Suggested changes: {before : after}
On 02/06/2004 11:16 AM, LSMcGill wrote:
She hadn't left her home {: for} the last several days, trying to
come to grips with the encounter she had had with Hild, and wishing
she wasn't stuck with this damn assignment. Belldandy had tried
coaxing her out with sweets, and even Skuld had tried to cheer her
up, but nothing could drag her out of the room. She hadn't even been
able to get a good drunk on. She'd drained all the sake the first
day and Belldandy wouldn't buy her any more, so she'd just sat in her
room sober and hating her life.
No matter how she had fought it, that {sense : feeling} wouldn't go
away. It had nagged at her, pushed her out of her room, and finally
driven her to the apartment complex where Mara had made her lair.
There had been no answer, but all her senses had screamed at her at
the residuals of power within. It had taken her all of three seconds
to {pick : open} the door with a credit card.
A faint groan came from the bedroom. Urd blinked, then pushed on the
badly scarred door. A soft golden glow came from the bed, but Urd
couldn't make out what, or who, was on it. She started to move
forward, then stopped at the flare from a magical circle on the
floor. The golden glow flared brightly for a second as a pair of
burning eyes floated above the circle, seeming to stare right through
her. Urd took a step back as the eyes closed and the circle faded.
She recognized the signature on the ward, though {she' d : she'd}
never seen anything like it before. What was the Dragon up to?
Instantly, she felt the world outside fade from her senses, the ward
sealing even her goddess powers. She staggered for a second as she
felt herself cut off, but concern for the still figure in the bed
overrode her wariness. She knelt next to the still form of Mara and
brushed the hair back from the demoness' face. She breathed a sigh
of relief as she reassured herself that Mara was alive, the silent
dread that had driven her here fading. Regardless of how Mara had
been acting, they had once been friends. They had grown up together,
and played together, {inseperable : inseparable} to the point many
had thought they were twins, but Urd's decision to become a goddess
had driven a wedge between them, one that had widened over the years
as Mara had risen to become their nemesis. Urd had been confused by
the change in her friend, then resentful, but she'd never been able
to bring herself to hate her one time best friend, no matter how
angry she had gotten at the demoness disrupting her life or trying to
mess with Belldandy and Keiichi.
"No. Shan Pu be cursed many years now. Since thirteen." She
frowned. "Musk who attack village. Shan Pu meet before. Make fall
in spring. Part why cousin hate so much." She sighed. "Is why so
upset when find Ranma fear cat. Do not want Airen run from Shan Pu.
Run from Shan Pu enough already{. : ,}" she finished sadly.
Kasumi wrung out her skirt as she nodded. "I know, dear. But are
you sure this is the best way?" She finally gave up wringing the
water out and began undressing. Nothing in the groceries would
spoil, and she'd been intending to get a bath before dinner anyway.
"Akane is really happy with having a pet. I don't know how she'll
take it finding out it's you. She's not always the most rational or
forgiving person." Hanging her wet clothes from a nearby hook in the
washing area, she settled into the water across from Shan Pu. "I
mean, I know I told you that you need to work on being subtle, but
{not : I did not mean} outright deception."
"Because taking care of me and father was too demanding to allow her
the same kind of time and dedication to martial arts she had
previously. And she insisted on stability for the family, so she and
father could not live as wanderers anymore. Father returned home
and took over the school from grandfather, and {mom : Mom} learned
how to be a mother from grandmother. By the time our Grandparents
died, Nabiki had been born, and {mother : Mother} had settled into
being a housewife. She still practiced in the mornings with {father
: Father}, but I always got the sense she'd felt like she lost
something." Kasumi traced circles on the top of the water as she
stared off into the distance. "I tried as hard as I could to help
around the house, and take the burden off of her, but I never
understood until later what it was that she missed. I never realized
how much she had given up until she died, and I was helping to raise
Akane. She is so much like {mother : Mother} at times it's scary.
Father always used to brag that he had tamed a shrew in {mother :
Mother}, and Akane's drive and temper came from her."
Kasumi nodded. "In Japan, only the family helps, and men are
generally off earning money to support the family. The school was
{fathers' : Father's} job, but when {mother : Mother} died, he just
kind of fell apart. If it hadn't been for the money {mother :
Mother} had put back, and Nabiki's gift for managing money, we would
have lost our home years ago."
