Subject: [FFML] Re: [BGC][XO] Drunkard's Walk II: Chapter 15 (Part 1)
From: "David McMillan" <SkyeFire@aol.com>
Date: 3/18/2004, 5:05 PM
To: "Bob Schroeck" <rms@eclipse.net>
CC: "Fanfic Mailing List" <ffml@anifics.com>, "BGC Fanfic Mailing List" <bgc-ffml@ravensgarage.com>
Reply-to:
skyefire@aol.com




Bob Schroeck wrote on 3/16/2004, 9:47 PM:

 > David McMillan wrote:
 > >     Look!  On the FFML!  It's a spam!  No, it's a fic!  No, it's...
 > C&C MAN!
 >
 > Strange visitor from another system, with powers and abilities
 > far beyond those of fictional characters...

    <blink>

 > Okay, I think we've got the idea.  <grin>

    Ooog.  I didn't mean it to come out that way...

 > >     Ooooh, Doug, I *knew* you were buying trouble.  The
 > "fat-bottomed" song
 > > was bad enough, but screwing with Sylia's mind?  Karma's a bitch,
 > buddy.
 > >   And I have to say you at least partially deserve this.
 >
 > And everyone said Doug was getting away with humiliating the Sabers
 > in the manner of a standard SI.  If it weren't for Lisa shaming them
 > into it, they wouldn't've lifted a finger to help him after chapters
 > 11 and 12...

    Nah, if Doug were a "standard" SI, he wouldn't have been so obviously 
*wrong* for so long.  A bad SI would have been just as insufferable, but 
turned out to be right in the end.

 > >  > "I thought you were heroes!
 > >  > Isn't that what you tried to convince me of when we first met,
 > >  > Nene?"
 > >     That's hitting below the belt, Lisa.  Keep it up.
 >
 > <chuckle>  One of my prereaders, I think it was, pointed that one of
 > the core ironies in DW2 is that Nene is a soldier (mercenary) who
 > thinks of herself as a superhero, while Doug is a superhero who
 > thinks of himself as a soldier.  This is one of those places where
 > that particular irony runs very close to the surface.

    Ping!  I didn't catch that one consciously, but now that you point it 
out...

 > >  >   In the process, all I managed to figure out was
 > >  > that I wasn't in my apartment, nor in my workshop at IDEC,
 > >  > which left me wondering just where the hell I had gone to sleep
 > >  > the night before.
 > >     Daley:  "Good Mooooorning, Doug-chan!  You were wonderful..."
 >
 > <chortle>  I should have done that as an omake...  Of which I
 > have a few, btw, which I plan to post by the end of the week.

    Woo hoo!  MORE!

 > >     Geez, *everybody* calls Quincy's wardrobe pimpish.  They're
 > tight, of
 > > course, but still... how does a man in his position fail to have *any*
 > > fashion sense?
 >
 > Now that you've finished reading the chapter, can you answer this for
 > yourself? <grin>

    Yeah...

 > >  > Priss ran her fingers through the girl's golden hair.  "A mouthy
 > >  > asshole who's done a few good things, and who's gotten in a
 > >  > couple hits at GENOM," she said softly.
 > >     "No, wait, that's *me.*"
 > >     C'mon, Priss -- pot, kettle, black much?
 >
 > No, as someone else pointed out, she's not really insulting him.
 > It's more a backhanded compliment.

    Yeah, I completely failed to pick up the tone.  On the second pass, 
it's obvious.

 > >  > "We'll do it," she said quietly, and Sylia's head jerked up.
 > >  > Linna shot a look at Sylia that challenged the Saber leader to
 > >  > contradict her.
 > >     Ohhh, boy.  Linna, the "good soldier," stages a mutiny.
 >
 > <nod>  It took me a long, long time to get a handle on Linna's
 > character, but once I did, it took me here, inevitably.  Linna's
 > the most "normal" of the four, and as a result, is probably the
 > one with the closest to balanced sense of right and wrong.  As
 > the story evolved, she sort of became the Sabers' voice of
 > conscience.

    Linna has no emotional baggage attached to her "night job."  Or at 
least less than all the others.

 > >     Apparently she did.  It's nice to see that Sylia *can* get past her
 > > personal issues, when pushed.
 >
 > Mutiny it was, but it did more or less conform to the "all
 > action as a group" rule.  <grin>  Besides, Sylia had admitted
 > there was no way she could enforce the Last Rule, not any more.
 > So when Linna speaks as the Sabers' Conscience, Sylia is forced
 > to listen.

