This is an interesting series, but this particular
chapter is a little disappointing. It pretty much is
your standard "Genma and Akane get what's comming to
them" scenario. I suppose maybe you had to get all
that out of the to get on with whatever story arc you
have planned, still I was hoping for a little more
complexity. Ranma is  a little TOO well-adjusted it
seems to me, at least in this chapter. He knows
exactly what to do and succeeds with out much problem.
He is in great danger of becoming a mary sue. He needs
a problem or two he can't solve.

That having been said, you're doing an excellent job
of portraying the characters' personalities. I'm not
saying they're canon because that opens a nasty can of
worms, but your interpretations are consistant and I
get a good feel for the unfamiliar as well as the
Ranma characters. There hasn't been a time where I've
gotten characters' speech mixed up. It's very clear
who says what.

I also think you do well with the fights. The fight
with Genma wasn't described in great detail but the
necessary information was there and I think you're
going for more of an quirky emotional situation fic
rather than a DBZ-esque boss-of-the-day sort of thing.


Just mentioning this because it was something I didn't
know about until someone told me: some if not all of
your apostrophes are showing up garbled so you might
make sure you're not using "smart" apostrophes from
Word or something. You also seem to have some typos
but I can't be sure with an email and there really
aren't enough for it to matter.

Anyway I hope I helped. I'm interested in seeing where
you take this.

May you see your reflection and find yourself smiling,
-W.B.R.


=====
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http://www.fanfiction.net/~zorknot

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