AUTHOR'S FOREWORD: This is the second draft of this fic, which follows
"Finding", also now re-posted to the list. "Finding" can also be found
at fanfiction.net using this link:
http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1691663
This fic will in its turn be followed by a third piece called "Someday,
Maybe", to be posted on the FFML soon (most probably within the next
few days).
I have done some re-writing, but most of the changes are additions.
Several more letters have been added.
DISCLAIMER: The characters and situations of Ranma 1/2 were created and
are woned by the splendid cartoonist Rumiko Takahashi. They are used
here without permission. This fic may not be used for profit in any
way.
PROLOGUE
You've got to be kidding. First of all, they'll never agree to show
them to you.
Second, just asking will only stir up a lot of bad old feelings again.
We don't need that. Things are finally a little calmer around here, but
that hasn't been easy to manage, believe me.
And anyway, what's the point? People don't put the really important
stuff they go through in letters. What they really do and say and feel
doesn't wind up on paper. I thought everyone knew that.
-Ranma
PS: But if you go through with this anyway, I want first dibs on
reading them. I've earned it.
THE P-CHAN LETTERS
By Elin B
September 21, 1995
Dear Akane,
I suppose I am a coward. The other day I went to your house to talk to
you, but you were not at home yet. I sat and waited for a little while,
but then changed my mind and left.
I decided to go home instead, where I am now, writing this.
I think if I had stayed and tried to talk to you, we would probably
have been interrupted by somebody or something, and then I would have
lost my nerve. Or we would *not* have been interrupted and I would
still have lost my nerve. It's hard enough writing this down. I think
if I were face to face with you I would not be able to stop thinking
about how you'd never smile at me or look at me in a friendly way
again. And then I would back out, and you would let me. I am *such* a
coward.
I'm planning to stay at my house for a week at least. (I have
supplies, and my dog will help me mail this letter.) If you want
restitution, this is where to look first. I will do anything you ask.
But you do deserve to know. And I can't get rid of the nightmares. And
now I've told Akari, so I have to tell you.
There isn't a good way to say this, so I'll just say it: That little
pig you carry around sometimes isn't a real pig. It's just a Jusenkyo
curse. As a matter of fact, it's me.
I was also in love with you for a very long time. That's no excuse
for anything, but it's the other thing that has been going on that you
didn't know about. So you deserve to know about that too.
Believe it or not, but I really am sorry. I suppose you would have been
better off if you'd never met me.
Ryoga Hibiki
September 26, 1995
'Restitution'?
I don't want money, if that's what you mean. In fact, I'm thinking of
sending back all those things you've given me.
I don't know what you think would be restitution. It's not like I could
do the same thing to you.
Akane Tendo
September 27, 1995
Dear Akane,
By 'restitution' I mean whatever you may think is right for me to make
amends. I don't think I can put any conditions on it.
That is not for me to do.
Ryoga Hibiki
October 1, 1995
I see. I will think about it.
In the meanwhile, I'm sending back some of the gifts you've given me.
Not all: some I've thrown away or will give to charity. Some I have
decided to keep. Teach me to be less stupid.
It may interest you to learn that my fiance has spoken up a lot on your
behalf, by the way.
Akane Tendo
October 7, 1995
Dear Ryoga,
When we happened to meet the other day you asked me to do what I could
for you, if I would. I can now report that I have spoken up in your
defense to Akane on no less than three separate occasions. Included in
this envelope is a tape recording two of these occasions, for proof.
My fee for this service is 2300 yen, in which the cost for the tape and
its postage are included. If you value your future connections with our
family, I expect you to pay fully and promptly.
Should you wish for a continuation of my services on your behalf in
this household, please see the included slip of the going rates for
this kind of public relations services. I have extended it to other
parts of the household: Kasumi, my father, and Mrs Saotome (who
practically lives here, by now). Oh, and me, of course. (I can be
pretty hard to convince at times.)
Cordially yours,
Nabiki Tendo
October 8, 1995
Ryoga,
I am writing to you as Mrs Saotome, Ranma's mother, has asked me to
convey her wish to meet and talk to you, either at the Saotome house or
at your place. If you wish to comply with this, you can write her at
the address I give below.
Mrs Saotome - I don't believe you have met her previously - is a very
pleasant, sweet and kind-hearted person, and we are all quite fond of
her. But she is also a woman of firm character with strong beliefs and
a rather traditional outlook. Perhaps you should keep in mind that she
does not necessarily speak for my little sister.
Sincerely,
Kasumi Tendo
[Letter from Ryoga to Nabiki could not be obtained. The compiler was
out of credit at the time, -Ed.]
October 20, 1995
Dear Impostor,
Suit yourself. If I don't get anything out of a different position on
the matter, I suppose I'll have no option but to keep holding you a
grudge for the way you've treated my little sister and deceived most of
us (except for certain rats who were in on the thing). Snakes reared in
the family bosom is the phrase that springs to mind.
