Hullo all! I've been lurking around for a while, but this will be my
first post to the list, so do be at least somewhat kind, okay?

Thanks for all C&C in advance!


Disclaimer: Once character (at least) copyrighted by Naoko Takeuchi, Toei
Animation, and Kodansha. I'm still not idiot enough to claim her! Some
elements were taken from the game Lords Of Magic, copyright Sierra Games
and Impressions Studios.

Sorceress's Soul
Chronicled by Dro'gan, called NiteFlier

I was born Lady Chrysanthemum Halara la Deindra, of House Deindra, in
the village of Winged Haven, where my father had his summer residence.
The priestess who blessed my birth also told my father that in no
uncertain terms, that when I was of age I would come to the capitol to
be trained in the ways of Laynwyllyn.

At least, that's what they told me.

My parents were good followers of the Faith, and as such, were
overburdened with children. They could not keep track of all of us at
any one time, so they concentrated on the best of their children. And,
of course, the worst.

I was, by my own design, in the latter category.

You see, I craved attention then, but there was absolutely no way to
compete with Ardan. He was too perfect, for his golden hair and pretty
face, to his long legs and tapered boots.

I hated him.

Truth to tell, I hated all of them, from my parents who expected
everything from me, to my obnoxious siblings who never questioned the
words of the priestesses and their parents, to Ardan, that too, too
perfect bastard who could never see past his own accomplishments.

I did whatever I could to demolish their fragile, closed world.

Later in life, I came across a curious saying from a Wizard, "Which came
first, the chicken or the egg?" The logic problem applied very well to
my early life. Was it they who mistreated me first? Or I who would not
follow their calm directives? They tried to constrict me, and I tried to
tear them apart.

The other children teased and played tricks on my, but even the older
boys never tried to roughhouse with me. Not after I sent my eldest
brother, Lordan, to the temple healers when I broke his leg. No one ever
got into a fight with me again.

But other methods of oppression were in full effect, and the teasing and
tricks never stopped until the day that they sent me to the Temple.

One could almost say that I was an orphan, all alone in the world, for
my parents scorned my very existence, and my siblings ostracized me when
they were not looking down upon me. Even my youngest sister, barely out
of the crib, found my presence distasteful, and could not be comforted
anytime I was near.

I took solace in animals where I could not find it in my own kind. One
of our stable sauruses took great liking to me, and the stablekeeper
grudgingly allowed me to ride him around the paddock occasionally. But
that bit of fun was taken away when I was seven springs old, for Ardan
came into the stable one day and claimed Rhodan as his own. I was never
able to ride him after that, but did remind the saurus quite frequently
with carrots and other treats.

I still think he likes me better.

I never tried to run away, mostly for the part that in Winged Haven
there were more than enough people to hunt me down before I got even ten
leagues away, and in the capitol I was not streetwise enough to survive.

At the very least, I knew my limits.

But I did explore, and I learned how to live off the land from talking
with travelers who passed through the village. For instance, in my
seventh spring there was a party of fire dwarves come up from the south
to parley with the miners near Haven for several types of rock and ore
that were running out in their own land. They had such interesting
things to teach me, and were probably the greatest store of knowledge of
metal and smithing that one could ever find. They seemed especially
enchanted with me and my golden locks. Their own hair and features were
darkened by the fires that held sway in their land, and, as I found out
later, or own people kept children especially close, so as to not lose a
single one.

I think that is explanation enough of how my family decided to be rid of
me.

But I can claim intelligence enough that I did not wander off into any
occupied dens or warrens, although deserted ones aplenty did I explore.
Too, I made friends with the travelers that came to Winged Haven, and
learned more of Urak than was possible sitting indoors studying. Always
I gave the name "Chrys" to them, so that they might remember me. Too,
some of these friends I would later help, and be helped in return.

But that was later. Much later. After...

                               * * * * *

In the spring of my tenth year, I was presented to the Temple at the
Capitol, and taken in as a third order Acolyte.

It was worse than home.

The first day I was there, I was striped of my possessions and clothes
and given three plain white robes and a belt of rope. I was placed with
other new acolytes in a single room with a score of beds, and told that
this was now my home. Some of the younger girls started crying in shock,
but the Priestess ignored them, and told us to clean up the room.

It was a shock to me, as well. Even though I was an outcast of my
family, I was protected when necessary and had a room of my own and
things that I could claim as *mine*. Here there was only one room for
all of us, a single room for bathing, and one for other necessities. It
was so unlike what I, or even anyone from my family, judging from the
teasing and such, expected.

