Nodoka looked over the demon girl. She had been cleared by Command and
turned by her son. It was strange but what part of her life was not? She then
smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you. Please come in. I apologize for the
mess, but I just moved in," Nodoka then turned to see a woman bounding over
too her.

woman bounding over <to> her.

Only error I've seen so far, but then I'm enjoying this chapter so I may have
missed things. I'm really liking how you're taking the Nariko, daughter thing.
I needed an upper in this story.

Ranma's head was down and she could feel her eyes beginning to tear up. She
had maintained kept her emotions in check for so long, only to lose control
now.

   It looks like you were trying to word this two different ways, suggest just
removing, maintained, and it would work fine.

Nodoka put her hand on her child's shoulder. "What's important is that you
came around now, and you're giving her the love she needs now.

the love she needs. The 'now' at the end of the sentence is superflueous
seeing as you used the word earlier in the sentence.

Nariko looked at the empty space by her mother's left side. It would be a
tight fit, but she did not mind. She then climbed into the bed and snuggled
next to her mother. Sunshine's form then shimmered and she became naked. The
three demonesses laid there, blanketing each other with mutual reassurance.

Somehow, Sunshine knew sleeping as a family would help... and the waves of
warmth and love from her children told her why.

This is definately not going in a direction I expected, and I heartily
apprieciate that. Also, about this scene: despite its weirdness, all I have to
say beyond what I've already said it, awwwww. :)

Stillwater nodded in consideration.

"Now please turn off that monitor. Give them some privacy. You can always
review the archives later," Jacob stated respectfully. Those three demonesses
might not have a problem with nudity but the agent still had his sense of
decency.  Given some of the things he had done for the Company, it was a
strange for him to have a sense of modesty like that, but Jacob held onto
what he could.

   You know, you just keep turning things upsidedown on me. I keep thinking
one thing, then you throw something like this in, and I have to re-evaluate my
opinion of the Company, and the people within it. I'm still afraid of what
they intend to do, but it's so murky that I have not idea which way to turn,
mentally speaking.

Her last conscious thoughts were of Akane... and her new child's fate. Would
she be like Nariko? Or... would she be able to help the new demon back to
being Akane, or as close as she could be considering her daughter's new body,
and its needs?

We can hope.

The sound of bare feet on flooring interrupted Sunshine's thoughts as a
yellow blur flew into her field of vision. "We did it, Mom. We did it!"

Sunshine looked down into her daughters eyes and saw intellect, happiness,
but most of all... Akane.

*me prays for this eventuality, or its like.*

Sunshine awoke to a pillow wet with her own tears. Her children still
enclosed her with warmth. She realized that this was the choice she would
make. No, this was the choice she had already made. To stay Ranma, and true

to

himself, she had to become Sunshine and embrace her life... and make it his.

Later, Sunshine would reluctantly untangled herself from her children to
visit the bathroom. She glanced at the mirror while washing her hands. Though
the reflected demoness' eyes now were almost a quarter violet flecks, she was
neither surprised nor concerned.

   I'm glad you brought her/him some peace, for however long it lasts. Thus
far in this chapter you've shown the ability to bring out hope, I just hope
that said hope, is not betrayed in the long run.

As he refilled his customer's glass, the bartender surprised a sigh. That
made sense; there was something of a flimflam man to him. Charming and
smooth, chicanery was undoubtedly this fellow's forte.

"All I wanted was to be the man behind the woman behind the queen, and now
I'm going to pay for it. It's a damn good thing I have a backup plan."

   Now this, is confusing, and possibly frightening, I'm not sure yet. At any
rate, thank you for a wonderful read, and if Kevin is reading this, thanks to
you as well helping to get this rolling, and Mike Koos for the assist. :)

--
Druid
druid@ispwest.com



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