DB Sommer wrote some C&C:    (Yay! Thanks!)

Originals seem to be more popular of late than they had in the past. let's
see if this one piques my interest.

September 1st - Grandma's house of secrets

house of secrets should be capitlized, methinks.\

Agreed.

<Snippage here and there to keep message short, capitalization advice 
noted, will revise as needed.>

But today was not going to be a day for secrets, but for fun.  As you
remember, grandma called home a few days ago, and said she wanted to
talk to ME!  Not to mom or dad, or anyone else, but just to me.  She
said that it was something very important, and that it was something
only I could do!  Must be because I'm growing up.
I'm almost a high school student now.   Well, I'll be a high school
student as soon as I finish junior high, in two years.  But I'm very
responsible, and always get the best grades I can.  I'll try to be class
rep this year, if my best friend doesn't get it first.   Kaneko has been
my friend since we were little, and she is almost as smart as me, but I
look cuter in our school uniform.

Thoughts seem a little young for seventh grade, but eh.

This is something I've been considering revising and in so doing, maybe 
downgrading her age a bit more.  I think having her be a little younger 
would potentially work better, and am willing to entertain suggestions. 
  (In particular, suggestions for the age of a child getting their first 
dog.  Private replies preferred, please.)

Mom wanted to drop me off right after school, and said I'd spend the
whole day there.  Mom kept acting a little weird around me, ever since
the phone call.

For her sake, it'd better not be a 'Ceres' like situation. :)

Not planning to have her part in the story be anywhere near that 
traumatic.

once, where she learned all the fun things we do, and she told me "Well,
grandma knows a lot of things, but Taro-chan  thought you might like
doing something like this, so he told me all about it."  But that's
silly, because dogs can't talk, except on the movies or on TV, and dad
said that's 'movie magic.'   But mom says that there is no such thing as
magic, because magic tricks scare her.  She tries to pretend they don't,
but I can tell she doesn't like them, not even coin tricks.  I told
grandma that once, and I think I said something wrong because she got a
little sad for a while because of it.  She tried to smile and pretend
nothing was wrong, but I could tell.

Well, that seems a fairly good hint for the reader.

There'll be a few more hints in chapter 2, as I expand a little more on 
the past and current relationship between Nozomi's Mother and 
Grandmother, but no specifics for a little while longer

She told me she was taking him with us, and that we were all going to go
for a walk.  I never knew Taro-chan went for walks with grandma.  I
thought he always lived inside the house, but grandma says that
"Everyone needs to do some exercise regularly to stay healthy, even
Taro-chan."

Now if Taro-chan was a cat, this would be the exact opposite.

heh. :p

The park was nice.  It was a sunny day, and there were lots of nice
people around.  Grandma even let me walk Taro-chan around by myself for
a while, when she was tired and had to sit down on a bench for a while.
 Walking with Taro-chan is amazing!  He is sooo big, and his coat is
shiny black, and he must be the biggest dog in the world!

But can our speaker ride him like Chiyo can Tadakichi? :)

I have not seen or read enough Azumanga to know when or how that 
happened, although I do remember seeing images of this somewhere.  So my 
comments back will of necessity be a little lacking in specifics.

I doubt Taro would appreciate anyone suggesting it to Nozomi as 
something to do, but if she were to try, he would probably put up with 
it.  He is a pretty mellow dog under normal circumstances.

As you said, an introductory thing that was exposition. I can't say I care
for the first person narrative since it sounds so childlike and would get
annoying fast. Still, not bad for an opening to an original.

DB Sommer

I do agree that this childlike exposition would get tiresome quite 
quickly.  Fortunately, Grandma gets her voice next chapter, so the tone 
will change somewhat with her voicing her part in the tale.  It is still 
told in first person narrative, but in a hopefully much more mature tone.

I'm trying to focus on one character per chapter, and show a different 
facet of the world with each person.  Thus, even as the story progresses 
and characters change along with it, the rest of the narrative should 
only become this childlike again if it returns to a point where it is 
once more told exclusively from Nozomi's perspective.

However, if I such a narration style does end up detracting from the 
story, I would like to know it.   (Preferably before I've managed to 
post more than a couple of chapters ;) )
So, please keep writing comments, everyone.

-- 
"There is nothing in this world of value...
  Nothing worth risking our lives for...
	 ...except 'erhaps...
	...what little we can create ourselves."
		Daisuke Ido (Gunnm / Battle Angel)
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