But I was made of sterner stuff than the others, and took command of our
group. Directing everyone to place their spare robes in the wardrobe, I
quickly scanned the other two rooms. The bathing room was tiled, with
grates in the floor for runoff, but there were no tubs, only waterspouts
and buckets. I tried the water, and found it cold, with no other handle
in sight. The cleaning closet also held the heads, but I busied myself
with the supplies, tallying up what we had.

Two minutes later I was passing brooms out to the older girls, and
handing the younger ones rags and telling them to fill up buckets with
water and soap and follow behind the sweepers and scrub. The mattresses
of the beds had no sheets, but that was rectified a half mark later when
several downtrodden girls a few years older than myself came to the door
and set packages of them inside.

I was curious as to why the girls were so... lifeless. They would not
speak, but the only difference in their robes and mine was their rope
belts were gray, and mine was still white as fresh snow.

It was an intriguing question, one that would keep me up nights for some
time.

But Damned be the day I found out.

                               * * * * *

We were set to jobs and tasks by our overseer, a Priestess who had
obviously not had to climb many stairs laden with burdens or run around
cleaning and ordering things. I know, for she made us do it. Those of us
who could write were luckier, finding ourselves tasked with copying down
scrolls and books for the Temple, instead of forced to physical labor.

But it occurred from that, something that got me mad.

One of the youngest of us, Adel, had been tasked to ferry a item of
fragility from our obese keeper to another Priestess, yet despite its
nature it was quite heavy, too heavy for a child to keep steady. The
direct result of this had Adel back in the Priestess's study, with those
of us copying things looking on.

The Priestess berated Adel for a quarter of a mark, each insult to her
self and her heritage driving Adel's self worth down visibly. I had
gotten mad at this within the first minute, but when the bloated worm
raised her hand to strike the child I found that I hadn't reached the
level of anger needed to deal with her.

The Priestess looked in shock as the downward motion of her arm was
arrested by my hand. I looked her straight in the eye and told her
succinctly, "Don't. You made your point long ago. Don't strike her, or I
will be forced to do something you would regret immensely.

I caught her other fist coming at my face in the palm of my hand, and
squeezed it just enough to hear a light crackle from the bones.
Suddenly, moving faster than I could credit her form and weight, she
wiggled out of my grasp and ran out the hall.

I hugged Adel, and calmed her, telling her all the things that she
needed to hear, and when she was no longer shaking, handed her off to
Carrie, who I had been working with.

As expected, the Priestess quickly came back, with others. I stood with
my arms crossed, but did not even have time to react as one of the other
Priestess raised her hand and said something I could not understand.

What I did understand was the bolt of light that flew from her palm at
me, throwing me back against the bookshelves. I lapsed into darkness.

                               * * * * *

When I came to, I feigned unconsciousness for a time, listening to the
Priestesses chattering around me.

"She attacked me!

"Oh, really, then you have some markings on you? Or perhaps she tapped
you so lightly your own rolls soaked it up.

"Quiet! It doesn't matter. She stood up against a Priestess, as we saw
when we entered. You ought to be taken from your position, Halthre! You
ve allowed them the freedom to think, and look where it got you!

"It's not my fault!

"So sure, Heifer?

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!

"*SILENCE*!! Thank you. Wake her.

I felt a rough nudge in my side, and obediently opened my eyes, but kept
the pretence of just awaking. I stood, and saw three other Priestesses
with the one that I knew. That was odd, because I had only heard three
voices.

The obese woman I knew puffed up. "So what do you have to say for
yourself, gutter trash?

I straightened up as befitting of a lady of House Deindra and told her,
"That if you attempt to strike another of those under my care, you will
get ten times worse to yourself! And I am not 'trash', and any of my
siblings would be willing to take you to task for that!" That last was a
calculated bluff, for none of my family would go out of their way for
me. The House, yes, but me, not a chance.

The tall silver haired Priestess snorted. "Who do you think you are
girl? A daughter of one of the Great Houses?

"Yes." I looked her straight in the eye. "I am Chrysanthemum Halara la
Deindra.

Three of the Priestess immediately broke out into yelling at each other
and me, but the oldest of them looked sharply at me, and said quietly,
"Silence.

The other three became immediately still, and I realized that this was
the one who had not spoken before. She rose unsteadily from her seat,
and came to me. I looked up into her eyes and realized that this woman
was nearing her death.

"How did one of House Deindra get mixed up with the third ranks?
Especially with..." She frowned, and turned to the others. "Put her back
where she was. She has seen too much, and is of a temperament to
unbreakable to become one of us. Sister Halthre, you are relieved of
your duties. I shall personally find another to take your place.