    Well, Sylia's oubviously outgrown (some of) her near-pathological need 
to control everything, in exchange for more faith and loyalty.  Of 
course, that's a two-way street....

 > >  > "I've piqued your curiosity," he said, still smiling.  "Perhaps
 > >  > the worst torture I could subject you to would be to leave you
 > >  > wondering.  But I won't do that."
 > >     If he did, there'd be a mob marching on his office with
 > pitchforks and
 > > torches.  But, Bob's office or Quincy's?  Ohh, I got a headache....
 >
 > Let me give you a hint:  I do not operate out of a plush office
 > at the top of a conical skyscraper in Japan...

    Just makes you easier to get at.  (:)

 > >  > His eyes
 > >  > grew soft and distant for a moment.  "Ah, Ursula."
 > >     Bob, you naughty boy!  Does Peggy know about this?
 >
 > Who, Mrs. Peggy Ursula Viel Schroeck?  I'm sure she has a clue... <grin>

    I suspected something like that.

 > >  > "Can we speed this up?  'Skysaber Conquers The World' is on TV
 > >  > tonight, and I don't want to miss it."
 > >     Hey, Bert!  Your public is STILL waiting.
 >
 > Nope, not Skyknight, Skysaber.  Jared Ornstead.

    <googles.  giggles>  Oh, HIM!  The "Pheonix Mage" from the Bet series. 
  Never stumbled across the "Skysaber" moniker before.

 > >     Heh.  They're getting into this mother/daughter thing in a big way,
 > > already.
 >
 > <shrug>  They both need each other.

    Oh, no, I wasn't laughing, I was approving.  And I agree.  It does seem 
like an odd match on the surface, but it works for me.

 > >  > "You know," she said almost breathlessly, "I met Grampa
 > >  > Raven, an' I got to talk to Leon, who's gonna be my daddy, an'
 > >  > they warned me 'bout Uncle Mackie, an' of course I know what
 > >  > *they* do, but nobody told me 'bout *you*."
 > >     Gotta be weird, having an adult brain in a child's body like that.
 >
 > I don't want to get into detail, but I spent a long time thinking
 > about what might be done to her mind, via brain design, to make
 > her more "appropriate" to her role.  (I came up with a lot; I
 > scare myself sometimes.)  Suffice it to say that the childlike
 > extreme of her behavior is not entirely an act.  There is a part
 > of her personality which is hardwired to be permanently an
 > innocent child, to maximize her owner's... experiences, and the
 > repeatability thereof.  There may not be anything Sylia can do
 > about that, but as long as any future encounters are consensual,
 > it shouldn't make any difference.

    I wondered if perhaps something like that was going on.  Wonder if 
Leo-A would do anything for her?
    Doug missed a trick, it would seem.  If he had discovered the 33S/C's 
existance, things might have gotten nastier...

 > Jeeze, I went into detail after all, didn't I?  Damn.

    Occupational hazard of being an obsessive backstory-writing worldbuilder.

 > >  > "You're like their librarian?"  The girl's eyes were wide but
 > >  > filled with a knowing playfulness.
 > >     Okay, so it's an act.  But she had her childhood stolen from her
 > -- let
 > > her get as much back as she can.
 >
 > There is that, too.  As someone in my discussion forum said, once
 > there are no automatic bad consequences to being a child, she's
 > comfortable being a child.

    Heck, humans who've had their childhoods taken from them do it too. 
Why *not* a boomer?

 > >  > Yeah, with all the available timelines spread
 > >  > across the face of the multiverse, just about every throw of the
 > >  > quantum dice should be found, if you searched long enough.  But
 > >  > the odds of me finding this kind of warped image of home?  I
 > >  > couldn't even begin to figure it.
 > >     Yeah, but *is* this just a reflection?  Or *is* there some kind of
 > > causal relationship?  I bet *that* question is gonna keep Doug up,
 > nights.
 >
 > He won't get a good answer until Ed Becerra and I complete
 > Drunkard's Walk 10...

    So what are doing sitting there answering C&C?  Get writing!  Your 
r/a/b/i/d/ c/r/a/c/k/ w/e/a/s/l/e/s/ adoring public awaits!