The Prince had done a good job of seeking unobtrusive entry to Japan,
having hired a private luxury yacht last night to take him across to
Japan. His only mistake had been paying in gold. The yacht's
captain had had no choice but to try and fence the metals, since had
he tried to sell in {under :} normal channels, the PRC would have
been sniffing around trying to find out how he had come across such a
large cache of antique coinage. Seeking to avoid the PRC had forced
the captain to contact {: a} Japanese "merchant", whose connections
reported directly to Tokyo. As a "favor" to Tao-Ching, the yacht
crew had been replaced while Herb slept and he had boarded it this
morning unaware that the crew was under orders to bring him directly
to this old, disused Hibiki warehouse. Further arrangements had been
made to ensure the docks were empty for a half mile around. Five
million American dollars could buy a lot with the Yakuza. Twenty
million all told, if you took into account hiring the mercenaries of
Area 88 to blow up the Musk fortress.
Ai looked at her coolly, leaning back in the hot tub she'd arranged
to have installed in the {cheerleaders : cheerleaders'} dressing
room. She stretched her arms out along the side, lifting her breasts
to just above the waterline as she got comfortable. She gave the
raven haired cheerleader a slow examination, making the naked girl
feel like her skin was being flayed, and Ayeka resisted the urge to
cover herself. Finally, Ai spoke.
Ai shook her head. Telling the girl to shave had been a mistake.
Nice as she looked bare, Ayeka had obviously taken it as an attempt
on Ai's part to make her substitute for Zhu Shu. It hadn't been,
she'd just discovered she liked the look, and had made Ayeka her
first experiment, trying to decide if she was going to have the
entire squad shave, but in the tall {girls : girl's} mind, it had
been far more significant, obviously.
"She does have bigger breasts." Kyoko added helpfully from where she
was busy massaging Megumi's legs. Megumi was watching the {fight :
argument} with an air of "enough already", supporting herself on her
arms as she lay on the massage table, her legs spread to let Kyoko
rub muscles sore from practice. She looked down at the younger
girl's comment and rolled her eyes with an amused smile.
"Mariko's squad got cocky. She needed to be reminded who the real
master of combat cheerleading was in the Konjou family." Ai said
with a frown. She {r eached : reached} down to tap Kaede's foot
away. "And Ayeka is uncontrollable when she 's berserk." Ai said as
she rose from the tub and began drying off.
Ranma watched as Akane removed her gi, admiring the curves her body
was developing, and smiling as Akane's bunny tail came fully into
view. Akane noticed her watching and gave her rear a shake. "So, do
I have a nice tail?"
Since she really does have a nice, fluffy tail, does that become a
triple entendre?
It was amusing watching some of the antics her Japanese sisters went
through about something as simple as sex. Sex was a natural
expression of love, whether it was between sisters or mates. Amazons
kept it simple. Sex for fun was fine between fertility periods;
procreation was reserved for marriage. Sex with a sister was always
for fun, regardless of whether they were blood or not. Really, how
else was anyone to learn the proper ways to stimulate a partner
without practice? She'd been surprised that all Zhu {Shu 's : Shu's}
training had been rote memorization, and that she had never been
trained to read her body's own signs of when she was fertile, though
she had been trained in herbal techniques to control conception.
She'd remedied at least that much during their two months hunting
Ranma, teaching Zhu Shu how to note the various signs of the feminine
cycle.
Still, judging from the little exchange between Kasumi and Nabiki,
and {Akane 's : Akane's} concerns about playing with Ranma as a male,
it looked like she would need to educate her new sisters and Airen as
well. Some of these outlander customs were just too silly.
"I see." Soun said, taking another long drag on his cigarette.
"Very well, I approve the engagement. It's a suitable one for
Nabiki, as you come from a fine family, and Akane has accepted her
familial duties to the School." He took Tao-Ching's hand and pumped
it. "Welcome to the family, {son : Son}."
"Yes, {daughter : Daughter}?"
"Nabiki, you asked him if he had a condom, and you were sitting on
top of him, giving every indication you wanted to engage in certain
activities that should only occur between a wedded, or about to be
wedded, couple. That certainly tells me you wanted to marry him."
Soun tossed the stump of his cigarette into the street. "Now, I try
to be a modern and liberal father, {daughter : Daughter}, but there
are proprieties that must be observed. At least I'm now certain that
one of my daughters will be in something approaching a normal
relationship. Now kiss him for pity's sake and drag him upstairs.
I'm not getting any younger, you know."
"Alright. I submit, {mother : Mother}. You know I can't beat you."
Tao-Ching raised his hands in surrender.
"Because you could never be bothered with any of the Amazon men,
{mother : Mother}. It was either adoption or nothing." Tao-Ching
said with an air of something said a million times.
Tao-Ching rolled his eyes before giving a "what can you do" shrug and
climbing in the Humvee. Nabiki watched as they drove off, hoping he
{wouldn' t : wouldn't} be gone too long.