Suggested changes: {before : after}
On 06/20/2004 05:44 AM, R E said:
After an unexpected delay, here's the first draft of chapter 21 of
Ten. If anyone was waiting for this, I apologise - various life
issues had to be dealt with. I feel I've fallen off a lot, given the
lengthy break in my writing, so I welcome any comments regarding this
chapter. It feels rough to me, so go nuts.
I thought I was already there.
"Akane," he whispered, suddenly remembering just where he was, and
what was happening. Awareness of his surroundings hit him, a blast
of cold water, and his body jolted as if awakening from a haunted
dream. The white light now shone brightly upon him, but even as he
{reveled : revelled} in its warmth he could feel the icy demon rising
nearby. The demon began to move and panic seized his heart, for he
perceived the terrors lurking behind that red eye.
"The world is not as you think, Akane. Your 'protector' does not
protect you, and your 'hunters' do not hunt you. There have been
more than a few opportunities for the Hidari to kill you. Didn't you
ever wonder why they didn't?" Ryukyu asked. "The Hidari have never
tried to kill you. They want to take you from me, from Ranma,
because they fear what will happen to them when you kill me."
Another layer of the onion.
"With the others before her, I spared Ranma the ... details. But
your mother was different. You must understand, I did not force
Ranma to watch out of cruelty or malice. It was not the blood I
wanted her to see. I wanted her to see your mother's Exodus. I
wanted her to see that no matter how tortured the soul, at the end
there could be peace.
I guess Soun didn't realize that. He might not have been able to
protect Akane himself, but he might have tried harder.