Amazing. I suddenly have a twelve-hour work shift where I'm
essentially prohibited from doing anything. Now maybe I can get some
C&C done!
DB Sommer wrote on 3/9/2004, 12:25 AM:
>
>
> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> Ranma and Kachiko were laughing so hard they had to keep leaning on each
> other for support. Passersby gave them a wide berth, most thinking the
> two
> were drunk by their incoherent laughter and swaying as they made their
> way
> down the street.
Sug: "drunk, judging by their"
> "God, that was the most pathetic thing I've ever seen!" Kachiko laughed
> hard.
>
> "Got that right. We ought to go back. I'm sure we missed half the
> movie with
> how hard we were laughing."
>
> "Then we can make fun of that stuff, too." Kachiko wailed in laughter
> again.
"again" here and on the next line.
> As Kachiko leaned against him again,
Sug: "helplessly" or "limply" or something.
> Ranma had to admit, going to the
> horrible movie had turned into an entertaining experience. Not that the
> movie was any good, it was every bit as painfully bad as Ranma had
> expected,
> but Kachiko had found it as equally unlikable, and was vocal about it.
> Ranma
I'd lose the "as"
> began agreeing with her, and the two ended up competing at who could
mock
> the movie best. Their contest had made for a lot of angry stares by the
> other patrons of the film, mostly girls, but both he and Kachiko had too
> much fun to care what a bunch of shoujo fangirls thought.
Look! It's MST3&1/2K!
> The two regained some measure of control as they made their way toward
> the
> restaurant. Both were smiling, enjoying the afterglow of the movie.
>
> "What time is our reservation for?"
>
> The sun had gone down. Ranma had to move under a streetlight to read his
> watch. "Hmm. We're running a little late. Why don't we cut through the
> park?" He pointed to a walkway that led into the park, though it was
> quickly
> obscured by the trees lining the path.
Danger, Ranma Saotome! Danger! Danger!
> Kachiko tensed up slightly. "You want to take me through the park at
this
> time of night?"
>
> "Why not?" Ranma asked innocently.
"After all, if there's anyone good anough to mug you, *I'll*
take care
of 'em!"
> After a moment of consideration, Kachiko chuckled. "Yeah, knowing you,
> you
> probably don't have a clue."
>
> "Clue to what?"
'nuff said.
> They had only made their way a short distance through the park when
> Ranma's
> senses went on alert. He could feel the presence of people off the path
> hidden out of sight, a sure sign of trouble. So they had wandered
into an
> ambush.
Somehow, I don't think that's an ambush....
>Kachiko's suspicions were on target. He tensed up, waiting for
> someone to make the first move. While he was sure Kachiko could take
> care of
> herself, they were on a date, and it was his duty to protect her from
any
> harm. It was the manly thing to do. Besides, if he let Kachiko do it,
> she'd
> brag about how she protected him, and that wouldn't do at all.
And that was the *really* important thing.
> They continued walking, Ranma wondering when the ambush would be
> tripped. He
> was beginning to think the group was too scared to move when he heard a
> rustling sound come from a set of bushes a small distance away. It was
> followed by a woman's gasp. So, they had already found a victim.
Naivete, thy name is Ranma.
> "Stay here, I'll take care of this," Ranma told Kachiko and moved
> toward the
> bushes.
>
> Kachiko froze for a second, startled at his declaration. By the time she
> came out of it, he was already halfway there. "Wait, Ranma, I don't
think
> you want to do that!"
I *know* he doesn't. But do characters ever listen to their
C&Cers?
Noooooooooooo!
> It was too late as he leaped over the bushes and said, "Hey, you
> creep! What
> are you doing to that girl? Get off her."
>
> There was the brief sound of a struggle, then a girl's voice screech,
> "Let
> go of my boyfriend!" followed by a slap.
>
> More slowly this time, Ranma walked out from the bushes, a red
> handprint on
> his cheek.
That actually went surprisingly well.
> "I told you you didn't want to do that," Kachiko teased in a sing-song
> voice.
>
> "How was I to know the park's a place to do perverted stuff at night?"
> Ranma
> grumbled.
Happousai: "I"ve been *Trying* to teach you. But would you
listen?
Nooooooooo..."
> "I assumed that was why you wanted to come out here with me. I figured
> you
> were overcome with lust." Kachiko posed sexily for him.
>
> "I don't want to do anything perverted with you," Ranma said gruffly
> as he
> continued on through the park.
<snerk> You know, that's one of those lines that dooms you, no
matter
how the woman feels. They always hear the emphsasis as being on "you."
> Kachiko sniffed disdainfully. "You don't have to be so vehement about
> it."
> Her ire disappeared as quickly as it came, and she began following him
> once
> again.
>
> Walking hurriedly, the two left the park and emerged close to the
> restaurant
> Ranma had made the reservations at. Once free from the uncomfortable
> environment of the perverted playground the park transformed into at
> night,
Look, Ma! Alliteration!
> Ranma relaxed a little, though not completely. He had interrupted the
> couple
> in very intimate moment, with the girl in a compromising position. For
> some
> bizarre reason, since that encounter, he felt strange when he looked at
> Kachiko. A part of him wished he could end the date now and escape the
> cause
> of his reaction, while another part was reluctant to do so.
Good grief! He IS normal!
> It mattered little. He had promised to go out on a date, and Kachiko
> wanted
> to be here with him. He would live up to his obligation, and be done
> with it
> and never date her again, even if they were having a good time
> together. It
> just made things too complicated.
Yeah. That'll last.
> They entered the restaurant, pleased to see no line. Ranma walked up
> to the
> podium that the maitre'd stood behind. "A have a reservation at 8:30 for
> Saotome."
"A have"? Southern-fried Ranma?
> "I'll need your reservation number," the man said with an air of
> superiority
> that rubbed Ranma wrong.
"rubbed Ranma wrong" is nicely alliterative, but seems a bit
abreviated. Maybe "the wrong way."?
> Ranma thought the whole reservation number thing was stupid, but the
> person
> that had taken his reservation insisted he needed one. He went into his
Sug: "reached"
> pocket and pulled out what he thought was the folded over note and
> showed it
> to the man.
uh oh.
> "Getting lucky tonight, are we, Sir?" the maitre'd said drolly.
>
> Ranma stared in horror at the condom in his hand. He couldn't
> understand why
> Kachiko hadn't already slapped him for its presence. Cringing, he
> looked and
> noted her head was turned away as she examined one of the nearby
> paintings.
> However, it was turning back toward him.
Cue slo-mo! Cue "Jaws" music!
"C'mon, Ryouga, this is when I need you to show up. Ryouga?
Mousse?
Herb? Saffron? Happousai? ANYBODY?!?!?!?"
> Lightning fast he thrust the item back in his pocket.
Not sure I like "Lightning fast." Maybe "quick as lightning"?
