In a message dated 2/24/2004 6:16:08 AM Pacific Standard Time, 
hkmiller@theeddy.com writes:

Nice little shortfic.� Is this preliminary to some longer work?� You've 
put some thought
into who these characters are; it would be a shame not to make use of 
that in a real
story.

[Hey, thanks!� Yes, this is supposed to be the first of a series, most of 
them one part short stories.� Some of them possibly more than one chapter.� The 
plan is to concentrate on the other parts of the BGC world/time-frame . . . but 
who knows about that.]

HARIJUBAL@aol.com wrote:

� But, well, if I were totally honest, I'd have to say that Linna-that's 
Linna Yamazaki-is my, I dunno, best (?) friend.�� Linna and I are around 

the same 

age, we've gone through a lot of the same things, so we have a lot of 
commonality to bond us even without this thing we do, but we're also 

different enough 

that it's not like talking to a copy of me.

A fairly orthodox Priss, but Priss almost has to be this way, since we 
know her
better than the others from the series.� Linna as best friend strikes me 
as true, too.

[Priss is a favorite of so many other writers that I feel like I have nothing 
more to say about her that hasn't been said by others.� The Linna-Priss 
friendship makes sense to me because they're nearly always together.]

� My father was called Katsuhiko Stingray.� This was not the name he was 
born with.� I do not know what that was.

Intriguing point; a good starter into a longer fic.

[I guess.� I may go into it.� I know who he is but not sure if it matters 
much.]

� Our minds were made better.� Our nervous systems made faster.� Our bodies 

better.� Information is absorbed and processed faster.� Everything faster.� 

Everything better.� Everything stranger.� Optimized humans.

"He could make us better than before.� Better, faster, stronger."� Cut 
to kaleidoscopic scenes
of Sylia running through a desert at 60 mph, see infrared in complete 
darkness, lifting one end
of a car with one hand.� :)

[Hahahahaha.� You're right.� I didn't have this in my head, consciously, but 
I guess there it was.� Weird.]

� The television not only fed my sickness, it also gave me dance.� I saw my 

first Hikaru Hiyama movie one day, one of her earliest works, "Downtown 
Cats."� 

� Now I dance only in the street.

Might want to expand on this:� ", asserting my own existence with with 
every sidestep
which cuts off a boomer's arm, every whirl that cuts off a boomer's 
head."� Linna having
a self-image primarily as a dancer has always struck me as one of the 
best ways

[Mmm . . . no . . . I think I'll keep this as is.� Linna never struck me as 
one given to descriptive violence.]

NENE

� They call her Nene Romanova, the purple clad guardian of freedom and 
defender of justice!� Who, along with her daily life as a heroic A.D. 

Police 

officer, protects the citizens of Megatokyo from crime and fear!

Nene is Minako?� (blinks)� Or Natsumi Tsujimoto?

[No, no.� This is Nene as she wishes she could see herself.� Our Nene-chan 
has low self esteem issues, you see.]

Seriously, this struck me as a bit OOC, though I'm not sure why; this 
just isn't how
I see Nene.

[Well, the things we know about Nene are: perky, put upon, smart, trying to 
lose weight, teased, feels bad about being the physically weakest Knight Saber, 
and makes fun of Leon whenever she can.� I tried to work in as many of those 
elements as I could.]

Have you heard how your older sister went to a third world nation and made 

it a paradise on Earth all by herself?� 

Another interesting premise for further stories.

[Soon you shall all tremble in fear at the Romonoff family christmas 
reunion.� Tremble!]

� (Come to think of it, I guess I have more in common with my uncle than 
anything.� He was a cop too and according to all the old family stories, a 

bit 

of rebel.� There have been cops before in our family, but none like him.� I 

really would have liked to have met him more times than I did.)

And who was this?� Goto?� For that matter, who were Linna's parents?

[. . . . uhhh . . . Ahahahahahahahahaha.� What a, uh, what an . . . 
interesting comment.� Ahahahahahaha.

Oh, and Linna's parents were . . .hmm . . . I'll talk about it later.

Really.]

-murmur
who wonders if his mind is being read somehow.� 


             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'