"God," Usagi gasped as the color drained from her face.

"It's not that bad. They were both dying. It was the only way she could save

them," Setsuna explained as she shifted into the left lane.

   Usagi's reaction to this point, but Setsuna's, is a little surprising. I
wouldn't think she'd downplay it like this, or even tell Usagi. She must be
REALLY shaken up.

"When a person is turned into a demon, their body is dramatically altered.

Healing is a side effect of the conversion process," Meiou explained.

   It's seems weird for you to be refering to her by here last name here, if
she were talking to a stranger I could see it, but not in these circumstances.

After summoning her leather dress and boots, she walked over to the medical

bed where her two daughters were sleeping. She knew what she had to do, but
she was still unsure of how to do it. As Ranma watched the two sleep, a plan
formed in her mind. The demoness would need some help with it, but she knew
who would be willing to help her.

Interesting....

"Do I have too?" Akane pouted. She found clothing to be to constrictive...

Do I have <to>?

She found clothing to be <either 'too', or 'so'> constrictive....

Also, when ending a sentence with an elipse, it should be four periods, not
three.

A small growl escaped the redhead's mouth as her eyes flared violet. "NEVER

use that slur!" the demoness chastised her older child. "Not only is it
insulting to every human, but also to your whole family. Your grandmother's
human. I'm part human. You and your mate WERE human. I will NOT stand for such
language," Ranma explained, her voice stern and commanding.

"I'm sorry Mommy," Nariko whimpered. Mommy's mad at me. The girl recoiled,

pulled her knees up to her chest, and tried to hide within her wings. She
found that they were being held back. One was being held by her mate another
by her mother.

Akane's glance alternated between at the two women. She comforted Nariko,

but she knew that Mother was right. Their humanity was important.

"I didn't want to yell at you, but it's important that you understand,"

Sunshine said as she sat down on the edge of the bed and held the girl.

"About humans?" Nariko asked, her mood brightening.

   The company should find that reasuring, I hope.

Akane shrugged and tried so generate some clothing. She was soon wearing a

pair of little dark blue leather shorts and a light blue leather top that
exposed her

Akane shrugged and tried <to> generate

Ranma ruefully smiled at Akane's skills. She was proud that Akane was

willing to wear clothing for her mother, and that she figured out how to
generate clothing. Something that she herself still had trouble with.

   LOL

   I'll have to finish commenting on this later, I'm only on my lunch break,
and have to get some food in me before I head back. Excellent work so far.

--
Druid
moriryu@earthlink.net



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