> Kachiko stared at him curiously. "What was-"
>
> Thinking fast, Ranma snapped at the maitre'd, "How dare you imply my
> date is
> a loose woman!"
Brilliant. Who are you, and what have you done with Ranma?
Just as an alternative: ...Ranma turned on the maitre'd. "How..."
> The maitre'd was taken aback. "I'm sorry but I just assumed by your co-"
>
> Ranma reached forward and snared the man by the collar, dragging him
> halfway
> over the podium. "I demand you apologize to her for your unforgivable
> remark."
Maybe an exclamation point?
Good save.
> "Yeah, apologize for saying I'm sleazy," Kachiko seconded.
She has NO idea what's going on, but she's sure willing to hop
on the
train in passing.
> The maitre'd babbled, "But I-"
>
> "What's going on here?" A large man dressed in formal attire, who had
> come
> from a nearby discussion with two waiters, demanded as the argument had
> drawn his attention.
"...here?" a large...
> The maitre'd paled. "Sir, I can explain. I asked for this man's
> reservation
> number and he flashed me-"
"How dare you call me a flasher!" POW!
> "He called my date a tramp!" Ranma interjected. "I demand an apology."
I actually feel a little sorry for the maitre'd here. Of
course, he
shouldn't have been snooty in the first place.
> "So do I," Kachiko seconded.
>
> "I see." The manager grabbed the maitre'd by the scruff of the neck.
> "Back
> to the kitchens and scrubbing for you, Kanzaki." To Ranma and Kachiko he
> said, "Please forgive his impertinence, he's my wife's brother. I'll
> see to
> it you receive a bottle of wine, compliments of the house, in apology."
>
> "Offering free booze is always the best form of apology," Kachiko said
> enthusiastically. She looped her arm through Ranma's. "I must say,
Ranma,
> that was very noble of you to get so outraged and stick up for me like
> that.
> I am impressed."
Karmic backlash... building.
> "Ah, thanks." Ranma gave a nervous laugh. That had been a close one. He
> wondered how many more he'd have before the date was over.
Ranma saves himself from a social faux pas by *talking.* This
means
there's a major karmic backlash a'comin'.
> xxxxxxxxxxx
>
> "Yes, alcohol makes everything better," Kachiko slurred slightly as she
> drained her glass for the sixth time in a half hour and set it back
> down on
> the table.
Uh oh.
> "Ah, maybe you should slow down," Ranma said hesitantly.
>
> "Most guys want to get their dates drunk," Kachiko said slyly.
>
> "I'm not like most guys," Ranma stated with a touch of indignity.
>
> "Too true, too true. You're a perfect gentleman," Kachiko agreed.
"Why, I
> bet if I was to give you a lap dance, you wouldn't try a thing. Want
> to find
> out?" She started to rise out of her chair.
"Okay, Ryouga, NOW would be a good time!"
> "No!" Ranma said quickly.
>
> Kachiko frowned. "You said that awful quick, like you didn't even think
> about it. Don't be so uptight. We did see each other naked, after all."
>
> Her slightly loud voice, as well as the topic, was attracting a great
> deal
> of unwanted attention. "It was an accident. I didn't mean to do it,"
> Ranma
> explained as much to the other patrons as to her.
<snerk>
> "I know, I know, that's why I don't give you a hard time about it,"
> Kachiko
> said. "That's one of the things I like about you. You let the gal set
the
> pace. It's neat to meet a guy that wants to do that." Her voice then
> dropped. "Who knows, keep making all the rights moves like you have been
> tonight, and you might manage a double."
>
> Ranma was about to protest when Kachiko slouched in her chair. He
> couldn't
> understand what was going on until he felt a bare toe rub itself up
> and down
> a leg.
whose leg?
> Then there was a thud as Kachiko fell out of her chair. All Ranma
> could see
> of her was the top of her head.
>
> "My chair moved," she said from the floor.
Manager: "I'm sorry, we just waxed the floor."
> "Maybe you'd better cut back until the food arrives," Ranma suggested as
> politely as he could.
>
> "Probably," Kachiko agreed as she set her chair back up and sat down
> properly in it once again. "I usually don't get giddy like this unless
> I'm
> having a good time."
Hint hint.
> "That's nice to know," Ranma said weakly, hoping the food would arrive
> soon
> so they could stop with the conversation that was becoming increasingly
> uncomfortable.
>
> Kachiko leaned forward over the table, then curled her finger,
indicating
> Ranma should do the same. Reluctant to do so, but felt not doing it
would
...but feeling that...
> result in something worse happening, Ranma answered the beckoning digit.
>
> He leaned forward. "Yes?"
>
> Kachiko whispered, "I'll let you in on a secret. You're doing so good,
> you've now got the inside line on Tachi-kun."
>
> Ranma started to smirk. He was distracted enough that he didn't react
> before
> Kachiko brought her face closer and gave him a peck on the cheek.
Nosebleed, Ranma Saotome! Nosebleed, Nosebleed!
> She retreated back to her seat before he could offer a word of protest.
> "Relax, I won't try for more than first base. I can tell I'm not the
only
> one who wants to take things really slow."
If Really=Dead, yeah.
> Ranma blushed furiously, unsure of what to say. Before he could
formulate
> anything, Kachiko rose to her feet. "I have to use the ladies' room,
> which
> means the food should arrive the instant I'm out of sight."
>
> Ranma felt grateful for the reprieve. He sat back in his chair.
>
> As Kachiko began to pass by him, she leaned forward and whispered, "By
> the
> way, you're awful cute when you blush." Then left before he could say
> anything again.
Turnabout.
> Ranma remained in his chair, too flustered to decide if the date was the
> worst he had ever been on, or the best.
Sug: "if this date"
> "Staying at home is definitely a lot less stressful." He drained a
> glass of
> wine himself as he tried to figure out which it was.
Amen, brother.
> endearing, as well as distracting, traits. There were times when the
> frustration of trying to anticipate his reaction was so bad she would
> just
> as soon be done with him save for one problem.
>
> She really liked it when he called her cute.
Yep, she's Akane's mother, all right.
> "Idiot," she muttered under her breath.
>
> "I agree. Let's leave this loser so you can take up with a real man
> instead
> of the weenie fem-boy."
Huh? Yak-boy? What hole did YOU crawl out of?
> Kachiko gasped as the sickening image of Tarou had appeared in the
> mirror,
I'd drop the "had"
> directly behind her. Apparently she had been so caught him in thinking
> about
"caught up in thinking"
> Ranma she had failed to notice the Chinese youth enter.
>
> She turned in anger upon him. "Look, you creep, at least Ranma isn't so
> sexually confused he'd enter a ladies room, and that's saying a lot
> since he
> turns into a girl. So why don't you make like a leaf and leave?"
She hasn't read "Girl Days."
And that was BAD.
> Tarou cringed. "That was just awful. We're really going to have to do
> something about that sense of humor of yours if there's going to be
> anything
> between us."