The obese Priestess gaped like a landed fish and looked like she was
going to argue, but I was escorted back the area of the Temple I knew
well.

                               * * * * *

Another Priestess was assigned to us, a bit more standoffish than the
last, and we gained a bit more freedom. I think it was because of me,
and that they did not want to anger House Deindra, even though I had no
way of communicating with my family.

The woman let me be, and I organized the group as I wished. We kept the
same jobs, but I spread them differently. For a time, the younger ones
were rotated in to the study to learn how to read and write, and learned
quickly, for we were not given extra paper to teach them with. The older
ones took up more of the manual labor, until the spread was equal in age
as I could make it. After that, there were regular shifts in tasks.

I gained two lieutenants from the girls, one was Carrie, who kept watch
in the study, and the other was Shara, who watched over the girls
engaged in more physical activities.

I learned from them what I had not realized before: All of them but me
were born commoners, the "street trash" that Halthre had misnamed me.
But I cared not for that little distinction of birth, and treated them
all as my sisters. They were, in a sense, for among them I found the
sense of belonging that was lacking with my birth family.

I spent my spare time in the study, copying down documents for the
future. Most of the girls didn't care to remember the words they wrote
down, but I found several interesting books that caught my attention.

In them were diaries and histories, but, as one wandering Amazon told
me, if you know the past, you can be better at predicting the future. I
learned much from those.

But I learned even more from the scrolls on the power of the Priestess.

Magic in the land was well controlled, and only available to one set of
peoples: The Priestesses of Laynwyllyn. I managed to memorize the basics
of magic before the Priestess took the scrolls back for the day, and I
unfortunately never got my hands on them again.

But I did attempt to follow the scrolls instructions, but all I was able
to do was to center myself, and feel my own talent inside of me. Later,
from other scrolls, I learned to 'see' magic, but it was a sight that
scared me some, for everything around us had magic seeping through it. I
also found that I could distinguish those of my kind, from those of
others, but that, again, was later.

                               * * * * *

Other things, learned at other times:

We were not true Acolytes, but mere servants, for the real Acolytes
started at Second rank, and were all highborn. I didn't really care,
then, for I did not know what else we were used for.

Adel grew close to my heart, and spent near as much time by my side as
my lieutenants did. I could not bear to see her eyes when we had to be
separated for any reason.

                               * * * * *

The kitchen that fed us we labored in as well, and it was events there
that let to great changes in me, both to despair, and from it.

But that day, I was taken to the lowest I have ever reached.

We had just finished cleaning the dishes from luncheon, when I saw a
sight that did not do my mood good. The obese Priestess that had tried
to hurt Adel, Halthre, stood in the doorway with a sneer on her face,
and waved for me to follow her. I did so, but gave a look to one of the
other girls. She nodded, and I knew that my lieutenants would hear of
what happened.

I paced behind the waddling form for some time, leaving the areas I knew
well, and passing through places I had only come once or twice. Going
even farther than that, and coming to a room that I had never before
laid eyes on.

Within that circular room was an arch made of gold, and in holders all
around, carefully carved Crystal. The precious substance glittered in
the light coming from the candles placed behind them. There was a ring
inscribed upon the floor, and it was here that I was placed, standing
facing the arch. Halthre gave me a cold smile, and I realized that she
was of the opinion that she was getting her revenge.

That scared me to the bone.

But she left, and another Priestess came to stand near the arch, but
outside the circle that I was in. She began to chant in a sing song
voice, and the light of the candles danced as reflected in the Crystals.

The arch began to glow fitfully, then the light grew stronger, until the
light from the candles was overwhelmed by it. I felt something tugging
at me, and I saw the weave of spells surrounding the Crystals, the arch,
and me. A strange force, reached out from the arch, seeking, searching.
The circle I was in led the power to me, and I felt something prodding
me, as if it were searching for some power that I held.

And it found it.

The power grasped me almost physically, and the glow of the arch was
blinding. Then... then...

It took from me.

It took from me that special spark, that private piece, that part of me
that was mine alone to give...

Yet it took it from me without me giving it.

>From the arch stepped a Unicorn, and the Priestess laid her hands on its
neck, and led it away, taking the power from the room.

It did not even glance at me, who had it had taken innocence from.

                               * * * * *

I don't remember much of the rest of that day.

I think I heard Carrie and Shara put me in my bed, and were worrying
about me. Especially since, they said, I now had a grey belt, instead of
white.

Unpure. Sullied. A thing to be scorned.

My mind, my emotions, my Self... were broken.