Nevertheless, I appreciate that you paid the previous bill so quickly,
even though you didn't keep the tape. Let me know if you change your
mind regarding business in the future (but do keep in mind that my
prices are adjusted to the inflation rate).
Nabiki Tendo
October 11, 1995
Dear Akane,
I fear you will think I'm putting my nose into what isn't my business,
but I just wanted to ask of you not to be too hard on Ryoga dearest. He
values your opinion of him very highly, you know.
Yours sincerely,
Akari Unryu
October 15, 1995
Dear Akari,
That is really between me and him. But since you ask - well, I have the
choice of either being hard on him or not being anything at all, that
is to say, pretending he does not exist. What would you prefer?
Yours respectfully,
Akane
PS: I know this isn't very politely put, but this is how I feel. Does
he know you wrote me?
October 18, 1995
Dear Akane,
No, I haven't told Ryoga that I wrote to you.
I'm sorry - Well, I'm not sorry for speaking up for him, but I'm sorry
that I don't quite understand and wish I did. But I suppose I might
well feel like you do, if I were in your shoes. Especially if it
concerned another boy I wasn't in love with.
By the way, I understand that you and Ranma will also turn eighteen
this year. May I ask if you're planning to get married?
Best wishes,
Akari Unryu
October 22, 1995
Dear Akari,
I'm glad you don't seem too upset for the way I wrote earlier. I hope
that you and I can still be friends, but I would strongly prefer it if
you could refrain from discussing your boyfriend.
About Ranma and me - we'll see. There are other people to consider.
Also, I'm not sure that Ranma would really like teaching at a dojo for
a living. Maybe I could do the teaching, but in that case I want to get
better first.
Yours truly,
Akane
October 22, 1995
Dearest Akari,
I'm sorry I just left so quickly last night. I guess I just couldn't
find the right words to express what I felt, even though the matter is
important to me.
But I do need you to understand that I really do want to get rid of my
curse. Even if pigs are as wonderful as you think, they're still just
animals. And it makes me feel as if I'm less than fully human, being
cursed to turn into one. That I'm less than other people.
But anyway, I've decided not to go looking for a cure until I've got
things squared with Akane. It just feels better that way. (Besides, I
would probably be away from you for a very long time.)
It feels so strange to me that I can actually write about things like
this to someone! I've never really had *meaningful* letters from anyone
before... [remainder of letter snipped]
The best wishes
from your devoted Ryoga
October 25, 1995
My dearest Ryoga,
(...)...Actually, I think it makes you _more_ human than others.
Because your experience makes you more knowledgeable than most people -
very few know what it's like to wear another creature's form. (And the
form itself is so nice!) Both humans and animals are simply parts of
nature - and pigs have Buddha natures, too!
I'm very glad that you no longer have most of those terrible
nightmares. But do you know what? I wish you would keep in mind
sometimes that Akane Tendo is a regular person, not some kind of
goddess. She can make mistakes and be wrong like anyone else. If she
feels like holding you a grudge for a long time, why should you put
your whole life on hold?
Give my love to Shirokuro.
Hugs and kisses,
your little Akari
November 14, 1995
Hiya,
Akane says to tell you she thought of something you could do. You can
meet us outside the old school next Saturday or later. Say around five
or so.
Cheers,
Ranma
PS: The puppy is doing fine, says Mom.
PS II: Five p.m, that is.
November 23, 1995
Ryoga,
Shampoo accept your challenge. But if you no show up before sundown, I
claim victory.
Shampoo
November 25, 1995
(...) Well, there is an interesting new development around here. To
tell you the truth, I'm not certain whether to be grateful or not that
Mousse has gone home for his mother's birthday. I'm leaning toward the
former, though we are dreadfully overworked.
You see, we had a surprise visit the other day, from young Ryoga Hibiki
- you remember him? Son-in-law's rival, learned the Breaking Point from
me, turns into a little pig? Right. Well, of all things he handed over
a politely worded challenge letter to Shampoo, for a fight in three
weeks' time, then managed to sneak away before we could talk to him
properly and find out what's on the bottom of this.
Now, I doubt this boy is angling for an Amazon wife, not that he'd get
one anyway, as Shampoo is already spoken for. I also had him pegged for
one of those silly boys who won't fight women, or at least not young
women who look good. I would expect this to be a scheme from our
potential son-in-law, except that it seems far too subtle for him.
Well, time will tell, I suppose. Meanwhile, my great-granddaughter is a
bit rattled, and has thrown herself into training with unusual fervour.
She's afraid of acquiring another pest like Mousse, the poor thing, and
has been badgering me every minute of the day to teach her new
techniques in time for the fight. So it looks like something good will
come out of it, anyway...(...)
- excerpt from a letter by Cologne to her sister
November 26, 1995
My dear Akari,
It's getting colder. Yesterday I saw the first snow falling, many tiny
flakes spinning in the gusts of wind before settling on the ground,
where most of them melted. Today the weather is crisp and clear. I've
just finished breakfast by the campfire. I miss you.