Other than about three feet of armor plate, you mean?
> "Ranma appreciates my sense of humor, and there's nothing between us!"
> While
> the former was a lie, there was no need for Tarou to know it. And the
> latter
> was definitely true.
In vino, veritas? Oh, nothing between her and Tarou! I thought
she
was talking about Ranma.
> "Yes, well about that nothing between us bit." Tarou held up his left
> hand
> far out to his side and wiggled his fingers.
>
> Kachiko looked at them in confusion. "What the hell is that supposed
to-"
"A distraction."
> The rest was cut off as a hard right met Kachiko between the eyes. She
> teetered back, stunned. She was mentally scolding herself for falling
for
> such an obvious ploy when a second blow knocked her unconscious.
>
> "Let's work on that, shall we?" Tarou hefted her unconscious form over
> his
> shoulder and exited the restroom.
One of his springs must have inlcluded Drowned Neanderthal.
> xxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> Ranma began to worry over how long it was taking Kachiko to use the
> restroom. A dozen different disaster scenarios ran through his mind,
from
> her passing out to being abducted.
Sug: "ranging from a simple fainting spell up through abduction."
> "Nah, I'm being silly," Ranma decided as he looked over his shoulder
> just in
> time to see Tarou head through the swinging doors to the kitchen with
> Kachiko slung over his shoulder.
"Okay, no I'm not."
> Ranma sighed. "It's never the easy way, is it?" At least he wouldn't
> have to
> worry about what Kachiko was going to try to do to him next. It was
> almost a
> relief that Tarou had ended things predictably.
<snerk>
> Ranma jumped out of his seat and ran toward the doors. He burst through
> them, knocking a waiter over as raced into the kitchen, looking for
> any sign
> of Tarou and his burden. He caught sight of his prey exiting through the
> back of the kitchen. Under different circumstances, catching up to Tarou
> would have been difficult, the creep was nearly as fast as Ranma, but
> with
> him lugging around Kachiko he'd be slowed down. Running him down would
> take
> a matter of moments.
That seemed a tad clunky in the middle.
> Despite being out of sight, it was easy to follow Tarou's trail by the
> number of fallen, irate people he left in his wake. Ranma burst out
> the rear
> doors to the restaurant and emerged into an alleyway. One end of it
> resulted
> in a dead end. He turned to look the other way, but there was no sign of
> Tarou there either, and given how far back the door was to the street,
> there
> was no way he could have run fast enough to get out of sight.
>
> Then Ranma looked up.
>
> "Shit!" he cursed under his breath as he saw Tarou's cursed form
> flying off
> with Kachiko cradled in his arms. He had forgotten that little detail.
That's a heck of a thing to forget.
> Suddenly the stakes went up, as the odds of Tarou kidnapping Kachiko
> successfully increased. And unlike the time Pantyhose had abducted
The odds were successful at increascing?
>Akane,
> this time Kachiko was the prize Tarou wanted. It was up to Ranma to
catch
> Tarou and keep him from doing whatever terrible things he had planned
for
> the girl he wanted so badly.
Yeah, he's going to make her listen to his homemade demo tape of
him
yodelling until her ears bleed.
> xxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> Deckhand Yoji Kimura watched as the last of the cargo was dropped in the
> hold by the crane. The men below decks released the hooks, allowing the
> cable that had been supporting the cargo to retract. Once finished, Yoji
> began to close the hatches.
>
> Just as Yoji finished bolting the last one into place, a huge form
landed
> next to him on the deck of the freighter. He looked up at the bizarre
> collection of mismatched animal parts staring down at him from above.
The
> creature carried a girl fast asleep in his arms.
>
> Yoji pulled out his radio and said, "Captain, a large beastie just
> landed on
> our deck."
Beastie? What is this guy, a Japanese Scot?
Yoji: "Weeel, laddie-san, it be like this. When the Wild Geese
were
leaving Scotland after Bonnie Prince Charlie's leetle cross-dressing
escapade, me sainted great-obasan's navigator was a sassenach named
Hibiki. They were sailing for Eire, y'see, but ended up somehow in
Hokkaido...."
> The radio crackled in response, "It's probably a dock inspector. Just
> bribe
> him to look the other way."
Dock inspectors are large beasties? Okay, I can see that.
> The creature thrust a piece of paper in Yoji's direction. He looked it
> over.
> "Actually, he has a passenger ticket."
>
> The radio crackled a second time. "Even better, a paying customer.
> Show him
> where the passenger berths are."
>
> "He has an unconscious girl in his arms, though."
>
> "Don't go prying into other people's affairs. I'm sure there's a
> reasonable
> explanation for it."
"As long as there aren't any Immoral Porpoises involved."
> "He's abducting her?"
>
> "That sounds reasonable. Now show him to his room." The radio went dead.
Gotta love working with professionals.
> Yoji shrugged. He wasn't captain. If anything bad came of this, it
> wouldn't
> be on his head.
> It took her a moment to collect her muddled thoughts. What was the last
> thing she remembered? Ranma, the whip cream and... no, wait, that was
the
> dream she had before awakening. No way was he that inventive with an ice
> cream scooper and hazelnuts. It was something else. She had gone to
O_o
the
> bathroom, pondering the dilemma 'Mr. You Look Cute' presented her with
> when
> her ruminations had been interrupted by....
>
> "Hey, Babe. Nice to see you awake."
>
> The voice had come from the direction directly above her prone form. She
> turned to look up and snarled, "So it's you, Bull-butt. You sick
pervert.
> You've tied me up so you can do twisted sexual things to me."
>
> "You're into that sort of thing?"
>
> "No way!"
>
> Tarou breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. As much as I love you, I'm not
> into
> bondage or kinky stuff like that. If you were, I'd have to rethink our
> relationship."
She had a real opportunity there to get rid of Tarou. Of
course, the
problem with that approach is that he might heave decided he loves her
enough to rise to the challenge....
> "We don't have a relationship!"
>
> Tarou snickered. "Sure we do. It's love/hate right now, but it'll change
> over time, like all the cool romances do. There's the usual time
> period of
> denial on one or two of the people's parts. Then after we've shared some
> bonding experiences and stuff, we'll grow closer after our trials and
> tribulations and eventually proclaim our love for one another. That's
> what
> makes cool romances like that worthwhile."
...this guy reads Victorian bodice-ripper romances, doesn't he?
> "That's a load of crap," she retorted, then took in her surroundings.
> Oddly,
> the ceiling had a number of metal crossbeams above her head. The
metal of
> the floor felt cold, and she swore she could hear water lapping against
> something. Even the room seemed to have an odd sway to it. "Where are
> we?"
>
> "On a cargo ship destined for Tasmania. I have you stored in the back
> toward
Sug: "bound" for "destined"
> Xxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> "Where is she? You'd better cough Kachi up, or you'll be sorry!" Ranma
> bellowed out to the rough looking men lining the deck of the ship.
