arun prabhu wrote:

Hello, everybody, ^_^
After a year long hiatus, I'm back. To those of you
who care, I'm still working on Destiny and haven't
abandoned it. I'll get the fourth chapter done and
published as soon as possible. ^_^

Kurukshetra: The Darwon Invasion
================================

Prologue
--------

Author's notes:
--------------
Kurukshetra is the mother of all battles in Hindu
mythology. In fact,
two of the holiest texts of the Hindu creed, the
Bhagavad Gita and
the Mahabharatha, are devoted it. Since I'm Indian,
and I needed a
title and this series will be about the mother of all
wars, I have
decided to name it Kurukshetra. Kurukshetra is an
original work
belonging to the alternate history military science
fiction genre,
one which I intend to sell to some big publishing
house someday.
Naturally, I want to see how well this book will be
received by the
readers, which is why I'm publishing this prologue on
the net.

Please, tell me what you think of it.

I think if I wanted to sign up for a lecture that long,
I'd go back to college.  This is a positive flood
of irrelevant information presented in an overly didactic
manner.  

    And yet, she fought. For three thousand more
years, the Darwon
pursued the few survivors of Terra, intent on
quenching the last
flicker of the flame of life still remaining on her
mortally wounded
body. Terra fought back with all the viciousness of a
cornered lion,
burning a thousand worlds of the Darwon clean with
nuclear fire, but
it wasn't enough. Darwon, with her thirty thousand-odd
children
worlds, was just too big to swallow whole and Terra
was doomed to
extinction. Still, with her last breath, she spat
contemptuously at
Darwon's feet and sent a handful of her children into
another
universe - thanks to a scientific discovery that her
scientists
accidentally happened upon. And when she died, she was
still howling
that the flame of Terra would never be conquered nor
quenched.

Delete _everything_ before the above paragraph.  None of it
matters in the least.  The important facts, that humanity
fought a war of extermination and lost, and sent a few 
refugees "elsewhere" are all contained right here.  

    Only, it wasn't a gateway into another universe
that Terra's
think-tanks discovered...

***

    Reynard Arsu stared at the plot stretched in his
mindeye* and
nodded in satisfaction. Before him in the mindeye was
his fleet of
eighty nine thousand ships and the four thousand
mobile support
bases, broken into twelve battle and six colonization
fleets. The
battle line was spread out over a distance of 130
light seconds in a
cone 

A cone?  Why a cone?

    "Admiral?"

    The confident voice of the intruder shook Reynard
out of the
heightened world of senses that was the hallmark of
mindeye and into

delete "the hallmark of".  Never use 10 words when
7 will do.  

the blandness of the real world. He turned to greet
the speaker with
an open smile on his face.

    "Yes, Carter?"

    Captain Frank Worrell Carter, commanding officer
of the
Vengeance, twice recipient of the Medal of Valor 

I don't give a rat's ass about his medals.  

    "It won't," Reynard barked, cutting off Carter.
"Inform Fosset
and O'Reilly that I'll rip them new assholes if so
much as a wisp of
this finds its way into the rumor mill until we can
either confirm or
disprove Commander Salvador's hypothesis. Give
Salvador and his
people a pat on his back on my behalf, and send an
urgent invitation
to the Fleet Admirals inviting them for a little
t�te-�-t�te on the
Vengeance at 2000 Hrs." 

That order should be given to the Admiral's aide, not
the flagship captain.  

    "Yes, it does," Fleet Admiral Charles Donohue
replied, casting an
apologetic look around the table. He wanted to believe
that they were
in a parallel universe, too, but he could not, not in
good
conscience. The thought of getting caught in a time
paradox was not a
pleasant one, but it might very well be that they were
heading down
the track which would ultimately seem them caught in
one.

    "But the Well theory is not TOE or have you
forgotten," he asked,
"Have any of you considered the possibility that the
Well theory
might break down under our present situation?"

might be disproven by our present situation?

    "Well," Admiral Ian observed, finally, breaking
the silence, "we
can be sure of one thing. We're most definitely in a
parallel
universe."

Except that you said they weren't in a parallel universe.


             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'