Mark Shurtleff wrote:
At 05:44 PM 5/26/2004, Larry F wrote:
Have to agree with the concerns that others have brought up. The
scene between the police and the Tendos, and the scene with Ukyo and the
Imperials seems to be "Poor Ranma. He's so helpless and pitiful that the
Powers That Be come down from on high to get his vengeance and clean up
his messes for him."
Things are not always what they appear to be on the surface, either.
Maybe. But you are in your ninth chapter and Ranma is still being portrayed
as the helpless and pitiful victim who has, let's see now, a goddesslike
supernatural being, a super-rich family of superninja, and the entire
japanese government involved in rescuing and succoring him when they aren't
arranging for vengeance to rain upon everyone he was previously associated
with...except for Ukyo for some inexplicable reason. I guess, because she's
the cute fiancee.
Dunno why you wrote it that way, but it's not very effective
storytelling. That sort of deus-ex-machina device is, at least on the
surface, a sign of laziness on the part of the writer.
I disagree with the "not very effective storytelling" part completely -
having been told by other readers with a significant amount of "real world
experience" that I was actually too *damn* effective.
"Deus-ex-machine"?? *snort*
This sort of comment is, at least on the surface, a sign of extreme
laziness and ignorance on the part of the reader.
Anyone who does not understand *why* there is a 95% conviction rate for
arrests in Japan hasn't bothered to do any research on the criminal justice
system in Japan.
That response sounds very much as if you don't understand the meaning
of deus ex machina. Historically the deus ex machina was the machine
that lowered Zeus onto the stage so that he could smite the characters
who had not been virtuous. The virtuous characters do nothing really
to cause this, Zeus just happens to notice what's going on and decide
to do some smiting while the virtuous characters stand by passively,
their fates taken out of their hands by divine intervention. So
what Japanese cops routinely do or or don't do is beside the point.
And what is that point? Well we've suddenly got all these powerful
forces practically colliding in their eagerness to succor poor pitiful
passive little Ranma, and of course when
they aren't doing that, to eliminate all of Ranma's enemies and
take vengeance on some of them in the process. Those powers are
the deus ex machinae. Ranma need do nothing except stand around
in women's underwear and whimper. It looks like all of his
problems will be solved for him without him so much as lifting
a finger. The Japanese cops who have heretofore shown less
than no interest in what was going on
will suddenly punish the Tendos on behalf of the author for all
the nasty things they did to innocent little Ranma who never
did anything to them. Except Kasumi, because the author
likes Kasumi. Zeus only smites the wicked, after all, even
if the police are liable to be less discriminating.
Now, sure, maybe that isn't what is going on. Maybe the author
doesn't see Ranma as a helpless victim and maybe the author
didn't write a scene of the Tendos being abused because he
really doesn't like the Tendos, and maybe he didn't give
Ukyo cartloads of money because he likes Ukyo and sees
her as a Ranma-like victim of Genma who is wicked and
responsible for anything wrong she does and
therefore deserves to be smited for his lack of virtue.
But we are nine chapters in, and the story still doesn't
have an identifiable protagonist. Get off your ass, Ranma.
This hurt/comfort crap has gone on long enough. What are
you, a puppet?
.---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
| Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
| Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
| Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
`---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'