I'll skip commenting on stuff I've noticed others commenting on.
DB Sommer wrote:
"Yay! I still can't believe we get to take a field trip to Yasuroka Island!"
Chiyo was practically hopping up and down on her seat in anticipation.
In the manga, Chiyo's been everywhere and done everything that the older
girls haven't,
a fact that might have had implications for this premise...
Osaka scratched her head curiously. "Aren't teachers supposed to wear gas
masks on field trips?"
Heh. On second reading, this is our first clue to the ending, not just
Osaka being Osaka.
identical gunmetal gray collars around their necks. They items were clasped
at the back with a complex electronic locking mechanism.
Chiyo: "Oh, the old CZ-9500 Electrolock. I didn't know they still made
those;
I thought they took them out of production because they tended to open
unexpectedly
when subject to sudden impacts."
"What are we doing here?" Yomi asked, mirroring the confusion everyone but
Tomo and Osaka (who took everything in stride, as usual) were demonstrating.
Indeed, to Osaka the whole scene had a haunting familiarity...
[Nameless Male Student #21: Dead]
The numbering confused me a bit, presumably since I haven't seen Battle
Royale
in any version. It seemed to me that there must be approximately 37 * 2
= 74 students
present at first, 37 males and 37 females, but I think you mean that
there are only 37.
Might suggest instead
[Student #21, nameless male: Dead]
slightly before putting them back on her face. They gleamed maniacally as
she stared directly at Tomo.
BTW, agree that you did make Yomi quite creepy.
on her bottom. She rested on her sore posterior for a few moments, rubbing
it gingerly.
Not sure how she can be rubbing it if she's resting on it.
It was a lucky thing for her her father had insisted she learn
how to shoot a gun for self-defense. Chiyo had always thought he was being
paranoid, but obeyed. It turned out she was a natural shot, though she had
never fired anything more powerful than a .22.
Chiyo'd always wondered about these things, so unusual for most Japanese
girls,
and if they had anything to do with these 'Soldats' her parents reported
to at night
when they thought she was asleep. But probably not, since the one
conversation
she'd managed to overhear completely had been limited to someone named
'Altena' advising her parents on tree horticulture. Though it was funny
that the
sapling was to be sent to America for 'additional light and air', just
about the time
Chiyo would graduate from high school...
Sakaki looked around her, taciturn and calm as always despite being
surrounded by a half-dozen of her classmates. They were an even mix: three
boys and three girls. The bore a host of deadly weapons, from basic things,
like knives and sickles, to more modern weapons, like a pistol and even a
sub-machinegun. Sakaki was left to defend herself with the very item she had
mentioned on the test.
Perhaps a stuffed cat wasn't the best thing to kill a fellow student after
all.
On the other hand...
Sakaki leapt at the boy holding the submachine gun. With her left hand
she jerked its barrel over to point at the girl with the pistol just as he
reflexively fired it, as her right hand shoved the stuffed cat down his open
throat far enough to block his nasal passages as well. Leaving the cat
there,
and ignoring his frantic clawings for air, she wrested the submachine gun
from his grasp and turned her attention to the remaining four students, who
proved to be much less challenging.
"Yeah, she's tough enough to kill anyone else with her bare hands," one of
the girls said.
The last of the girls, one whom Sakaki often saw petting cats, and who
boasted in class about the four her parents let her keep at home, Sakaki
saved for special attention. Dropping her gun, Sakaki raised her hands
and advanced upon the frightened girl...
"Good-bye," Chiyo said, and pulled the trigger.
The gun simply clicked.
Chiyo stared at her weapon, horrified. A misfire. She took aim again and
pulled the trigger once more.
Another hollow click.
"Ah! I know I only fired four rounds!" Chiyo popped open the cylinder and
looked at the chambers.
Two of them were empty.
Then Chiyo realized: her gun was perceptibly lighter now that it had been
before Osaka had appeared before her. Lighter by the weight of two
bullets, in fact. Unfortunately, she had no time to puzzle out what
this might mean...
Using all of her might, she brought it down hard right on
top of Chiyo's skull. Osaka reexamined the item that had been
in her backpack. "Darn. I guess a paper fan
makes quite a mess when backed by the Power." As Osaka spoke,
Chiyo-chan's lifeless body fell, her skull caved in as if hit by a wrecking
ball.
Abruptly Osaka's cousins Manami and Kurumi appeared out of thin air.
"Ayumu! What are you doing? You can't hit people with the folded fan!"
Manami exclaimed. "You have to slice it across their throats! That way
nobody will be able to tell that it wouldn't normally work without the
Power!"
"And why are you still wearing that collar? You should have vanished that
first!" Kurumi suited action to words, and Osaka's collar disappeared.
Osaka sheepishly scratched the back of her head. "Oh, sorry, guys. I'm
guess I'm just too distracted again. It's the ghosts in this place."
"TRY to stay focused, Ayumu, please," urged Manami. "We know your
extraordinary sensitivity to the worlds beyond is constantly bombarding
you with confusing sensory input. But you have to try! Even an Esper
can be
killed in a Battle Royale if you aren't paying attention!"
"I'll try," Osaka agreed. "I'll get it together. I will! I promise!"
Dubiously, the Kasuga sisters pursed their lips and nodded, then vanished
again.
Osaka continued onward, repeating "Get it together! Get it together!" for a
few more steps, before the sight of Chiyo-chan's ghost rising from the dead
body distracted her again.
"There's one thing you're forgetting: setting off a device like that is
suicidal. Now who would be stupid enough to do that?"
Enough people have commented on the "stupid" part. I haven't seen
anyone comment
on the juxtaposition of "suicidal" and "high school" yet. There are a
few comments I
could make on that topic...
of it. "That's a bomb of some kind. A radioactive one. If you set that off,
it'll kill everyone on the island."
A radioactive symbol might only mean that it's a dirty bomb, a
conventional explosive
with radioactive debris.
"If my good friend Koyomi Mizuhara wants be dead, then I have nothing to
Haven't seen anyone comment on that misspelling: "me", not "be".
And thus the fic ends. Hope you enjoyed it, in a macabre sort of way.
Yes, I did. Thanks for writing and sharing.
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