On 18 Jan 2004, at 15:45, Bert Miller wrote:
Quoting Jon Rosebaugh <chibi@anifics.com>:
Ranma scanned the message again.
If there's a written message, why is there also a
blonde? If a blonde came to visit him, why bring
anything written?
Well, the Hanagumi are a very, um, flamboyant military group. I see
nothing wrong with sending Maria as a courier with a note from either
the others, or Yoneda, or what have you. I didn't explain who the
message was from, as I didn't bother giving the text of the message
itself. The fic's too short for that.
The blonde glared at him. "Tokyo needs you, Ranma. If
we do not fight, the demons win. Is your conscience
big enough to handle that?" she asked, gesturing to
the city outside.
Do I think this is Sailor Moon at this point? Well,
obviously it could be, but your characterization of
"the blonde" doesn't really fit either Usagi or Minako
IMO. So my first time through here I kind of kept the
question open.
IMO it is good for Maria, though. Sakura Wars wasn't
an early guess for me, though, since it is set in the
1920s.
One suggestion here would be to have the visitor be
Iris rather than Maria. I think you could write some
dialog for Iris which could easily come across as
being from Usagi: a sort of teary-eyed, smiling plea.
Perhaps... But then it wouldn't work so well for Sakura Wars. I knew
they didn't fit together that well. The way I see it is that without
Ohgami, Maria was the de facto leader of the group. Admittedly, at the
time I wrote this, my only knowledge of Sakura Wars came from Eyrie's
UF fics, and the Sakura Wars movie, both of which lack Ohgami during
most of the narrative. Although Ohgami is back with the Hanagumi at
this point in the universe, chronologically, it would still be Maria
who would go talk to Ranma, I thought.
A billboard on the roof of the Theatre caught her
eye. "Look, Ranma. 'The Imperial Theatre Company
salutes the beautiful warriors who defend our city.'"
"Heh. I don't know why you're so fascinated with
those girls.
Now this is certainly much more SM-ish than SW-ish.
In fact, turning out to be SW makes this (to me) turn
out to be hard to swallow, for two reasons, one minor
and one major: 1) the minor, this is very immodest
of the Teikoku Kagekidan to salute themselves.
2) the major, the hanagumi go out to fight in big steel
suits. Who among the public even knows that women
are inside them? In SW, the people inside the suits
are a closely guarded secret. It's not like this is
BGC, with shaped suits; these suits are big tin cans!
The civilians haven't even peeked out their windows and seen anything?
While the Hanagumi do, of course, remain covert, there seem to be
plenty of opportunities for being seen in silhouette or something, IMO.
And yes, this is another example of why I should have tried for a
straight SW fic... I was trying to play off the humor used in fics like
Sailor Ranko.
How come they don't have any guys fighting with them?
Other than Ohgami, of course.
As you may find out, no.
"Come on, we need to get good seats."
I thought they had their tickets already? At the
Imperial Theatre, your seats are printed on the
ticket (Ohgami is shown reading people's tickets and
telling them which door to go through in OVA II ep 1).
Ah. My lack of knowledge betrays me again.
It was the intermission, which seemed to be longer
than usual for these sorts of plays
Heh. Not for the T-K! They get shows interrupted
unexpected quite often. The crowd waits, though, and
the girls return and finish their show.
That must be hard to explain.
He was sitting in an office in the back of the
theatre, and the man seated behind the desk was
trying to be all mysterious.
No army uniform, I guess.
Well, they do have an extensive wardrobe department, I imagine.
"I'll explain." The woman's voice came from somewhere
<clip>
She was fairly tall, for a woman, and she had
striking blonde hair. Both were odd, for a person who
was obviously at least half Japanese.
Now, at this point, anybody with the slightest
familiarity with SW would have to get it, IMO. If
meeting in the theatre itself wasn't enough of a give-
away, the tall, half-Japanese blonde (who was probably
on stage before intermission) gives it away completely.
I'm probably the closest thing we have to a leader.
So where is Ohgami, anyway?
Ranma snorted. "I won't argue with that. But whaddya
need me for? You girls do magic; don't try to tell me
you don't. I've seen what that young girl can do. I
can do some interesting things, but it's all
science. Just using my chi."
Iris is magic rather than an esper? Aw, well, what
does Ranma know? You're obviously still trying to fool
readers into thinking this is SM, but in the process
you're straining vis-a-vis SW. How does Ranma know
that the yellow koubu holds a young girl? And how
has Ranma ever been close enough to see the T-K at
work? Most fights are at night, and (in canon) before
television.
Roof-hopping, of course! Ranma would likely be interested in the whole
Demon War as a matter of course, even if he couldn't do anything about
it.
As far as the "magic" thing goes, why can't Ranma think of it as that?
Psychic powers are a bit more mysterious than his martial arts skills.
rare. Up until now, we have only found this ability
in women, the eight of us.
Eight is clearly the wrong number for SM, while the
right number for SW after Orihime and Reni join.
Unless there's a Senshi missing, for whom they want Ranma to fill in.
But, the illusion is still too strained.
There was supposed to be a ninth. A few years back,
we thought we had found a man who also had the
ability.
Ohgami was killed at the beginning of game one/the
tv series? Quite an alt.
Not necessarily killed...
"Trust you? In a place like that? Give me a break.
Heh. It's practically de rigeur for crossover fanfic
to not have Ranma be safe around the SM girls, but
IMO things would be very different around the SW.
It was easily the largest demon Ranma had ever seen,
and the stongest too.
Ranma: "Quick, Sakura! Here are the majinka; see
you later!"
draw energy from the backup groups even this far from
the Theatre.
??? Is this a reference to the Hoshigumi? Or the
division which consists of mikos and mediums (can't
remember the name)?
Dunno. Referring to the scene in the movie where they use that other
team's spiritual power to drive the demons away from the Theatre.
Ranma opened her Kohbu and climbed out, raising her
fist to the sky. "This is our capital! This is our
nation! And we will protect it with every beat of our
hearts!"
Who are you and what have you done with Ranma?
He was caught up in the spirit of the moment.
"I get to be the leading MAN this time. If Sumire
knocks me out and puts me in her costume one more
time..."
The T-K doesn't have any men on stage. And that
strikes me as WAY OOC for Sumire, the self-proclaimed
"top star".
Not even Ohgami? Oh well... Gryphon got to be on stage when he was with
them! As I've noted, I don't really know enough ST to write it. But I
did imagine that even Sumire might get some roles she disliked.
This originated when I watched the Sakura Taisen
movie, (I should point out that my only knowledge of
Sakura Taisen comes from this movie
Well, you're shortchanging yourself, for one. The
second OAV series is (IMO) one of the most delightful
anime series ever made. You see no koubu battles,
but you learn much more about the characters than you
do in the movie.
I wouldn't recommend the TV series unless you become
fanatical about SW. The first OAV series isn't all
that good either, though it's definitely better than
the TV series.
what I decided to do was see if I could trick people
into thinking it was a Sailor Moon crossover
Well, the first scene did leave the question open.
To me it wasn't SM, but I couldn't say what series it
was. On the whole, though, I don't think you kept the
question open nearly as long as you tried to, and some
of the attempts have plausibility problems w.r.t. SW.
I think a more interesting approach might be to
juxtapose Sumire and Rei. Both are plausible as
messengers, with the tone Maria takes in your first
scene. Both frequently pick on the viewpoint character,
adopting a superior tone. (It is not an accident, in
other words, that the same voice actress played both;
in many ways they have similar personalities).
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