I Was a Teenage Dummy Plug
Part 11: My Ship's Come In and It's the Titanic/ Different Viewpoints: 
Ritsuko
A Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfic by Logan J. Goodhue
*** Disclaimer***
Neon Genesis Evangelion is � and � GAiNAX, et al.
This story is for nonprofit entertainment only.
First Version, 08FEB2004; Current Version, 13APR2004

My Ship's Come In And It's the Titanic, Part One

	On Wednesday morning, after an uneventful Tuesday, I walked with Rei to the 
geofront. We breezed through the security screening and got into the 
elevator to Terminal Dogma. As usual, Rei was being the vivacious chatterbox 
that all the fanboys loved.

	" . . ." she said.

	Admittedly, ours was a relationship based on quiet moments together, but 
this was ridiculous. Nevertheless, it was enjoyable in its own way. My own 
siblings back in "reality" had been much more raucous. It was nice to have 
family time that didn't involve a shouting match or a merry chase around the 
house that devolved into Wrestlemania XXXI. I smiled to myself at the 
memory.

	Then, I winced. I was feeling nervous about whatever tests Ritsuko wanted 
to run today, and my insides were being attacked by carnivorous butterflies. 
It was disconcerting to know that something traumatic had happened each time 
I'd been in the geofront before: my arrival, medical examinations, an Angel 
attack, and even Gendo killing me. I stopped suddenly.

	I was dimly aware of Rei turning to look at me as recollection struck. I 
felt indignation as I stepped out of the tube to see Gendo's reptilian gaze. 
I must have shouted something at him, because he grimaced, pulled the gun 
and leveled it at me. I turned slightly as Ritsuko gasped in shock and then 
immediately returned my attention to that bastard, Rokubungi. The grimace 
had been replaced by a smirk and a flash of rapidly combusting 
nitrocellulose. Soon, my vision was filled with a small, spinning projectile 
that got larger and larger . . .

	. . . And then I woke up in the tube and saw my own cooling corpse when 
they let me out. 'Y'know,' I thought, 'that sort of thing just ruins my 
day.' I shook my head and smiled ruefully. 'What a time for a vivid 
flashback.' I grimaced as a particularly vicious butterfly turned into a 
full-blown cramp.

	"Oh, Hell," I said with sickened comprehension. The vaguely unsettled 
feeling in my gut wasn't due to nervousness.

	"What is wrong, Emi?" Rei asked. I looked at her and smiled weakly when I 
saw the slight concern in her eyes.

	"Nothing's exactly wrong, Sis," I said gently, putting my hand on her 
shoulder as we approached Doctor Akagi. "I'll tell you all about it later, 
okay?" My twin nodded once and stepped into the small locker room we used to 
"change" for Dummy Plug synchronization. I walked over to where Ritsuko was 
scrutinizing her clipboard.

	"Good morning, Doc," I said with a slight waver as another cramp hit. "Do 
you have a minute?"

	"Good morning," she responded, "and yes, I do." She tilted her head 
slightly. "What can I do for you . . ." Her eyes twinkled in amusement. " . 
. . Emi-chan?"

	I fought down my irritation at the honorific. "I need some . . ." My cheeks 
heated as I searched for an appropriate euphemism. " . . . Hygiene supplies 
after we're done today." I shifted uncomfortably as the good doctor digested 
that information. "Will that be a problem?"

	"No," she said, distracted. I found myself disturbed by the look of 
surprise warring with amusement on her face.

	'That doesn't bode well,' I thought as a naked Rei stepped out of the 
locker room. I found my breath caught in my throat. Despite being physically 
identical to her and considering her a sister, I still found myself 
appreciating her beauty. I had to look away quickly, a feeling of shame 
filling me as I went into the locker room and prepared myself for my own 
Dummy Plug synchronization.

	Whatever awkwardness and discomfort I was feeling dissipated when I was 
floating in the tube of LCL. In fact, I was surprisingly relaxed and felt 
almost normal. Grasping the sense of peace, I settled down and just let my 
mind wander into a sort of Zen trance. No angelic dreams, apocalyptic 
worries or biological discomforts plagued me.

