Have to agree with the concerns that others have brought up. The
scene between the police and the Tendos, and the scene with Ukyo and the
Imperials seems to be "Poor Ranma. He's so helpless and pitiful that the
Powers That Be come down from on high to get his vengeance and clean up
his messes for him."

	Dunno why you wrote it that way, but it's not very effective
storytelling. That sort of deus-ex-machina device is, at least on the
surface, a sign of laziness on the part of the writer.

	I say "on the surface", because up until now, you've been doing
a much better job than that. I'll stay hopeful that in the future,
you'll be presenting scenes that will justify it. Still, it does leave a
poor impression for now.

	On the whole, I've been enjoying the story immensely. I rather
like the fact that Nodoka is still filtering her ideas about Ranma
through her own preconceptions, even after coming to terms with the
curse. She's made a complete 180-degree about-face from her desire to
make him a "man's man", and now thinks that he has to be treated as
completely feminine. That is at odds with his own hope that if he can
learn enough about his new power, he can control the curse and only be
female when "on duty". I saw that as a setup for even more mistaken
"Let's play dress-up with Ranko" scenes in the future, as Nodoka tries
to bond with him the way she would if he'd been a daughter, just when he
thinks that his relationship with her is only going to get better.

	Keep up the good work.



     Ja mata,
     Larry F

     The Lost Library of Florestica
     http://rakhal.com/florestica/

     La Biblioteca Perdida de Phantasia
     (The Lost Library of Phantasia)
     http://phantasiaca.tripod.com/ 

     Nuke 'Em 'Till They Glow!! The Early Years
     http://nettg.simud.org/



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