On Mar 16, 2004, at 8:56 PM, Angus MacSpon wrote:

Author's note: Corrected spelling and cleared up a few things. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Slayers is the property of Software Sculptors. The Protoss
are the property of Blizzard Games. No money is being made from this
and no such intent should be inferred.

A-ha.  That's who the "Protoss" are.  Never heard of them, I'm afraid,
so when I read this the first time around I was wondering which anime
series I'd missed now. :)

Actually, Starcraft would make a decent anime, come to think of it.

A few other comments, while I'm at it ...

Whoo-hoo!

Winter had come to Seyrun. With icy fingers, it had taken the city and
seemed to be torn between choking the city and giving it a break.

When I first read this sentence, I thought you meant breaking bones ...

I'll clear that up

there's those . . . Cephid cultists cropping up by the handful. I 
could
care less who worships what, but what gives them the idea that the God
of the Dragons gives an arse about their problems?"

Nicely put. :)

Thanks.

gentlemen
(No females in the council?)

Honestly, I didn't think of it. There should be, I suppose, but the 
Slayers world still largely seems like a Man's world where women don't 
really play politics.

Amelia muttered to herself, scribbling numbers on a sheet of parchment
as she reviewed the sheets of paper spread out on the table before 
her.

The mixture of parchment and paper here is curious.  Deliberate?

Not really. Should I change it?

"Why," she asked herself. "Why did King Wes have to get drunk and sign
Brodaboon over to my grandmother?"

Because ... um.
Because he was a man?  :)

There's other reasons as well. But sure, why not?

"You said you overheard parts of the conversation," Amelia pointed 
out.
"Not the whole conversation. It could be something else."

Wow, she *has* matured.

*nods*

If Sendar was surprised, he gave no sign. "Very good, Sire. But may I

Ummmmmm.  "Sire"?

It seemed appropiate.

"Zelgadisgreywords, welcome." The voice was nothing like Zelgadis had

I'm no Slayers expert, but isn't it "greywers"?
Or is this just one of those alternate-transliteration things?

A little of both. I'll fix it.

breaking his neck. That was, of course, after he drunkenly stripped
every noble in Brodaboon of their noble status because he thought they
were invaders from 'beyond the stars'."

Let me guess.  He's going to turn out to have been right about
that?

Sort of. His geography was never the best.

Hope all this is useful...

C&C always is.

-Steve "Komodo" T.
http://www.geocities.com/studio_pc_hub/



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