I'd dro the "out"
> Although
> he had lost sight of Tarou, it was right around here. He knew this was
> the
> place the jerk had to have landed. It was the only ship in the area, and
> from the looks of the crew, they were preparing to leave the harbor.
>
> Yoji stopped directing the crane, which had picked up the last of their
> cargo, a fifteen by fifteen foot box container suspended above the
> deck, and
Yoji was battening down hatches after "the last of the cargo" was
loaded when Tarou landed.
Also, International Standard Shipping Containers have different
dimensions, somewhat smaller than a rail freight car. Not that that's
important....
> moved to the front of the pack of irate crewmen. He brandished a crowbar
> menacingly in hand. "Now see here, kid. We don't like people coming
> onto our
> ship and making demands, at least if they aren't fifteen feet tall and
> look
> like a bull with wings. So why don't you shove off, or we'll make you
> sorry." He poked Ranma in the chest with the crowbar.
>
> Ranma poked him in the chest with a fist, which was actually closer to a
> punch. It knocked Yoji down to the deck, the crowbar sent flying out
> of his
> hand and landing on the deck with a clang.
Verb mismatch active/passive. Sug: "...deck and sent the
crowbar..."
> That served as a signal for the rest of the crewmen to descend on Ranma,
> trying to gang tackle him all at once.
>
> Ranma finished the dozen large men off in under a minute.
He's slipping.
Oh, wait. You didn't say *how far* under a minute. Very good,
carry on.
> As the last, and largest man, went crashing unconscious to the deck, the
I'd drop the first two commas.
> sound of clapping filled the air. Ranma turned to see Tarou relaxing
> lazily
> against the forecastle of the ship.
>
> "Looks like you're all warmed up. Ready for the main event?" Tarou
> dramatically cracked his knuckles again, since Ranma hadn't had the
> benefit
> of hearing him do it earlier.
<eyeroll>
> Ranma stepped menacingly toward Tarou. "I can't believe you're sick
> enough
> to kidnap Kachi and try taking her away on a ship so you can have your
> way
> with her."
>
> Tarou looked aghast at the accusation. "I am going to do no such thing."
And what makes this *really* funny is that he's being honest.
> "Then why'd you kidnap her and come here?"
>
> Tarou smirked. "I was saving her life. After all, anyone hanging out
with
> you would die from terminal boredom. Right now she's lively and
> vibrant, but
> there's to telling how boring she'll get if she spends time with you.
NO telling.
You
> are a pansy assed weenie boy, after all."
>
> "I am not!"
>
> Tarou continued. "And I have no intention of having my way with her. I'm
> simply taking her on a cruise with just the two of us so we can have
some
> privacy without any distractions and get to know what each other's like.
Something about that grammatical construction doesn't quite
gel. OTOH,
this *is* Tarou....
> And, you know, fall in love and everything. But that comes after we
spend
> some time with one another."
>
> Ranma scoffed. "Yeah, like that will ever happen. She doesn't even like
> you."
>
> Tarou gained a crafty smile. "Oh, from what I understand, most of the
> girls
> that are currently after you started off disliking you for one reason or
> another."
The heck of it is, he's got a point.
Ranma: "But your *approach* is all wrong! I didn't *force*
them to go
anywhere with me, I just kept letting them beat me up until their closet
masochistic tendencies converted their hatred into... wait a minute...."
> Ranma became flustered. He came up with, "Kodachi didn't."
Nice comeback. Not.
> "I thought you had some kind of gymnastics competition with her."
>
> "That's only because she doesn't know about my curse, but she started
off
> liking me as a guy within seconds of the first time we met."
>
> "Whatever," Tarou said, "The point is, most relationships start out a
> little
...said. "The..."
> testy, but as the couple gets to know one another, feelings blossom
> and the
> two fall in love. I'm just following the usual tried and true course."
And the Akane/Ranma parallel flies right past Ranma...
> "I don't care what you think. You're giving her back." Ranma was near
> enough
> to try a leap kick at Tarou. Despite his lackadaisical pose, the older
> boy
> was ready and leaped over the attack, tucking into a ball then coming
> out of
> it to land gracefully on one foot.
>
> "I don't know why you're trying so hard to woo her. You aren't anywhere
> near man enough to tame a wild girl like Kachi. You're hopelessly
> outclassed," Tarou spat contemptuously.
>
> "I can tame her if I want!" Ranma jumped down to land next to Tarou,
That one ranks pretty high on the "stupid things to say" list.
> ducking
> several of the blows unleashed at him as he landed. Ranma saw an
> opening and
> punched Tarou in the gut. The older boy was quick to retaliate with a
> kick
> to Ranma's midsection, both driving him back and winding him enough
> that he
> couldn't follow up with another attack.
>
> Tarou sneered. "Get real. You wouldn't know what to do with a woman if
> she
> stripped naked and began bouncing on your lap, Fem-boy." Tarou went
for a
> three punch combination.
Happousai: "I've been TRYING!"
> Ranma blocked the first two and dodged out of the way of the third blow.
> "This from the guy that runs away when girls ask him his name."
>
> For the first time since the fight began Tarou became angry. "It's
not my
> fault I can't stand my name. Besides, I don't care if Kachi calls me
> by it.
> It's obviously a sign of true love, so quit interfering." Tarou tried to
> attack Ranma again.
Man, he really does have it bad.
> Ranma blocked the incoming blow and retaliated with a palm strike that
> connected solidly with Tarou's chin, making his teeth snap together
> with an
> audible clack. Ranma was quick to press the advantage with a series of
> punches and kicks that struck Tarou fully in several areas of his body.
Sug: "squarely" for "fully"
> Backing off for a second, it was Ranma's turn to smirk. "Looks like
> you've
> lost a step. Ready to tell me where Kachi is? If you haven't done
> anything
> to her, I'll go easy on you, sort of."
>
> Growling, Tarou pulled a small half foot piece of rounded wood from
That'd be ~15cm,yes? (:)
>the
> inside of his vest. "Hey, Fem-boy, want to see a new trick?"
>
> Ranma tensed up. There was a good fifteen feet separating him and
> Tarou, so
> he should have time to react to anything the guy had planned with the
> short
> stick.
Which, of course, means that....
> Tarou held it out perpendicular to Ranma's body. The end pointing at
> Ranma
> suddenly telescoped in length, striking him in the gut, and sending him
> flying into the forecastle hard enough to buckle the metal.
>
> The stick shrank down to regular staff size. Tarou began twirling it
> around.
> "I got this off some crappy fire breathing martial arts monk that was
> flying
> around on a silly cloud. It's kind of neat, though. Want to see what
> else it
> can do?"
The *original* Son Goku.
> "Not really," Ranma said as he picked himself up.