 > >     So now we know the truth.  It was *Mrs* Shroeck who kept Bob from
 > > embarking on a plan of world domination.  Instead, he writes fiction
 > > about his various interdimensional alter egos.  (:)
 >
 > Peggy thanks you for your high estimation of her abilities.
 > <grin>

    Just looking at the earliest divergence point, ma'am.  (:)

 > >  > Arcanum, whom you never truly defeated, only delayed
 > >  > and inconvenienced."  He paused for effect.  "I am observing
 > >  > *his* forms.*
 > >  > This was madness, utter madness.
 > >     Yes... but it's also downright *brilliant,* in a twisty sort of
 > way.
 >
 > Thank you.  I try.  I've spent six years getting inside Quincy's
 > head...

    Oooooookaaaaayyyyyy.... <backs away slowly>

 > <chuckle>  You know, I'm surprised that no one commented on the
 > irony in the next line:
 >
 > >  > I snorted at this.  "Hey, buddy, I'm no more fictional than *you*
 > >  > are!"
 >
 > I mean, there are several levels of joke here...

    True enough.  I guess I was sufficiently "into" it that the additional 
levels slid past me...

 > >  > Off to my right, I heard a gasp from Madigan.  Then, in a moment
 > >  > of pregnant calm, the sound of rustling fabric reached my ears.
 > >     Yeah, Kate.  You finally have someone you actually care about in
 > > Quincy's line of fire.
 > >     Which side *are* you on?
 >
 > No, as someone else pointed out, Kate doesn't know (yet) that Lisa
 > is "Sailor (?)oon".  But the mystery senshi is the core around
 > which her own personal rebirth and growing moral sense are centered,
 > and a threat to her is a threat to Madigan on several levels.

    Blarg.  You are, of course, correct.  I *think* I was peripherally 
aware of that when I wrote that out, but I definitely wasn't properly 
partitoning what Kate knew from what *I* knew.
    It's still somebody important to Kate, but less personally and more 
symbolically.

 > >  > "She bailed on you, dude," I announced, openly laughing at the
 > >  > old man as he gaped at me.  "I think she got a better offer."  I
 > >     Yeah, like her soul back.
 >
 > I take it you have the Dilbert desk calendar for this year, too,
 > then?  <grin>

    Nope.  Not a clue.  Now I'm going to have to go looking to see what 
you're referring to.

 > >  > "Not much of a comedian now, are you, boy?" Quincy asked in a
 > >  > low, gravelly tone.  "No quip, no clever quote?  No, I suppose
 > >  > not."
 > >     "Hey, you should hear my internal monologue..."
 >
 > "You're internally soliliquizing, aren't you?"
 >
 > Wait, no, Kachiko Tendo isn't here.  <grin>

    Just a bit of FFML synchronicity.

 > >  > He had all the aura of a rock.
 > >     Or a hard place.
 >
 > <rimshot>

    Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.
    
 > >     "I am Quincy, the great and terrible.  Er, pay no attention to
 > that man
 > > behind the comlink..."
 >
 > Would you believe that in one of the earlier drafts of this scene
 > I actually used a close variation on that line?

    There are few things I'd put past you, Qui-- I mean, Bob.

 > >  > "Eeeww.  That's just too creepy!" one of the boomers next to me
 > >  > declared.
 > >     Nene.
 >
 > Bingo.
 >
 > >     Ew. Hope it didn't bring along junk.  That floor is pretty messy.
 >
 > Nah, the song cleaned it all up.

    I thought not.  But it's still eew.

 > >  > "What for you say you boomer when you got little pink armor like
 > >  > Saber, Saber?" I said in my best Tasmanian Devil voice.  Which
 > >  > was helped considerably by how raspy my voice still was at that
 > >  > point.
 > >     Recognized her just by speech patterns, huh?
 >
 > Why not?  *You* just did.  <grin>

    Well, yeah, but I'm smarter than Doug.  After all, I am <echo> C&C 
MAAAANNNN!!!! </echo>
    What?  *What?*

 > >     Reference, please!
 >
 > "The Arbiter's Song" from the musical "Chess."  This is listed
 > in the credits for the story (the long part after "Fin" at the
 > end).

    Oh, sure, but that's in Part 2, and I haven't READ that yet.

 > >  > (Continued in Part 2)
 > >     Yiii... C&C power... fading.  Must... keep... going.....
 >
 > Thanks for all this effort!  Can't wait to see what you have
 > to say for the rest.

    Check your inbox.  (:)

    And, just for a silly bit of "fight-thread" style sillyness:
Q: What happens if Doug runs into someone with the GURPS Mundane Advantage?
A: I dunno, but I'd love to watch froma safe distance.  Say, Alpha Centauri.

-- "Agent Mulder? My name is Neo. Can we talk?"
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