	As all good things do, my blissful state of no-mind eventually came to an 
end. I left the tube and made my way to the locker room. Ritsuko came in 
with my supplies after I finished showering to remove the lingering LCL. She 
gave me refresher instructions on their proper use, smiling all the while at 
my embarrassment.

	"You wouldn't be enjoying this as much," I muttered darkly, "if I'd been 
born a girl in the first place." I tugged on my jeans and pulled a tee shirt 
over my head.

	"True," the ersatz blonde replied. Her amused smirk widened into a grin as 
she thought of something. "However, I can give you some advice on how to 
relieve the cramps."

	"Really?"

	"Mm-hm." Her eyes glinted mischievously as she leaned over and shared a 
piece of folksy wisdom that left me blushing the color of Unit Two. I 
quickly made my way out to where Rei was waiting for me. Ritsuko's laughter 
echoed down the hall.

Different Viewpoints: Ritsuko

	Ritsuko Akagi got herself back under control. She'd needed the laughter, 
and "Emi-chan" was even more fun to tease than Misato. The best part was 
that the advice she'd given was true. Emi would feel better if she undertook 
the "self-explorations" she'd recommended.

	She sobered quickly as she remembered the reason for the advice. Emi was 
undergoing menarche. That should have been impossible. Both she and Rei were 
supposed to be sterile.

	Frowning, Ritsuko walked over to the MAGI terminal in front of Emi's 
synchronization tube and called up the medical data from today's session. 
Most of the data was as expected: a steady heart rate and strong brainwaves. 
Strangely, the chemical sensors in the LCL filtration system had picked up 
the expected hormones and debris, but no blood. In fact, the LCL had been 
surprisingly pure for a six hour run.

	"Hmm, that's funny . . ." the director of Project E mused. She sighed and 
entered the occurrence into the already enormous file on the enigmas that 
surrounded Emi Arizona Ayanami. A few minutes of work, and she finished the 
report for Commander Ikari's desk. He would also be pleased that the MAGI 
had finally cracked that bizarre encryption code on the DVD's that had been 
found in Terminal Dogma after Emi's arrival.

	As an afterthought, she changed into her powder blue teddy and buttoned up 
her lab coat. Perhaps the Commander would be . . . in the mood. Smiling, she 
made her way to his office.

My Ship's Come In And It's the Titanic, Part Two

	The sensation of impending doom descended on me as I walked beside Rei 
towards our apartment. Strangely, I also had the same thrill running up my 
spine that I had when I was talking to Kensuke on Monday. I finally noticed 
Rei's expectant gaze as it met my own.

	"It is later," she stated firmly.

	I shook off the feeling and told her what was going on. She listened 
intently. Strangely, she seemed sympathetic, but underneath it there was . . 
. jealousy?

	"Rei," I said gently, with some disbelief, "it's not that great to go 
through it, but you should know that, shouldn't you?"

	"I do not." She looked away from me. "Doctor Akagi has told me that I will 
never go through menarche."

	My jaw dropped in shock. "But . . ." I swallowed nervously. "But we're 
supposed to be identical."

	"Apparently," she said, "we are not." I held in a gasp as I noticed a 
shimmering of tears in her eyes. I quickly succumbed to my fraternal 
instincts and caught her in a hug, trying to comfort her.

	"It's all right, Rei," I soothed. It seemed to work, as her tears were 
never shed. She quickly recomposed herself and stepped away.

	"Thank you, Emi." She then resumed walking towards our apartment, as though 
nothing had happened. Somehow, I had a feeling that the subject would be 
brought up again.

	'I hope I'm ready when it is,' I thought as I began to follow her. I was 
brought up short by a familiar voice.

	"Emi!" Misato squealed, bringing me into a tight embrace. 
"Congratulations!" Normally, I would have enjoyed the close proximity to 
such a buxom woman, but I was finding it hard to breathe. I absently noted 
that she was babbling about the proud sisterhood of adult women as I tried 
to gently extricate myself.

	"Doctor Akagi told you, didn't she?" I asked dryly.

	"Mm-hm!" Misato's grin nearly split her face. "Now, we've got to have a 
party, just us girls . . ." I could practically see the beer truck arriving 
in her eyes.

	"I'd rather not, Misato," I said, finally breaking free.