In a few weeks I'm to fight an unusual match for me , first because I
think I'll win without too much trouble (I've had easy fights before,
but not ones who were arranged beforehand). Second, because it's
against a girl, and I usually don't fight girls.
I'm not particularly worried about that, though. I don't know what I'm
worried about, if anything. Maybe I feel a little like those snowflakes
yesterday, spinning every which way in the great white sky.
I guess perhaps I just don't know what to do with my life, or with my
time. I'm not sure I know how to be good enough, or stay good enough.
Don't get me wrong - it's not like I'm really downcast, just a little
worried, but not about this next fight. Maybe I shouldn't have
mentioned it.
Sorry I couldn't be with you for the Regional Sumo Pig Championship.
I'm happy for you that Katsunishiki won again.
All my love,
Ryoga
November 26, 1995
Dearest Ryoga,
Writing to you since there was some time since I heard from you,
perhaps you haven't seen my last letter yet.[...]
...This is probably really silly of me, but sometimes I wonder if
you wouldn't like me more - or perhaps _approve_ of me more - if I did
not care for your enchanted form (you know I can't see it as a curse).
If I hated it, just like you claim to do. But you always knew that I'm
not like that. And I think I'm right, and not just because pigs are the
best animal to turn into. We *are* part of nature.
Of course I like it best when you're a man and can hug me back. Even
so, don't be upset if I say it is a special feeling to be able to pick
up the one you love and hold him in your arms. After all, normally only
boys - strong boys - can do that, and not girls.
But that doesn't mean I would care any less for you if you lost your
enchanted form. I wouldn't! And I would help you do it, if you asked.
In fact, I wouldn't mind going to China with you one day.
Do you think we could meet at Christmas or New Year�s?
Lots of kisses from your Akari
December 14, 1995
Dearest Akari,
I'm writing you the day after I had that fight with the girl, Shampoo.
(I did win, but she asked for a rematch in January.) I would hope that
we could meet even before the holidays, but especially then. I always
try to get home for New Year's - usually Mom and Dad manage to be
there, too - but if you could come over, it would be great. Or perhaps
we could go out for a movie or something on Christmas.
Your latest letter gave me a lot to think about. I don't see why you
would think something like that - and how could I 'approve' of you
more? I'm not the one who should approve anything.
I think it's pretty safe to say that if you had hated the pig form I'd
have lied to you and kept lying, like I did to Akane. We could never
have gotten much close then.
It does feel pretty good to be hugged by the one you love, even as a
pig, I have to admit. You feel safe and protected - but you can't talk,
and you're not much good in a crisis. It's like being a mute child on
the outside, maybe even a baby.
You know, Shirokuro's puppies have gotten rather big by now - I've
given two of them away. But my cursed form doesn't change. It will
never grow up. And if I keep it, if I am happy with it, then I won't
really be grown-up myself, will I?
I would love travelling with you, but I'm scared of taking you to
Jusenkyo. It's a very dangerous place.
I miss you a lot.
Love,
Ryoga
January 19, 1996
Mousse,
I accept your challenge, but you're wrong about my intentions.
Not that it matters, anyway. Things turn wrong if they can, fights or
no fights. I'll see if I can get there on time.
Ryoga
[No date written. Postage stamp is January 16, 1996]
Dear Akari,
I wonder if you wouldn't be better off with somebody else.
Love,
Ryoga
January 27, 1996
You're scaring me. Don't scare me like that.
I'm going out to look for you now.
Love, Akari
January 31, 1996
Hello,
I've heard something of what's been going on. Will you please stop
using that horrible technique? Cologne said it only makes people more
miserable. What's more, someone could get seriously hurt, including you
even. I don't think I would like that.
I think we need to meet and talk properly. I can understand if you
won't want to come here, but you will not be turned away if you do.
At the very least, we could stop avoiding each other in the street.
Thanks for the help with Shampoo.
Yours sincerely,
Akane
PS: I'm making two copies of this letter. One I'll send to the P.O box
you use, the other I'm going to tie to your dog, if I can find her.
PS II: I don't think I would have been better off if I'd never met you.
AFTERWORD: I'd be grateful for any comments, whether it's from new
readers or from someone who remembeers it from the first draft.
I'd like to thank everyone who offered me their comments on the first
draft, especially siaru, Bert Miller and Mike Malaspina. Thanks also to
siaru and Aaron Nowack for giving me formatting advice, though I'm
afraid I wasn't able to follow it (blame my lack of computer training).
(The final editing was done on an iMac; I hope that took care of the
Microsoft-related problems.) Finally, many thanks to my prereader, Cat
Herrera.
H�strusk och gr� moln - k�p en resa till solen p� Yahoo! Resor p� adressen http://se.docs.yahoo.com/travel/index.html
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