>
> Tarou proved the question rhetorical as he closed the distance between
> them
> in an instant and lashed out at Ranma with the staff. Ranma leaped
out of
> the way again just as the staff struck where he had been a moment
> before. He
> saw a gout of flame shoot out from the end of the staff just as it
> impacted
> with the metal. The force of the impact dented the metal and created a
> sizable hole in the plating.
>
> Tarou tried bringing the staff around again, but the end that had been
> driven into the deck was caught on the edge of the some of the debris.
> The
> second was all Ranma needed to unleash another kick to Tarou's back,
> sending
> him away again from the force of the blow.
Sug: "That momentary delay was all..."
> With the weapon freed, Tarou was quick to use the distance gained to his
> advantage as the staff extended, a small fire emanating from the tip,
and
> tried to swat Ranma. The younger martial artist was forced to give
ground
> due to the increasing length of the staff, as well as the blur it was
> in the
> hands of Tarou. The Chinese youth displayed an expertise with the weapon
> Ranma hadn't thought he possessed.
Yeah, schools for telescoping bo staffs are pretty rare, unless you
visit Babylon 5.
> A ball of energy formed between Ranma's hands again. "Moko Takabisha."
>
> "You just don't learn, Saotome." Tarou spun the staff around again.
>
> This time the ball didn't strike the staff, but rather the ship beneath
> Tarou, specifically, the hatch to the hold he was standing on. The metal
> vaporized in the blast, and Tarou fell into the huge hole and out of
> sight.
Heh.
> Ranma was quick to leap down into it. He saw that in the fall Tarou
> had lost
> his grip on the staff and it had landed a dozen feet out of reach.
> Ranma was
> quick to take advantage of the opening and tried landing with both
> feet on
> Tarou, intent on caving in his chest with the kick.
>
> Tarou recovered just in time to spin out of the way, letting Ranma
> land on
> the floor. Tarou retaliated by bringing his leg into the back of Ranma's
> knees, causing them to buckle. Both martial artists returned to their
> vertical base at the same time. Ranma connected with a right to
> Tarou's jaw,
All your vertical base are belong to us.
Sug: "regained their feet"
> but his success was short lived as the older youth jabbed several times,
> each blow snapping off in Ranma's face, temporarily stunning him.
>
> Suddenly Tarou was upon him, grappling with him. The Chinese boy
> gained the
> advantage by getting behind Ranma, gripping one of Ranma's wrists, and
> bringing the arm up under his foe's neck as he pulled back on,
> immobilizing
> the appendage while choking with it at the same time.
Mmmm... sug: "grabbed one of Ranma's wrists and pulled it back
over
his opposite shoulder, choking him with his own arm." Or something like
that.
> He swung twice at Tarou, who ducked both blows. When Ranma came around a
> third time, Tarou surprised him by moving into the next swing, arms
I'd drop "next"
> brought
> forward. The staff caught Tarou in the side of the ribs, but he
> brought an
> arm around it, trapping the weapon and pinning it to his side. With
That could work, but wouldn't it have broken his ribs in the
process?
his
> other hand, Tarou punched Ranma in the face again, forcing him to
release
> the weapon.
>
> With the staff once again in Tarou's hands, he began extending its
length
> and lashed out with it. Unlike before, when he had been aiming
> primarily at
> Ranma's body, this series of blows were aimed at Ranma's feet in an
> effort
> to break them and limit his mobility. Ranma's feet were a blur as a
dance
> began with Tarou trying to hit Ranma, but only succeeding in blowing a
> series of holes in the floor as he chased him.
Ranma Saotome's Lord of the Dance (of Battles).
Wait a minute... holes? In the deck? Um... guys...
> "You're going to get tired eventually, Fem-boy, then you're history!"
> Tarou
> threatened as he continued in his pursuit of Ranma.
>
> Ranma, who had been fighting a retreating battle since Tarou's newest
> offensive started, lunged forward with a leap toward his foe. Tarou
> reacted
> instinctively by shortening the staff and bringing it up and over his
> head,
> trying for a crushing blow that would end the contest.
>
> Ranma managed to evade the swing in mid-air, allowing the staff to
strike
> the deck with a tremendous impact. Ranma then followed through by using
> Tarou's head as a springboard and vaulting upward through the hole in
the
> hatch he had originally used to descend into the bowels of the ship.
Sug: "upward and out the hole they had entered the hold through
originally."
> Tarou raised his fist to the hole. "Running away isn't going to save
you!
Extraneous !
> Saotome. Nothing can-" His cursing was abruptly stopped as what little
> remained of the metal flooring buckled and a huge spray of seawater
> burst up
> through the hole where Tarou's last blow had landed.
Cue "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." Or maybe "32 Down on the
Robert
Mackenzie."
> Now in his cursed form. Tarou gave a bellow of rage. He had wanted the
> joy
> of dealing Ranma a resounding defeat in his human form. It would erase
> any
> doubt as to who the superior fighter was to everyone, especially
Kachiko.
> Now the pummeling would have to happen the old fashioned way, with Tarou
> using his more powerful cursed form to crush Ranma.
>
> The hold continued to fill with water as Tarou flew up to the hole. It
> was
> large enough to accommodate his massive, bovine shoulders. Now it was
his
> turn to have superior maneuverability. He wagered the fight would be
over
> within a handful of minutes. Ranma had already taken a beating, and
> even his
> best shots would do little more than faze Tarou's beastly form. One
clean
"faze" doesn't seem right, here.
> blow is all it would take for the fight to end and Tarou to have
peace of
> mind.
>
> Tarou's head had just cleared the hole when he saw Ranma forming yet
> another
> ball of energy in his hands. Tarou reflexively ducked, intent on using
> the
> hold as cover. Once the blast passed by, he'd fly up and finish Ranma
off
> for good.
>
> Tarou heard the cry of "Moko Takabisha!" once again, followed by the
> sound
> of crackling energy cutting through the air. Curiously, it didn't
> carom off
> the metal of the hold or impact with it. Apparently Saotome was so
> tired, he
> had missed completely.
Um. I think there's still a craneload suspended somewhere...
> Unleashing a gruff chuckle, Tarou looked up, intent on flying through
the
> hole and finishing the fight. Instead, all he saw was the bottom of
> something large and heavy falling toward him.
It's that expression of dawning comprehension that I live for.
> xxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> Ranma smirked as he heard the grunt of pain come from Tarou as the large
> container struck him squarely in the head. There was a loud crash as
both
> beast and container landed hard on the bottom of the ship.
Would be a splash, wouldn't it? With the hold partially filled
with water?
> Then there was the sound of more metal buckling and a geyser of water
> shooting up through the hole in the deck.
"Cap'n? You know that little flooding problem we had? It ain't so
little anymore..."
> Ranma poked his head down into the hold, avoiding the column of water.