	"But your first time only happens once!" A pleading look crossed her face.

	My resolve wavered slightly, but I held firm. "A valid point, but no, thank 
you." I started towards the elevator. I took a glance over my shoulder at 
the NERV operations officer and shuddered at the sly cast her grin had 
taken. I heard an electronic chirp, and stopped to watch Misato answer her 
cell phone. I couldn't help it. I was curious. Also, I might have known in 
which order the Angels were going to attack, but I had no idea when.

	"Captain Katsuragi," she stated. "Oh, Rit-chan! Hi! What can I do for you? 
Yes? Uh-huh. Okay, I'll be right over." She closed and pocketed her phone 
and then called to me. "Emi? Could you tell Asuka and Shinji that I got 
called back to work? I should be back in a couple of hours."

	"Sure," I replied as cheerfully as I could in my condition. "It's on my 
way, anyway."

	"Great! See ya!" Misato whirled and bounced off in the direction of the 
parking lot.

	Shaking my head in amusement, I took the elevator upstairs. Upon reaching 
my floor, I discovered Shinji standing in front of the door to the apartment 
he shared with Asuka and Misato. He seemed to be staring at the number in 
bemused shock. He raised and lowered his hand towards the knob, as if he 
couldn't decide whether or not to open it.

	"What's wrong, Shinji?" I asked as I drew near. He turned to face me and I 
could see the confused look in his eyes and the vibrant red hand mark on his 
cheek.

	He smiled slightly and wonder filled his voice as he rubbed his cheek. "She 
said 'yes!'"

My Ship's Come In And It's the Titanic, Part Three

	Thursday afternoon found me accompanying Asuka and Hikari on a shopping 
trip. I had tried to bring Rei along, but she was meeting the Commander for 
dinner.

	Like our last jaunt, we were at the Red Star Family Department Store. This 
time, however, I got to stay out of the dressing rooms. A simple statement 
that I still had clothes I hadn't worn yet had derailed Hikari's attempt to 
get me into another pink ruffle confection, and Asuka was deflected by the 
discovery of her own, untouched hazard pay account.

	"How's this, Blue?" Asuka asked as she stepped out of the changing room. 
She swirled the knee-length skirt to an elegant ensemble, causing the tags 
to flutter briefly. I swallowed reflexively. She looked amazing, and I 
recognized the dress. The black bodice and white ruffled skirt were almost 
exactly the same as one of the dresses Sadamoto had used for a cover of the 
Evangelion manga.

	"You'll knock his socks off, Red," I said honestly. Hikari's entrance in 
one of the pink . . . things cut off Asuka's reply. It was strange. If 
either Asuka or I had worn it, we'd have looked incredibly stupid. Hikari, 
on the other hand, looked devastatingly cute, almost as if it had been 
designed with her in mind. "That's a keeper, Hikari. Touji won't know what 
hit him." The brunette blushed brightly.

	Despite having what I thought were perfect outfits, Asuka and Hikari spent 
the next few hours trying on outfits before finally settling on the ones I 
thought looked best. Not to say that it was boring, it was far from it. I 
was able to get into the conversations and joking. I might not have been up 
on the gossip, but I was a quick study. I was glad to get my mind off of my 
physical discomfort.

	Once again, we sat in the ice cream parlor after the purchases were made. 
With half-consumed sundaes in front of us, we continued our gossip.

	"So, Blue," Asuka said, gesturing at the shopping bags arrayed around our 
table. "You've seen what we're going to wear. What have you got planned?"

	"Well," I said, chasing a cherry around the bottom of my dish with my 
spoon, "I thought I'd wear my dress uniform."

	"We have dress uniforms?" the redhead asked incredulously.

	"Yep!" I replied sunnily. "I placed the order for it yesterday." I shifted 
uncomfortably. I had reread my orientation manual and discovered a picture 
of the EVA pilots' uniforms. Besides the plug suits and formal dress, we had 
fatigues and daily use uniforms. "We count as part of operations, so our 
uniforms would be similar to Misato's."

	Hikari frowned. "Wouldn't the skirt be awfully short?" she asked. "I've 
seen what Captain Katsuragi wears, and it's not very modest." Asuka snorted 
in agreement.

