Subject: [FFML] [C&C][Fanfic][SM/SM[[1st draft] The Amazing Spiderwoman Chapter 8
From: Michael A Chase
Date: 6/1/2004, 2:41 PM
To: "Steve T." <mixednutspress@earthlink.net>
CC: FFML <ffml@anifics.com>


Suggested changes: {before : after}

On 05/31/2004 03:56 AM, Steve T. said:

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon is the creation of {Nako : Naoko} Takeuchi, 
the concepts of Spiderman and such are by Stan Lee. No {Money : 
money} is being made from this and no such intent should be {inffered
: inferred}.

"If the knock-knock joke doesn't get them, then you kill the stupid 
bastards while they try to figure the damn thing out." 
-Shayla-Shayla, El Hazard

Sounds reasonable to me, though it seems more like something this Usagi
would say instead of Shayla-Shayla

"Let me get this straight," Sailor Moon said in a maddeningly level 
voice. "In lieu of an actual plan, or even making a do or die try to 
escape, you threw a Supreme Thunder into the building we stood on, 
making it collapse under our feet. Then, somehow, we rode the 
collapse down and out of the building, while our enemies milled 
around and hopefully even got crushed by the rubble. Had even one 
thing gone wrong, just one thing, we might have gotten killed. 
Correct?"

Jupiter nodded and then had to quickly reposition her feet to avoid 
being knocked over as Sailor Moon grabbed her into a bear hug. "And 
here I thought you weren't paying attention!" The {blonde : blond} 
haired Senshi squealed. "I'm so proud of you!"

"Er . . .?" Jupiter said, feeling a gigantic drop of sweat slide down
 the back of her head.

Nice touch.  I can understand Jupiter's confusion, but it makes perfect
sense for this Sailor Moon.

'What are you doing?' Spiderwoman demanded. 'We--'

'We are being watched,' Mercury said, cutting her off. 'I can feel 
it.'

A threefer?  I don't recall it being made so explicit before.  It's
getting very crowded in Ami's head.

'Very well,' Mercury said and they entered the room. 'It is fortunate
that Aunt Mai is on the festival staff, and hasn't been home since 
the day before yesterday,' she said as they switched their clothing 
back to the school uniform. 'Explaining why we have not been home all
night would have been . . . complicated.' {Mercury : Ami} flipped on
the desk lamp and then turned and shut the window and the curtains 
before donning {their : her} pajamas and going to bed.

She acts {completly : completely} different as Sailor Moon," Kenji 
seethed as he removed his coat and tie. "She's more bold, more brash.
Not to mention she looked different until your general said her 
name."

I don't know how she could be more bold and brash; more serious perhaps.
As Beryl points out.  Of course, it could look entirely different from
his point of view.

Ami dropped her toast while Mercury restrained Spiderwoman from 
seizing control and peppering Aunt Mai with obscenities.

Definitely getting crowded in there.

"Something they do in the west," she said. "Poor kids get slapped 
with an extra name or five on top of their personal and family name."
Usagi did something under the sink and removed a large metal pipe 
about a foot and a half long and a good two inches wide.

The custom of middle names does seem a bit odd if I let myself think
about it.

"Ew," Naru said. "My point is, Ami, is that Gendo was Gendo and 
Motoki is Motoki. There's no similarities between the two and there 
shouldn't be. Shinnie loved you and because he loved you, he would 
want you to be happy. If this Motoki guy makes you happy, tie him 
down and eat sushi {of : off} his chest."

Flash looked at Usagi with a mixture of terror, fascination, and 
curiosity. When she sat on the grass, it was as far from Usagi as 
possible.

"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm schizophrenic." "No! I'm Not!"
With Usagi, I'm pretty sure it's an act to keep everyone else off
balance.  With Ami, it's not.

Sailor Moon and Sailor Jupiter. Usagi Tsukino and {Makoto : Mokto} 
Kino. Magnetite had been thorough. Beryl could destroy Usagi with 
just the information her newest general had placed in her hands. One 
well placed rumor and Usagi would be ruined, that's all it would 
take.

I'm not sure that would work that well.  Everyone already *knows* Usagi
has more than a few screws loose, so they would be very cautious about
acting on anything Beryl might release.

'You're safe for now, Usagi,' Beryl thought. 'But once the crystal is
found, you will die and I intend for it to last a very . . . long . 
. . time . . .'

... and your little dog too.

-- Mac :}) Cthulhu in 2004. Don't settle for the lesser evil. .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----. | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com | | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com | | Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject | `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'