- hopefully there'll be
more to come.
Hopefully there will be, but probably not for a while. Want to finish
up some other stuff first.
Thanks for your comments; the help is much appreciated.