	"That's her daily wear, not her dress uniform," I replied. "Besides, she 
has special allowances for her position." I rummaged through my satchel and 
pulled out my manual. I quickly checked the security classification and 
grimaced. "Well, I was going to show you the uniform, but the only picture I 
have is right across from some classified material."

	"Can't you fold the book over?" Asuka asked. "You know, not show her the 
classified stuff?"

	I looked at Asuka with disbelief. "Red, just how long have you been an EVA 
pilot?" I asked rhetorically as I put the booklet away. "You know how strict 
security is. The only way I can let Hikari see anything in this book is if 
she either gets a job as one of our bridge bunnies or if she gets selected 
as the Fifth Child." I pulled out a notebook and a pencil and began 
sketching. "Of course, since the uniforms are considered public knowledge . 
. . " My pencil strokes formed sticks and circles as I roughed in a female 
figure.

	"Bridge bunnies?" Hikari asked, confused.

	"I got the term from a giant robot anime I saw once." I replied, smiling at 
her. "There were these girls in cute uniforms that worked on the bridge of 
the main starship who mainly served as exposition devices and rattled off 
all sorts of techno babble." I hoped my explanation would suffice, because I 
needed to concentrate on what I was doing.

	My friends moved so they could get a better view as the sketch took shape. 
A static pose allowed me to display the uniform properly. As an 
afterthought, I roughed in a second figure so that I could show the back of 
it. The knee-length skirt and matching jacket put forth a professional 
image, which the sensible flats enhanced. I put rough hairstyles 
representing both Asuka and myself on the figures, and placed the service 
caps at the correct angle. I thought for a moment and placed in the red 
cuffs and collars on the jackets and then quickly hatched the uniforms to 
show their dark color.

	"Wow!" Hikari breathed. "You draw really well, Emi! And those uniforms look 
nice."

	"I'm not that good . . . " I demurred and cast a critical eye over my work. 
To my chagrin, my usual mistakes had cropped up again. Both figures' waists 
were too narrow, and I'd hidden their hands beneath the cuffs of the 
sleeves. I hoped Asuka wouldn't comment on how large I'd drawn her bust.

	The redhead closely scrutinized the drawing and snorted. "I suppose it's as 
good a uniform design as any."

	"Hey," I said defensively, "I didn't design 'em. I just drew them."

	"Oh, relax, Blue!" she said dismissively. Then, an evil smirk crossed her 
face. "You do know that geek is going to freak out when he sees you in that, 
don't you?"

My Ship's Come In And It's the Titanic, Part Four

	"Oh, wow!" Kensuke exulted. He was obviously enthralled by the perfectly 
tailored uniform I was wearing. The stunned looks on Shinji and Touji's 
faces indicated that they were likewise affected by the other girls' 
outfits.

	We had taken the time to change into our outfits before we made our way to 
the docks to meet the Rainbow Connection. The boys, on the other hand . . .

	"Idiot!" Asuka yelled as she slapped Shinji in the back of his head. "What 
kind of date is it when the guy doesn't dress up? You could at least have 
buttoned up your shirt and put on a tie or something." Meanwhile, Hikari was 
glaring at Touji's tracksuit. Of course, he was completely oblivious to what 
was wrong.

	I sighed heavily. 'Was I that much of an idiot when I was a guy?' I 
thought. The really sad thing was that the least serious "relationship" here 
looked the best. Kensuke was dressed sharply in a pseudo-military outfit 
with his omnipresent camera firmly in hand. I snapped to attention and 
sketched a salute, causing his face to be obscured by his camera's 
viewfinder.

	"You will give me a print of that picture, won't you?" I asked.

	"Of course," he replied with a grin. Any further conversation between us 
was halted by the screech of tires as Misato's car skidded to a halt. Misato 
bounded out with a garment bag slung over her shoulder and approached us. 
Kensuke and Touji immediately turned their attention to the voluptuous 
Captain, who winked and shot them a peace sign. She made her way to Shinji 
and said something I missed because a fuming Hikari had walked over.

	"Why those, those," she stammered, searching for an appropriate word, 
"boys! When I get my hands on Suzuhara . . . " She blinked and looked at me 
in confusion. "Why aren't you more upset, Emi? Aida is paying more attention 
to Captain Katsuragi than to you."