                               * * * * *

After that, I no longer led, instead Carrie and Shara took over, and
tried to cope with the zombie that I had become.

I did the tasks that were ordered, but I had no life, and showed
nothing.

Adel practically glued herself to my side that first night, and never
let go.

Halthre once again took over, and took sheer pleasure in personally
giving me impossible tasks, then berating me when I could not complete
them.

But she never hit me. And she never even looked at Adel.

Two months after my innocence was taken, and I was broken, Shara was
taken away midday.

She came back with a grey rope belt, and lifeless eyes.

Carrie nearly broke herself with tears, between trying to hold our
family together, and fearing what would happen when they took her.

Adel began sleeping in the same bed as I, not merely in the next one
over.

                               * * * * *

The kitchen.

I said that it was here that I stepped on the path to despair, and here
that I was drawn out of it.

Shara, Adel, and I, plus a few others were once again cleaning dishes.
But Shara got her hands on something we weren't allowed to touch.

A knife.

Surely, we had knives for eating, but they were dulled, and could barely
cut butter. This was a sharp, deadly one.

I saw in her eyes what she planned, no, *needed* to do, and something in
me said that it was too late for anything but forgiveness.

And that is what I said.

"I do...

Shara nodded, and shoved the blade into her chest.

She was dead before she hit the floor.

Some of the others followed, dead faints taking over from the shock.

Our Faith was that of Life, you see. Unnatural death was anathema.

I merely stood there, watching the blood spread on the stone floor, as
Adel hid her face in my chest and cried as I held her.

                               * * * * *

*SNAP*

                               * * * * *

Priestesses came and shooed us away. I did not see what they did with
her body.

We returned to our room, and the girls immediately ran to their fellows
and bawled out what had happened.

Carrie was stricken, and could not act.

Adel had stopped crying, but I her fear was quite plain.

"'Tears are needed, but cry not rivers for the parted.

The others slowly stopped crying and looked to me. I remembered that
quote out of one of the diaries. A general I think he was.

I looked at Carrie, whose eyes were wondrous. No doubt because I had not
said a word since I came back with a grey rope.

"Calm. Calm is needed now. And thought. Planning." I said. "We need to
leave. Get out of here." My mind was coming together again, the bits and
pieces organizing into coherent thought. "A plan to get away before
another one is taken to that place. Carrie." The girl looked at me with
hope in her eyes. "Tonight. Gather everyone up and get them to meet
tonight. In the cleaning closet. We will make plans then.

The others looked to each other and saw hope through the sadness.

                               * * * * *

We gathered that night, and ideas were discussed. I had my own, but I
knew that the others had to express theirs, and faults exposed before
they would accept mine.

I'm not sure if I was still numb to some things, or if I was being
overprotective.

They did not like my plan, but could find no real fault in it, and
indeed, it was most likely to be the best chance at them getting away
uncaptured.

But not me.

                               * * * * *

Halthre called me into the study the next day before the others had
gotten there to begin scribing down documents as she had done since she
came back. I acted as lifeless as I had been.

She was arrogant and got up into my face, her beady eyes reflecting her
joy at her revenge.

"So your friend is dead! Too bad, I won't have another willing servant;
you both could have helped me with your soulless bodies. What do you
think of that!

She turned away, not expecting an answer. "I think that you've gone too
far.

She spun around disbelief in her eyes, but I had already caught her neck
in my hands. "No more, Halthre. Not in this Life, at least." With a
twist, and a *crack*, she is slipping to the floor, dead.

I return to the others, and quickly grab the makeshift pack that Adel
has prepared. They look at me with concern, for they know what I must
have done.

I turn to Carrie, "Remember, South to the lands of Fire. And 'Chrys'. It
is faint hope, but it is better than anything else.

Carrie gives a wavering smile, and hugs me quickly. "May some God or
Goddess of Good smile upon you, even if Laynwyllyn does not.

My smile wavers as well, and I reach down and give Adel a tight hug.
"Take care of yourself, and your sisters." I whisper to her.

She has tears in her eyes when she replies, "If I go to the Meadows
Beyond before you, I shall wait patiently for your arrival." She knows,
as do I, that it is more like to be me waiting.

I leave them, stopping by the study for only a moment to take several of
the scrolls.

                               * * * * *

They have sent all they could spare after me. I know it, for I have been
running for nearly four days, and have not seen any animal larger than a
hare. They know that a force is coming.

Hopefully it will be enough to let my sisters escape to the Lands of
Fire.

Hopefully, before I am run down like the hart that I am.

                               * * * * *

End part one.


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