> The
> container had hit the monstrous form of Tarou with enough force that, in
> addition to the strain the bottom of the ship had already taken, it had
Sug "damage" for "strain"
> driven both the container and Tarou clean through the hull of the
> ship. With
> the gaping wound in its bottom, the ship was now filling with water as
> quickly as the ocean could claim it.
>
> "Oh crap," Ranma said as he ran into the interior of the ship.
That's one way to put it.
> There was another loud crash behind her, followed be the groan of metal
> being rent. From somewhere behind her, the sound of water began
> rushing in.
The sound was rushing in? Sound only travels at Mach 1, you
know. (:)
> "Ohhh. That's really not good." Panicked, she tried rolling to the
set of
> steps Tarou had taken up and out of the room. If she tried hard
> enough, she
> thought she could make like a Slinky and inch her way up the steps.
o_O Now there's an image.
> Once she
> got some clearance from the floor, she'd concentrate on her bonds once
> again.
>
> Kachiko had made it almost halfway there when she was struck by a
wave of
> pain so sudden and powerful, she passed out. Everything seemed to turn a
> shade of white and disappeared in the haze of agony lancing through her
> entire being. She couldn't even form a semi-coherent thought as her body
> reflexively convulsed, despite being bound....
>
> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> Kachiko opened her eyes, only to shut them again as something bright
> nearly
> seared her retinas. It took a moment to reorient herself. She was on her
> back. From the texture of the surface she lay upon, it was concrete.
From
> the smell and the feel of the wind, she was outdoors. Rolling over, she
> dared to open her eyes again and found herself facing concrete, as she
> had
> expected.
>
> A familiar voice said, "Look, is that not Kachi lying in the middle of
> the
> path?"
>
> A second familiar voice said, "I think so."
>
> "This is to be a very curious thing, yes?"
>
> "For anyone else, yes. For her, not really."
>
> Strength returning to her body, Kachiko rolled over and sat up. Sure
> enough,
> It was Kachiko's long time classmate, Gosunkugi and the Scandinavian
> knockout Ingrid. Their arms were affectionately around each other's
> waist as
waists.
Need a comma after "Gosunkgi," I think.
> they stared at her in concern.
>
> "Do I even want to know why you're lying on the ground?" Gosunkugi
asked.
>
> Kachiko scratched her head. "I don't know. I haven't gotten the faintest
"got"
> idea how I ended up here." She concentrated, trying to jog her memory,
> but
> nothing came to her. She remembered school ending and talking to
> Sakura on
> the way home. She had just dropped her best friend off when she noticed
> Icky's limousine come up the road. Rather than dealing with the boorish
> would-be Casanova hitting on her, which was as reflexive as breathing to
> him, she had opted to flee and head toward her house. Just as she was
> nearing it, everything went blank and she found herself lying on the
> ground
> in the middle of the sidewalk.
Hmmm... so was it Icky's limo that would have hit her originally?
> "Do you need help?" Gosunkugi asked.
>
> Kachiko rose to her feet, brushing some dirt from her skirt. "Nah. I'm
> fine.
> Strange things happen to me all the time. I'd say I was due for a
bout of
> temporary amnesia. At least I haven't had something like a personality
> inversion with Yumi happen. Now that would be really strange."
Nerima. Love it or leave it.
> "Only you could feel that way," Gosunkugi said. He and Ingrid gave their
> good-byes and departed, talking with one another about Kachiko's strange
> behavior.
>
> Kachiko scratched her head. The loss of memory was bothering her.
Perhaps
> she could find Wacky Wakaba, and see if she had any ideas on memory
> restoration. Her family had lots of geniuses, as evidenced by the
> number of
> things they loaned to Wakaba so she could show them off to Kachiko.
Kryptonite lasers, Illumidium Q-35 Space Modulators, various ACME
products...
That
> prototype Battle Dogi had been pretty neat. It had allowed Wakaba to
> actualize her potential as a martial artist, and work out with Kachiko
> in a
> fun sparring match that ended with the Battle Dogi being damaged and
> Wakaba
> having one of her arms pulled out of her socket when it malfunctioned.
Dislocated shoulder, ITYM.
> But
> it would serve as a reminder that one should learn martial arts the hard
> way, through practice, rather than some quick-fix magical item.
>
> Kachiko sighed. "I'd better get back home. Or those rotten parents of
> mine
> will bit-"
>
> Her diatribe ended abruptly as there was a sensation of falling followed
> by....
Interesting. Looks like we're finally finding out what those
episodes
are about.
> time something different happened. She had been cast into past with no
> memories of her time spent in the future. It was only upon her return
> to the
> future that her memories of that time came back to her.
>
> It took only a moment to make the logical conclusion to what it all
> meant.
That she needed to find The Doctor and join his band of-- no, wait,
wrong series.
> "No!" Kachiko wailed. She didn't want to go back, not without a
> memory. Not
> without the ability to change everything. It was the main reason she
> hadn't
> tried to go back, nor really wanted to. Yes, she had missed her family
> and
> friends, but to go back meant risking everything turning out the way the
> others said. Even armed with foreknowledge, there was no guarantee she
> could
> change her fate. Best to avoid the situation altogether. It was far
> better
> to face an unknown future rather than one that would probably lead to
> doom.
>
> Now it appeared the choice of remaining in the future and forging a
> new life
> had been taken away. With no memories of her time traveling
> experience, she
> would be damned to repeat the same mistakes once again. She would lose
> her
> dreams, her friends, her lover, her family, compromise her integrity,
and
> die before her life even had a chance to start. She would lose
everything
> she cared about, and it would only be replaced with ashes.
Well... there *are* compensations. But she's not going to see that
right now.
Or ever, from the way things look. Damn.
> Kachiko looked upward and screamed, "No! It's not fair! You can't
show me
> all this, then take away my ability to change it! You can't! You can't!"
>
> She screamed and screamed until her shrill voice cracked and throat
> became
Sug: "until her voice cracked and her throat was raw."
> raw. Then the screams became cries and tears rolled down her cheeks
in an
Sug "sobs" for "cries"
> unrelenting stream. It wasn't fair. If anything could be called Hell,
> this
> was it. The detailed knowledge that one was doomed to lose everything
and
> there was no way to avert it.
Okay. For the first time in this whole series, I am now feeling
real
sympathy for Kachi. That sucks. DB, I hate you.
> The water rose higher, submerging her body halfway. She could have
> continued
> wiggling toward the steps and seek higher ground, hoping someone would
> find
> and rescue her, but what was the point? She was damned anyway. Move or
> stay,
> if the outcome was the same, what difference did it make? None at all.
> She
> remained motionless and allowed herself to be submerged in the brine.
Despair is an ugly thing.
> Dimly Kachiko became aware of the sound of feet running quickly across
> the
> deck above her. The sound of steps became louder, and a pair of feet
> appeared at the top of the steps. Within the blink of an eye, Ranma
> appeared.
