DB Sommer wrote:

Instead, revenge could take the form of assigning them to undercover work in
'The Blue Oyster' bar, a known pick-up place for homosexual men. The suave

What, is it franchised?  

"And we do pro-bono legal cases from time to time, as in this instance," the
man who had shown the business card said as he returned it to his jacket
pocket. "We demand the  release of two innocent civilians that have been
illegally detained by you jack-booted thugs: Hiroshi Karigari and Kyosuke
Kasuga."

This must be the alternate Japan with habeus corpus.  

It took a moment for the sergeant to recall the names. "You mean Mentello

Mentallo.  Do a global search and replace.  

and the Fixer?"

"That's another slander suit!" the man in the back said.

"Our clients have not now nor ever gone by those names, and that you would
dehumanize them in such a manner indicates that you are administering to
them cruel and unusual punishment, another reason for them to be released
immediately."

"That's what they were calling themselves right after we arrested them," the
sergeant pointed out.

"They were confused from concussions they sustained after having been
assaulted by two criminals, who, I might add, you never bothered to
interrogate, let alone arrest, for their felonious acts. You can be assured
our clients will be suing for that as well. Now release them," the head

Shouldn't there be a comma after "that"?

"Only one slander suit instead of two," one of the men said.

"No!" the sergeant insisted.

Another shouted out, "Also you need to cease and desist with the violations
of Mentello's rights and remove the torture device hooked up to him."

Oops.  He just admitted that whosisface is Mentallo.  

"Actually she's the robot I told you about," the Fixer told his partner.

"The one that leaks radiation?" Mentello moved as far away as he could from
the robot, which mostly entailed of rolling down the window and leaning out

Delete "of".  

as far as he could without falling off.

Looking forward to more chapters.



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