Aino Minako moaned painfully as the sound of her alarm dragged her back
from deep unconsciousness, wincing repeatedly as her hair, pinned under her
unconscious self when she'd turned over in sleep, was pulled by her half conscious
stirring.

[half-conscious]

        Pulling on her Senshi uniform was a slow process this morning, delayed
by winces and stifled whimpers as pale white and gold Senshi armor caught on the
 many bright red scars that laced her body. They were more still healing wounds
that scars, really, not yet repaired even after half a night's sleep in her
battle form.

[I take it they aren't wearing the figure-skating costumes?]

       "Ah well." she whispered softly. "No use putting it off...time to go to
work again. Sleep well Art, one of us should get some rest while they can."

[Sleep well, Artemis]  
[I don't think abbreviating his name is a good idea.  It's initially confusing]

        She supposed she would have to dig through father's Journals to at least
try to learn what this portended.

[Father's journals]
[And I have difficulty believing that Tendo never mentioned the name Genma
although he obviously didn't mention their agreement or Ranma.  She should
probably recognise the name but still not know what such a terse note
portends]

        At least Akane would be able to help her there; Akane's self-study in
the Anything-goes art required pouring over those same books and scrolls

[in Anything Goes required]

       It was too quiet, as if the pedestrians bearly dared whisper, and there

[barely]

        Then had come the rain, and their change from man and boy to panda and
girl - and suddenly the streets packed with silent people streets became
abandoned wherever they went, hundreds-  thousands - of Japanese falling

[What, even the cops?]

        Perhaps either father or son could have made such a leap across an open
alleyway. Neither, however, would care to do it while ten stories up -the fall
might not kill them, but it would not leave them unmarked either.

[Bah!  Nonsense.  They could easily make such a jump with no real chance
of falling.]

        Genma believed that they had been caught up to by the Amazon peoples

[By the Amazons they had offended]

they had offended, and was making for his old friends Dojo with all the panicked
speed that his panda body could muster.

[friend's dojo]

        The report of two shapechangers in the streets had caught her in the
middle of grocery shopping, and dragged Sailor Jupiter into a rainstorm,
paceing two people who did not feel like monsters.

[pacing]

        That the shapeshifters knew they were being followed - and felt that
they needed to run - did not bode well, however.

[Be reasonable.  They just saw you get struck by lightning and you're still
coming after them.  I'd run too.]

        Several Rooftops later, she thought she detected something of a
pattern to the erratic path the Panda-man had been leading the girl on:
Nerima-wards.

[rooftops]

       Desperately stop peddling, she managed not to collide with the old

[backpeddling]

added, and a line of messier, bright red Kanji below that read, 'No
Trespassing. Violators may be shot, impaled or invited in for tea.'

[Nice touch.]

       Beyond them was a cozy house and Dojo, far more spacious than it had a
right to be in land-desperate Tokyo, and before that was a pretty young woman
in a yellow and blue Kimono, a paper umbrella shielding her from the rain.

[Don't Randomly capitalise.  Her kimono isn't that important.]

        The paper lantern that glowed brightly above her free hand was. It
hovered with no visible support and Ranma shuddered.

[Kasumi's a big show-off]

        Magic, in 'her' experience so far, was something it was better to be
wary off.  

[of]

        Ayoko smiled gratefully, and pushed herself away from the wall. "I am
not fooled - you just want to get out of answering V's interrogation for a few
hours. But I'll take you up on that offer tonight."

[facing V's interrogation]



        Jupiter laughed a little embarrasedly. "Well, maybe a little. Now go,
before it starts coming down again."

[embarassedly]

        Genma would have read his obnoxious offspring a riot act, if he had
not been still in shock, disbelieving of one thing he had heard.

[disbelieving what he'd heard]

        "Please come in and change. Once you have dried off, please come to
the kitchen, and we will have tea, and you will tell me why you had come to
visit father. I feel that it was no casually undertaken journey." Kasumi

[Father]

      The person who was not human had been too slow; A sharp rap of the
short swords's sheath underneath it's gun hand slapped the submachinegun
upwards, directing the slugs into the brickwork behind him.

[I don't think Tatewaki would class them as people.]

[short sword's sheath underneath its gun hand]

        It wasn't until Kasumi didn't yell at Nabiki for it that Ranma noticed
the gun. "Nabiki," Kasumi chided, and the snub nosed little revolver in
Nabiki's Left hand disappeared as if by magic

[left]

  Genma didn't notice it pointing at him at all before the untraditional
girl made the thing disappear, and that made Ranma even more uneasy than

[Frankly I think you are under-rating Genma.  For all of his gutless
self indulgent folly, he's survived the consequences of his mistakes
for a long time and he still knows things Ranma doesn't know.  If 
Ranma spotted the gun, I think Genma would have as well.  Although
I suppose he might pretend not to have.  After all, he's been 
surviving the consequences of his mistakes for a long time.]

        Ranma frowned at Genma, but closed his mouth on a flood of angry
questions for his sire at the elder Sisters gentle look.   Being on the

[sister]

        The other of those hands had grabbed a wrist and their owner was
concentrating darkly on taking her Pulse.  Minako didn't react to either

[pulse]

      Love, after all, was her element.   Fickle, difficult to use as a
weapon - in truth, her power within her element rivaled Saturn's, but her

[Of course the real Sailor Venus has metal as her element.  It sounds
a bit as if this one's a combination of Venus and Moon]

once - heeding his father's suddenly serious glare of warning - the boy
schooled himself to stay quiet and listen as she spoke.

[That would make more sense if Ranma hadn't been sitting still and]
[shutting up the moment Kasumi did anything at all.]  

        "Four Years ago. All of what you wish to know began four years ago."

[years]

[So Ranma stayed in China three years longer?]

of attention and concern that was not returned. Nabiki maintained a control
and stillness that was like Diamond or glass: Hard and sure, but brittle.

[diamond or glass; hard]

        "Of the Three Chaos Demons who were freed from the school Grounds, one

[grounds]

learned that there are still Samurai, even in this age, one fled, and one died
at the hands of the Master of Tendou School Unrestricted Grappling."

[samurai]

"As our father, he would not loose.  No mortal, with only the Art, can slay a
demon and survive the slaying. I was not there to watch, so I cannot tell you

[lose]

[And, nonsense!  Dweebazoid Kuno survived killing one.]

        "Our father did not live an hour after that, although there was only a
single mark on him. It was not the Demon's claws or Venom that brought him down.

[More random Capitalisation.]

and trembling. "Everything will wait until morning, now. Tomorrow Akane will
try to be ready for her patrol on the edge of the Akuma Relm - you may ask

[realm]

        'The outsider has entered the City of Angels And Devils, beyond the
law of Vengance.
        I Will follow for my own law of heart.  I will bring back a corpse
or a sister.'

[vengeance]

[And yet More random capitalisation]

        Even though it was pink, the color of the cloak did not.  Such was

[did not what?]

the skill of the garments maker that even such a un-preposeing color could
be made intimidating.

[prepossessing]


             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'