hkmiller wrote:

"BOR-ING!" Aditi declared.  "We need a real case."  The Indian
girl, sitting next to Tati, promptly moved on to the next story.
"What does 'un tueur en serie possible' mean?"

"'A possible serial killer'", Kirika replied.

"MUCH better!" Aditi pronounced.

Not unless one of the families of the victims has offered a reward.

Kirika was still looking into the back seat with a fond smile.
"What are you looking at?" Mireille asked curiously.

"Nothing important," Kirika answered wistfully.

Wistful? My, she did develop some emotions by the end, didn't she?

Kirika looked down at the papers she'd been holding in her hands.
"Nothing much.  Apparently I rarely came to Europe in recent
years.  I was in Marseilles for a short time two years ago, but
it doesn't say what I did there."

"Probably nothing terribly important."

Which means it was something important

  The icy-eyed

icy-eyed does not roll off the tongue. I'd rephrase the sentence somehow.

Armand left the store with his purchases, turned and walked
around the corner, suppressing a shiver.  The girl was death on
wheels, that was clear; on the other hand, what a prize for his
collection!  This might well call for breaking his rule about not
hunting on his home turf.

Ah well, at least he's crazy, which is why he'll do something stupid despite
knowing how dangerous she is.

The lambs he dismissed as any threat, but he hesitated over the
blonde.  Treat her as formidable, for a woman, of course; but what
if she were the oriental girl's equal?  Gafori shivered
involuntarily, then smiled and relaxed.  No, women weren't
fighters;

Ah, he was shot through the lung by one.

 they were made to be appreciated, by connoisseurs such

as himself.  He'd treat the blonde as formidable, but there could
not be two like the oriental in the whole world.

Like I said, stupid. :)

- - - - - - - - - -
Inside the shop, Mireille began picking out clothes for Kirika
to try on, one outfit after another.  It was not a large shop,
occupying just a front and back room on a single floor, and only
the smiling proprietress was present at this time of day.  It was
sparsely decorated, just white walls, mirrors, and mannequins.

"I thought we wanted to be quick," Kirika noted in an even tone,
fingering the cloth on the first outfit, a light blue sun dress.

"But this is such as darling outfit!  I have to see how it looks
on you!" Mireille gushed, a fond smile on her face.  "And I did
say that you need more clothes," Mireille reminded Kirika.

I'd dump this dialogue break. It's not needed and breaks up the flow of the
conversation

Mireille heard the back door of the Citroen open behind her as the
man herded Aditi out of the car.  Glancing into a shiny surface

close to her, she could see that the man was still watching her

odd line break here

Unfortunately, Aditi did nothing.  Staying carefully back, the man
ordered Mireille to descend ahead of them into the cellar.

The bottom of the cellar stairs opened into a large central room
taking up most of the basement, well lit by an overhead
fluorescent lamp.  A butcher-block table sat near a large freezer

towards the back, with a cleaver and knives sitting on a large

cutting board.  A few brown stains smudged a large pewter platter

more odd line breaks. Perhaps something happened when you posted.

"Lift the bar."

"I can't lift that," Mireille bluffed.  "Not without help."

Gafori: If you don't lift it, I'll shoot you in the kneecap.

Mireille: That helped. (Lifts the bar)

only a few blocks from where he grabbed us."

"Did you say Charlotte Merril?" Mireille asked curiously.
"There's a woman in Paris by that name I've heard of.  Some sort
of police consultant."

Charlotte's eyes shifted away as she replied, "I'm just a medieval
historian, I'm afraid."

Sureeee, she is.

"A pity," Gafori said regretfully.  "We had such a nice business
going, too:  the importation and distribution of certain
substances which, although frowned upon by society's earnest
guardians, never seem to lack demand."

Bootleg anime dvds. What an animal he is. :)

"Not to me, and I haven't seen any.  Charlotte's been here for
days, and she hasn't seen anybody else.  I don't think he can
afford to have any, based on what he seems to be up to."

She should know since he's a serial killer.

Aditi scrunched up her face in thought.  "What was it they said?
Something about black hands and 'the peace of the newly born'..."

Charlotte lifted her head abruptly.  "WHAT!?  Was it 'les mains
noires protegent la paix des nouveaux-nes'?"

Oh, so she knows the saying too, eh?

"The view is missing something," Gafori commented as he set to
work.  "A dynamic element.  Ah, I have it.  You two ladies will
have to get busy yourselves, or I shall hack off one of the
children's legs as soon as I'm through and let her bleed.
Protrude those talented tongues of yours and start licking."

My, he is a nasty fellow.

"At the successful conclusion of the above, we shall all three
return here triumphant."  Gafori smiled winningly, both hands
raised, fingers beckoning.  "Any questions?"

Kirika: It's sound training. I was planning on doing it myself if I could
talk Mirelle into keeping them.

"I was a few years older than the two of you when I first killed
someone in cold blood.  His face still haunts me, sometimes."
Mireille took a deep breath.  "Kirika was younger than you are,
by several years.  I may be haunted, but Kirika carries wounds in
her soul that she will never know the full extent of,

Kirika: I do?

Mireille: Like I said, you don't know.

Aditi's eyes widened in understanding and she began undressing.
Once done, Aditi lay down on top of Mireille.

And became turned on.

Should have probably mentioned Lime as well as Dark

A quick shoulder-roll to her feet, then she was back again,
stabbing and then weaving through his follow-up.  She left her
left-hand stick implanted in his abdomen, flipping the other stick
from her right to her left hand.  Ducking, she grabbed the dropped
cleaver with her right.

that will end it.

Mireille laughed.  "I think we can manage that."

Very nice and very cold. Excellent work. You accomplished a lot with no
wasted effort or sentiments. Good job.

DB Sommer

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