>
> He breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank god I found you. I was afraid Tarou
> had..." Ranma trailed off as he saw the look of devastation on Kachiko's
> features. He had never seen anything like it, not even on Ryouga when he
> formed the Perfect Shi Shi Houkoudan. "What did he do to you?"
>
> "He killed Hope." Kachiko knew Ranma wouldn't understand. She didn't
> care in
> the slightest. No one could understand.
Typical teenage complaint. But this time, with some validity.
> It took Ranma a moment to pull himself together. "I'll get you out of
> here."
>
> "Leave me!" Kachiko said bitterly. "It'll be over soon enough. Better a
> quick, clean death than a slow agonizing one that stretches out over the
> years. I'd rather drown than return to that pitiful, hollow existence."
>
> Even Ranma was taken aback by the desolation in her voice. "Quit talking
> nonsense. We'll get you out of here and things will work out. They
always
> do."
>
> "I hate your optimism and I hate you!" Kachiko spat. "I said leave me!
> Are
> you too stupid to understand the words coming out of my mouth, you sex
> changing freak?! Leave me here to die!"
>
> Rage had replaced devastation, making even Ranma pause. While he was
> struck
> silent, the same could not be said for the rest of the ship as the
> sound of
> more metal tearing filled the air. The sound shook him out of the spell
> woven by Kachiko's inexplicable actions. "I don't care what you say
about
> me. I'm getting you out of here."
That's our Ranma. Goal-orientation to the point of tunnel vision.
> Ranma made it to the very bottom of the steps when the sound of
"had made"
> something
> heavy struck the deck directly overhead. Then the ceiling gave way and
> came
> crashing toward Ranma. He tensed up to leap, but the water pooled in the
> bottom made the deck slippery and he fell.
Where's Kachi? Is he carrying her?
> A second later, half the deck above came crashing down on top of him.
>
> "No!" Kachiko screamed. Seeing Ranma's fate broke the veil of
> hopelessness
> that had settled over her. Momentarily forgetting her own plight,
Kachiko
> resumed her struggle against her bonds. For a moment, there was
> nothing, and
> the water merely rose up until it nearly filled her nostrils. She sat
> up as
> best as she could, catching a breath as she pulled and strained until it
> felt as though every muscle in her body would tear free from bone.
Wait a minute, a couple pages back this chapter was a comedy! What
happened? How did things go so bad, so fast?
(that was rhetorical)
> Then, just when it seemed all was lost, there was the sound of a link
> snapping.
>
> Luck was with Kachiko; the break was next to her right hand. Writhing
> around, she pried the broken link free. The removal of that chain
> triggered
> a domino effect among the others, and she slipped free of her
> confinement.
>
> Standing for the first time in half an hour, she ran to the pile of
metal
> that was on top of Ranma. He had to be all right. He was far stronger
> than
> her, and she probably would have survived such an impact. Maybe.
>
> Tired muscles pushed beyond their endurance pleaded for her to stop, but
> Kachiko ignored them and tossed the smaller pieces of broken metal
aside.
> There wasn't as much as she feared. It had seemed tons had dropped
> from her
> position on the floor, but it couldn't have been more than a thousand
> pounds
> or so, and most of it hadn't fallen directly on Ranma.
Don't worry! It's only *half* a ton!
> She tossed multiple chunks of debris aside until she came upon a
> large, flat
> piece of metal on top of several others. She went for an edge of it,
> digging
> her fingers in with the best purchase she could manage. It was heavy,
> heavier by far than the other pieces she had pulled. Heavier than it
> had any
> right to be. She continued pulling, ignoring the pain as the skin ripped
> away from her fingertips and left bloody smears on the metal. She
> couldn't
> ignore the pain in her back as a muscle finally did give way from the
> strain
> placed upon it. So she cried out, and continued to pull until the flat
> piece
> trembled, then pulled free of the metal that was heaped upon it, and
> it was
> tossed aside.
>
> Looking down at what lay underneath made Kachiko recoil. The seawater
had
> turned Ranma into his girl form. Her head was slightly propped up by
> the way
> the metal had fallen, keeping her from drowning, but only barely.
> There was
> a large gash on her temple, causing blood to flow down the middle of her
> face so that only the far sides of her cheeks weren't covered in a
> crimson
> mask. But the worst part was the small length of pipe sticking up
through
> her body, near her kidney. It had been driven vertically through her
side
> and into the deck below her. Blood flowed freely from the wound.
Okay, we are now *officially* outside of comedy territory.
> Kachiko wasn't squeamish, but seeing the impaled girl nearly made her
> throw
> up. She had to repress the urge. Instead she forced herself to use the
> ruins
> of her fingers to grip the metal protruding from Ranma's flank. She bent
> low, her back sending jolts of pain from her sore muscles pleading
> with her
> to stop, if only by making her pass out. Her body's aches joined in the
> chorus of protest, but she ignored everything other than removing the
> projection of metal from Ranma's body.
You're really not supposed to do that. But in this case, since the
pipe seems to be stapling Ranma to the deck....
> Her grip slipped from the mix of blood and water and she went
crashing to
> the deck. She picked herself up and bent lower, and gripping it right
> above
> the point where the pipe entered Ranma's body. It was slightly twisted,
> affording her some purchase, though there was also a particularly jagged
> piece of metal there. Digging her grip there meant driving a
> centimeter of
> metal into her palm, but Kachiko accepted it and forced her hand to
drive
> the metal through her own flesh, which was just a pale imitation of what
> Ranma must have been experiencing.
There's a lesson buried in that line, isn't there?
> Kachiko put everything she had into pulling upward. She wouldn't let
> herself
> fail. She pulled despite the pain caused by her actions, despite the
ever
> widening wound in her hand as it moved up, but the pipe didn't.
>
> A disc slipped in her lower back, making her scream, but still she
> pulled.
> And then suddenly, the pipe pulled free with a pop.
>
> Kachiko had only a second to feel relief at the lessening of pain when
> there
> was a loud explosion behind her. Heat seared her back and she was
> lifted up
> the floor and through the air. There was the sensation of something hard
> hitting her from the front.
That's right, they're near the engine spaces. Boiler must have
finally
flooded.
> Then there was nothing.
>
> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> Pain.
>
> Pain.
>
> Pain.
>
> This was not right. The world was not supposed to consist of nothing but
> pain. There were other things, though a mind filled to overflowing
> agony at
> every point of the body said that was the only sensation that mattered.
>
> Pain was a feeling. That was all. Kachiko's father had taught her
> that. You
> feel sad. You feel happy. You feel pain. Accept the feeling, and move
> on. Or
> just give up. Just make sure if you give up to the pain, you give up on
> everything else as well.
>
> So Kachiko accepted the pain, trying to locate the worst areas of it.
Her
> whole back felt like someone was applying a match to it. Somewhere
> beneath
> the flame, muscle was torn and bone had shifted, though her spine was
not
> broken, as the legs joined in their assessment that everything was
> hurt, not
> unfeeling.
