Michael A Chase wrote:
Suggested changes: {before : after}
On 05/31/2004 03:56 AM, Steve T. said:
Jupiter nodded and then had to quickly reposition her feet to avoid
being knocked over as Sailor Moon grabbed her into a bear hug.
"And here I thought you weren't paying attention!" The {blonde :
blond} haired Senshi squealed. "I'm so proud of you!"
Incorrect. "Blonde" is standard for female, "blond" for male. I haven't
been following this fic all that closely, but I don't remember any
gender reversal...
It should, however, be hyphenated with the following word; they're being
used as an adjectival phrase, modifying "Senshi", and so IMO need to be
connected by more than a space.
Sailor Moon and Sailor Jupiter. Usagi Tsukino and {Makoto : Mokto}
Kino. Magnetite had been thorough. Beryl could destroy Usagi with
just the information her newest general had placed in her hands.
One well placed rumor and Usagi would be ruined, that's all it
would take.
Correction in the wrong order - for what that's worth.
'You're safe for now, Usagi,' Beryl thought. 'But once the crystal
is found, you will die and I intend for it to last a very . . .
long . . . time . . .'
Suggest a comma (or perhaps an ellipsis, but there are already plenty of
those) after "die".