----- Original Message ----- 
From: "The Eternal Lost Lurker" <lurkerdrome@sbcglobal.net>

Yes, but their father needs to be slightly functional for them *and*
Kasumi.

Since when? The girls very rarely actually NEED Soun for ANYTHING.

I think I remember a couple of times where they tried to have Soun deal
with things. I even remember when Sound attempted to do so too.

Of course, Happy flattened him both times.

Soun is a bit of a putz and he's been under a lot of stress. He's

actually

backsiding here.

Akane: *WHAM* "STOP MOONING ME, DADDY!"

I really should have reread this a bit for spelling errors. I didn't even
let the spell-checker at it.

This was purely an intro story for the Lois & Clark: Superman

Unleashed

"shared" Universe to introduce Kasumi Tendo and how she became a
super-powered (75% of Superman actually) hero for Japan.

And people used to think making Kasumi the Lord God Almighty was

weird...

While Kasumi is very powerful in this "universe" she is not the most
powerful. Weird magic tricks, Superman, Ultrawoman and GI Jane would all
cause her problems and she is a peer with about a dozen Ultra Secret
Service Agents.

I'm not totally sure what you mean here. This isn't Elvis "Las Vegas"
druggie/bum/singer. This is an Elvis who managed to get elected to the
Presidency, after all.

And this automatically makes him lose every single nuance of personality

he

ever had?

No. I tried to put in that he was a bit of a rambunctious old coot and not
really one of those people that liked to play politics, even though he was
very good at it.

Good ol' boys don't sober up THAT much for anything short of a funeral.
Hell, look at Bill Clinton when HE was in office.

[scratch-head] He impetiously gives away the equivilant of nuclear weapons
to a civilian to save her life and that's not a big deal? He tries to
cover his heiny latter with some political schenanigans, but that doesn't
change what he actually did.

(Hell, look at Dubya...)

[shudder] I'd rather not, thank you.

Again, these are just my suggestions. Use whatever you decide you

agree

with, and best of luck with this and any other fanfics.

I appreciate the comments and grammer.

I should think you'd also appreciate the need to proofread even the most
insignificant drafts, so you don't make mistakes like "grammer" at the

most

inopportune of moments. ^_-

GDI. I did it again. Why do I have that blind spot for that word? I even
chopped the end of the sentence that I thought I was putting there.

Thanks for the comments and grammar issues that you guys pointed out.

--------------------------------------
The Eternal Lost Lurker

Arthur Hansen


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