>
> Breathing was hard as well. Someone was jabbing a poker in her chest
each
> time she drew breath. She coughed, and there was more pain. It would
> be so
> easy to pass out. Everything cried out she needed to. Her body was hurt,
> perhaps beyond repair. It was time to let it rest and fix itself. But
> there
> was one thing preventing her from giving in to the urge. One important
> matter that nagged at her conscience and refused to allow her to seek
her
> much needed rest. Only one thing.
>
> Ranma.
>
> She had to rescue him. It was a competition between which would finish
> him
> off first: drowning or bleeding to death. She couldn't let him die.
> She was
> doomed, but there was no reason for him to be as well. No one deserved
> to be
> damned the way Kachiko was.
And now I can't help but root for her. Dammit all, DB....
> No one.
>
> She told her body to rise up off the steps she had been thrown into, the
> ones that had probably broken her ribs, judging by the stabbing pain
> coming
> from her chest. Curiously, her body refused to respond. She could make
> her
> fingers twitch. She got one of her feet to try to find purchase, but she
> couldn't get anything else to work properly. It was taking everything
she
> had to accept the pain and remain conscious. She tried, and she tried,
> and
> she tried harder than anything she had ever attempted before in her
life,
> but her body wouldn't respond.
>
> It wasn't fair! She had the will to save him. She had the
> perseverance. She
> would not accept what Fate had in store for her until she saved Ranma.
> But
> the while the spirit was willing, the flesh was unable to complete the
> desire, and so Kachiko lay still, incapable of saving herself, much less
> anyone else. She lay limply on the steps, helpless. It was perhaps the
> most
> pitiful thing in her life, to know what she had to do and be unable
to do
> it. It was the first time she knew she had limitations she could not
> hope to
> overcome. She sobbed at her useless mortality.
And another lesson here.
> Then there was the sensation of an arm forcing its way between her
> chest and
> the steps. There was more pain, and a moment of whiting out from it.
"Whiting" out. Heh. That's apropos....
More
> agony produced the opposite effect, and forced herself awake. She saw
either the pain forced her awake, or she forced herself awake.
> that
> now she was suspended above the ground, though both her legs and head
> were
> pointed downward.
Reads awkwardly. Sug: "She was draped over someone's arm, head
and
legs trailing limply." Or something to that effect.
> Kachiko had enough control to force herself to look up past the tuxedo
> clad
> breasts and to the blood shrouded face of the redhead that now
> supported her
> body. Ranma's eyes were glazed over, as though looking off at some
> distant
> land. Despite the appearance of not knowing where she, was she
misplaced comma.
> continued to
> move forward and up the stairs.
>
> With each step, new waves of pain were sent into Kachiko's chest. She
Sug: "waves of pain rolled through Kachiko's chest"
> wanted
> to ask to be carried in the redhead's arms, but there wasn't enough
> cognizance left to form the words.
>
> Impossibly, the pain started to lessen, as though Kachiko was somehow
> moving
> past the concept of agony and into another state of mind where things
> were
> muted, like a faded water-color. Everything took a dreamlike quality.
Ah, shock. Ain't it wonderful?
She
> looked down again, and saw blood continue to flow from the tear in
> Ranma's
> flesh from her earlier impalement. A disconnected part of Kachiko's mind
> wagered her savior would bleed to death before she could get them
free of
> the ship. It looked like Ranma was going to beat her again.
Those last too lines seem to conflict.
> There was no longer a sensation of time, it went to the same place the
> pain
> had. Each moment was an eternity that never happened. There was only
> white
> and gray, which were dimly recognized as something called colors. There
> wasn't even fear. Not really. It went to the same place where
> everything but
> consciousness went. Or maybe it was gone too, and all of this was
Sug: "maybe that"
just
> imagination. The ship, the explosions, the time shifting, nothing but a
> twisted dream, and she'd wake up in her home, in her proper time, and
> laugh
> with Sakura about this tomorrow, especially the part about her best
> friend
> marrying an ugly man.
If things end that suddenly, there will be mobs with torches and
pitchforks marching on DB's door. I have foreseen it!
> Suddenly there was a new sensation. Wind ripping along her back,
soothing
> burned flesh ever so slightly. That was nice. It was the only thing
> remotely
> connected to relief. Everything else was just more of the same.
> She thought she heard cries coming from somewhere. It was hard to
"cries"? Maybe "voices" or "shouts" or something?
tell
> the
> direction. Everything was far away. Even Ranma, who was right next to
> her,
> still looking off in the distance. What did the redhead see? Kachiko
"into the distance," perhaps?
> wanted
> to know.
"Hey, on a clear day, you CAN see forever -- whups, wrong fic."
> Ranma kept walking, until they reached a wide gangplank that, despite
the
> slow sinking of the ship, was still connected to the dock, though at a
> steep
> upward angle rather than the lower one it had started out with.
You know, it just now occurred to me that the water that close to the
docks probably isn't deep enough for the ship to sink completely -- but
once the keel touched bottom, there's a fair chance it would just turn
turtle. But that would make things a little *too* complicated for Ranma
and Kachi...
Moving
> with
> the slow steady pace she had maintained since picking Kachiko up,
> Ranma went
> up the gangplank until her feet landed firmly upon the dock. It was as
> the
> second foot touched the edge that there was a groan from behind, and the
> gangplank collapsed, falling into the ocean with the rapidly sinking
> ship.
>
> Ranma's eyes turned away from looking ahead, and seemed to suddenly
> understand that there was someone over her shoulder. She looked at
> Kachiko
> and said, "I told you this would be the most unforgettable date you've
> ever
> been on."
<facefault>
> Then her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she slumped to the
> ground, dumping Kachiko unceremoniously on her back.
And driving the ends of her broken ribs into her lungs, no doubt.
> Kachiko stared up at the sky. She had to admit, she was guilty of
> underestimating Ranma. He had given her the most interesting date she
had
> ever been on.
She's still thinking about *that,* after everyth-- no, never mind.
Ranma was doing it too. I'd almost say that these two deserve each
other....
> Deciding now was a good time to pass out, she did so.
And about darn time, too!
I forsee at least a week of hospital time for both of them, given how
much damage they took. More, if Ranma's kidney actually got puncutred
<shudder>. But I have a hunch that Kachi's little "temporal problem" is
going to come to a head sooner than that.
Ugly thought: just how close are Kachi's current wounds to the ones
that forced her to give up the Art originally? Or to having the same
end effect -- like, say, whatever she did to her back while freeing
Ranma? That could be one way of fixing the time stream w/o breaking
Akane's wish -- Kachi never had that first car accident, but still ended
up in the same boat....
> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> [END CHAPTER]
>
> Yep, Tarou's staff was pulled from the bad guy in the second episode
> of the
> Read or Die OVA.
Who is based on, IIRC, the same legend that Toriyama drew from when
creating the Dragonball series.
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