	I looked at her sadly. "I tried to tell you guys that it wasn't a date, but 
nobody would listen to me. I heard that Kensuke liked this sort of thing and 
thought it would be nice to invite one of Shinji's friends along. He 
overreacted and the rumor mill had its way with the facts." I put a more 
cheerful smile on my face and continued. "So, who wound up asking who 
between you and Touji?"

	She blushed and replied softly, "We sort of asked each other at the same 
time . . ."

	"See," I said gently. "He does care. He probably didn't dress up because he 
doesn't have any dressier clothes, or something." I took a look over at the 
Stooges and came up one short. "Hey, Hikari. Where'd Ace go?"

	"Ace?"

	"You know, Shinji?" I held my hand horizontally just slightly above my 
head. "About this tall, has five Angel kills?"

	"The idiot's only got three solo kills, Blue," Asuka interrupted as she 
stormed over. Reaching us, she crossed her arms and began tapping her foot 
impatiently. "He'd better hurry up or we're going to be late."

	I checked my watch. "We've got plenty of time, Red. We're almost there, 
it's only 14:30, and the Rainbow Connection isn't supposed to dock until 
15:00. So, where'd he go?"

	"Misato brought him some clothes," she grumped. "He ducked into a bathroom 
to change."

	"Speaking of our commanding officer . . . " I said. "Here she comes, now." 
I snapped to attention and saluted as she drew near.

	Captain Katsuragi returned the salute. "As you were, Pilot Ayanami," she 
said with a grin. I immediately relaxed and returned the grin. "So," she 
continued, "what have you girls got planned for later?"

	"Besides prying my 'date' off with a crowbar?" I quipped.

	Misato laughed gaily. "No, seriously, Emi."

	"Sounds about right to me," Asuka said.

	"Asuka!" Hikari chided and turned to Misato. "I think the boys are going to 
treat us to dinner, Captain Katsuragi."

	"Jeez," Misato winced. "Call me 'Misato,' okay?"

	"Um, okay, Miss Misato." Hikari seemed to draw within herself. I set my 
hand reassuringly on her shoulder, and she relaxed.

	"Well, it's a start . . ." Misato sighed and then smiled as Shinji arrived. 
"And here's my little Shinji!"

	"Misato!" Shinji whined, embarrassed. He had changed into the male version 
of the EVA pilot's dress uniform. Sadly, his bearing was a little timid for 
any sort of military apparel. Asuka approached him and began a minute 
inspection. Satisfied, she stepped back.

	"You'll do, Third," she stated. "Who'd have thought you'd clean up so 
well?"

	Since everyone was now ready, we made our way to where we were going to 
meet the aircraft carrier. I noticed the Section Two agents scattered about, 
but only because I was looking for them. I noticed with some amusement that 
Oeda and Kanzaki, the only agents I knew by any name, were acting undercover 
as street vendors. While we waited, we broke up into our date pairs and 
began to chat.

	Hikari seemed to have gotten over her anger at Touji's fashion sense. They 
sat on a piling on the dock and watched the seagulls flying amidst the 
wreckage of old Tokyo. Occasionally, Touji would point out one gull or 
another, and Hikari would sight along his arm. She would realize what she 
was doing and jump suddenly, but eventually, she would do it all over again. 
It was sweet, really.

	Shinji and Asuka were fun to watch, as well. Asuka did almost all of the 
talking, as usual. She ranted passionately and made grand gestures while her 
captive audience just smiled gently and took whatever she dished out with 
good grace. One smack to the back of Shinji's head brought a comment from my 
own "date."

	"How could Shinji have betrayed us to the Devil?" Kensuke asked mournfully. 
"It's even worse that he asked her."

	"They have a lot in common," I said. "Besides EVA, I mean." I gazed out 
towards the mouth of the harbor and saw a whale breaching. It seemed to hang 
in midair for a moment, and then plunged back into the ocean in a plume of 
spray.

	"What do you mean, Emi?"

	"I can't really say," I replied. "It's not my story to tell." I shifted to 
a more comfortable position. I must have done something inadvertently sexy, 
because Kensuke's gaze was riveted on my legs. I cleared my throat and 
pointed at my face. "My eyes are up here, Aida."

