Quoting Gary Kleppe <gary@garykleppe.org>:

As you say, there are times when an author has to
keep the readers in the dark so as to surprise them
later. But short of giving away secrets, there are
often ways to maintain reader confidence. More
foreshadowing, maybe.

As a concrete suggestion, having Nabiki wonder more,
and from a more in-the-know perspective, about what's
REALLY going on here, might have short-circuited some
of the commentary going on now.  Granted, that would
seem to be not quite in tune with the Nabiki presented
in this story, who is not as smart as she thinks she
is.

However, the Kasumi presented in this story seems to
be very aware of many things.  It might have been even
more effective to show us, upstairs, Kasumi somehow
listening in to the goings-on, and rapidly coming to
the conclusion that something is really, really off.
Having a character ask the questions to which the
author wishes to call attention as NOT having been
answered is usually an effective way to get the
point across.
 
More generally, my first reaction to this chapter was
shock.  Some parts of me did wonder where the marvelous
story seen in previous chapters had gone; these parts
warred with the urge to assume that Mark knows what
he's doing.  In the latter's favor was the recognition
that the scenes in question were quite remarkably
effective, given how little was actually described (or,
possibly, because of it).  The author obviously intended
to raise the reader's blood pressure, and very much
succeeded in my case.

At this point, we've seen Akane and Nabiki subjected to
a punishment (or an ordeal) which Akane, at least, does
not appear to have merited, in any scenes shown to the
readers.  (We've had various characters comment on
Akane, but we've not been shown Akane herself doing much
of anything.)

[The only reason I exclude Nabiki from the above is that
charging Ukyou approx $90 for a tape which she fully
believed showed Ranma's death struck me as one of the
most cruel things I've ever seen her depicted as doing.
That act also really jumped out at me here.]

What will be the meaning of this punishment or ordeal?
Well, as stated, so far it CAN'T be punishment, in
Akane's case; she hasn't done anything.  So then it must
be "bad things happening to good people", which implies
that we will see these police receive a comeuppance in
a later chapter.  Looking forward to it.


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