	He blushed and stammered an apology. I shook my head gently.

	"It's all right, Kensuke," I said. "I know you can't help it. You are a 
guy, after all." I turned my attention back toward the harbor and caught the 
silhouettes of the transport fleet on the horizon. "Well, there they are."

	Kensuke immediately grafted the camera's eyepiece to his face and began 
filming. His conversation was now limited to exclaiming in delight at each 
new class of warship as they drew near enough to identify.

	The flotilla was impressive, twenty vessels strong. I'd always thought the 
effect was a myth spread by tourists who'd spent too long overseas, but I 
found myself brimming with emotion as I saw the Stars and Stripes flying 
from various masts on at least sixteen of the ships, including the star of 
the show.

	According to the files I'd been able to access, the USS Rainbow Connection 
was, like the Over the Rainbow, a Sinatra-class nuclear aircraft carrier. 
While I couldn't care less about her displacement tonnage or the number of 
planes she carried, she was the grandest sight I'd ever seen as she glided 
into her berth. She was also the most frightening, considering her cargo.

	Misato gathered her brood and led us towards the gangplank. After protocol 
was satisfied and my arm was sore from all the saluting, we walked across 
the flight deck towards the tarpaulin-covered mass of Unit Three. Hikari, 
Touji and Kensuke were stopped by security some distance away. As I neared 
it, I began to shake.

	Misato was right beside me in a heartbeat and had an arm around my 
shoulder. "Are you okay, Emi?" she asked.

	"I'm s-sorry Misato," I stammered through my fear and tried to put on a 
brave face. "I'm just a little n-nervous. Stage fright, you know?"

	She smiled gently. "Well, you're not on yet, you're just meeting your EVA." 
She turned to a Marine and said something to him. Moments later, the 
tarpaulin began to fall away to reveal Unit Three in all its glory.

	"Man, it's ugly," Asuka opined.

	"And the other EVAs are pageant winners?" I asked defensively. I might have 
been scared of it, but it was still my EVA.

	Throttling down my fear as well as I could, I took a critical look at the 
multi-ton death machine. Just as I remembered it from the anime, it was 
black as night with white stripes on the arms. Its lines were sleek, and it 
gave the impression of efficient lethality even at rest. I tentatively put 
my hand on the armor plating on the back of its hand and felt my fear 
dissipate. Somehow, I knew that Bardiel, the Thirteenth Angel, hadn't yet 
possessed it.

	I backed away when the NERV technicians arrived to begin moving it onto the 
massive wheeled transport. After a half hour, it was finally ready for the 
short drive to the geofront. Kensuke, Hikari, and Touji rejoined us, and we 
had an unremarkable dinner. Later, I stood in front of my door talking to 
Kensuke.

	"So, did you have a good time?" I asked.

	"You bet!" he enthused. "Thanks for inviting me along. They didn't even 
confiscate my camera!"

	"Yeah, well," I said, "I had fun, too, but I hope you understand that this 
wasn't a real date for me."

	Disappointment was writ large across his freckled face. "It wasn't?"

	"No, this was me hanging out with my friends who happened to be on a date." 
I paused, letting him digest the information. "Remember when I told you that 
my tastes were . . . different?"

	He thought for a moment. "Yeah, I seem to remember something about that. 
Why?"

	"It's why I told you that we couldn't be anything more than friends." I 
opened my door and turned back to look him in the eye. "Kensuke, I'm a 
lesbian." His eyes widened in shock. "Please don't say anything about it to 
anyone at school, okay?" Seeing him nod dumbly, I stepped over the 
threshold. "Good night, Kensuke," I said gently as I closed the door.

***Author's notes***
Sorry for how long this took to get out, but as usual, Real Life gets in the 
way. I have a part time job with flexible scheduling. In other word, I have 
random shifts. Some weeks I work evenings, others I work mornings. Because 
of this, my circadian rhythms are completely fouled up . . .

Next time: Emi's first time in the entry plug of Unit Three has a few 
surprises, and someone important "drops in." It's I Was a Teenage Dummy Plug 
Chapter Twelve: Back in the Saddle Again / The Sky is Falling! Plus there'll 
be some fan service, too!

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