Subject: [FFML] [C&C][fanfic][R1/2] The Things We Wish For... Chapter 12 Part B
From: Michael A Chase
Date: 2/1/2004, 9:28 PM
To: DB Sommer
CC: ffml@anifics.com


Suggested changes: {before : after}

On 01/31/2004 08:56 PM, DB Sommer wrote:

 > Hinako moved closer, snuggling briefly against Soun's side and he
 > could feel the swell of her breast pressed against his arm. Soun
 > found his body reacting to the contact. There was no denying Hinako
 > was a very desirable woman. She was attractive, had a generous
 > build, and was even a good bit younger than him. It was also
 > obvious she was interested in him, which was flattering to his ego.
 > There were no drawbacks or distasteful characteristics to her at
 > all.

Interesting that no one has mentioned their runins with her to him.

 > Admittedly, it wasn't hard to figure out where the dramatic mood
 > swings originated. While Ranma wasn't a thing like his father, that
 > same could not be said about Akane and Kachiko. They shared a lot
 > of similar traits outside of their physical similarity to one
 > another. A quick temper seemed to be something Akane had inherited
 > from her mother, though Kachiko was quicker to forgive as well
 > {incite : ignite}. While Ranma had mostly adjusted to the physical
 > similarities, sometimes the common traits in their personalities
 > still threw him. The two were different from one another in other
 > behaviors, but they were family. Of that there was no doubt.

 > He could understand, and even sympathize with her troubles. She
 > even tended to take his side in matters, like the engagement thing,
 > which few people, outside of Akane, did. The pros outweighed the
 > cons when it came to spending time with her. She was kind of fun to
 > hang around with, though she had a tendency to attract trouble.

Unlike him.  Nope, nope, nope.

 > Ranma grabbed Kachiko by the shoulder and forced her behind him.
 > "These guys look dangerous. You'd better let me handle this."
 >
 > "Okay." Kachiko took off running in the opposite direction.
 >
 > Ranma watched in stunned silence as for the first time ever,
 > Kachiko did as she was told. It was unbelievable. Women never
 > listened to him. What did he do to make her listen, and more
 > importantly, what could he do to make her do it again?

She does have a remarkably practical outlook, but her compliance in this 
case is simply a result of her own agenda.

 > Content with the knowledge that Ranma could handle himself against
 > some smelly biker gang, Kachiko returned to her original objective.
 > Rather than continuing her pursuit of Soun and Hinako from
 > overhead, she decided to take a more preventative measure by
 > scouting ahead of the pair. It was easy enough, knowing which
 > restaurant they were going to limited the number of paths they
 > could take to it. Her precaution paid off as she spotted a
 > suspicious looking pack of women clustered around the middle of the
 > sidewalk, one street away from the restaurant. They appeared to be
 > idly hanging around, but a closer inspection showed wary gazes that
 > shouted out they were looking for someone in particular and wanted
 > to do something other than offering them a cigarette.

Cigar?

 > Face swelling slightly, Kachiko shifted into an attack stance. She
 > might have taken the gang girl lightly, but no longer. The leader
 > had some true {
 >
 > :} potential, and odds said there were a few more in the gang that
 > could make Kachiko break a sweat. Worse, there was no time left to
 > posture. Soun and Hinako could appear at any moment. If they came
 > upon a fight, especially one with Kachiko involved, it would ruin
 > everything. Lacking the time needed to defeat the girls either as a
 > group or one at a time, Kachiko had to focus all of their attention
 > on her and lure them away from the street.

 > One thing immediately sprang to mind. It was something that
 > crossdressing pervert, Yumi used to do when Kachiko's guard was
 > down, leaving her enraged for days afterward. It took months to
 > master the technique, all for the purpose of understanding it
 > enough to form an effective counter to it. The very thought of
 > using the attack against another girl made Kachiko sick to the
 > stomach, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Is Yumi related to Ukyou?

 > The CLAP had found her again.

Should have worn golashes.

 > Kachiko looked at the finger the panties dangled from, the one that
 > was leveled at the CLAP. "I can explain! This isn't what it looks
 > like!"
 >
 > "That's what they all say," the leader of the CLAP intoned
 > menacingly as he stepped toward Kachiko. The other men followed
 > suit.

And it never works.

 > The pair continued their casual stroll until they arrived at their
 > destination. The outside of the restaurant was sedate, if tasteful.
 > They entered and informed the {maitre d' : maitre'd} of their
 > reservation. The service proved itself outstanding as the maitre'd
 > {was quick usher : quickly ushered} them toward their table. As they
 > sat down, Soun noticed their arrival had drawn the stares of many
 > people, mostly men, who looked upon Hinako with lust and at Soun with
 > envy. The former made him irritated and defensive; Hinako was with
 > him, and they had no business looking at her as though they could have
 > her.  The latter made him fill with pride. He was unable to remember
 > the last time anyone was envious of him, even if it was only for the
 > company he kept.

 > Soun and Hinako {exited : left} the restaurant, giggling
 > inappropriately loud. The wine undoubtedly had a great deal to do
 > with it. Things had gone so well after the collision with the waiter
 > that Soun splurged and ordered a bottle of wine, and a not altogether
 > inexpensive one at that. Despite the cost, the atmosphere had been
 > too perfect to pass up. It had definitely been the correct choice.

 > Just as Soun's grip started to loosen, Hinako's own hands came to
 > {engulf : trap} his, making certain they stayed right where they were.
 > The intention was unmistakable.

 > The voice cut through the building aura of mutual passion that had
 > tuned out the rest of the world. Reminded that they were in the
 > middle of a public street, and what they had been doing, Soun
 > withdrew his hands as though Hinako's skin had caught fire. Hinako
 > {firmed : adjusteed} her outfit, which had ridden up during her
 > falling and rising from the ground.

 > "I am Kenji Yasuroka. A student whose life you tormented until it
 > drove me {toward : to} the brink of insanity."

Fortunately he's still quite insane.

 > Soun shook his head. "I could hardly call myself a martial artist
 > if I allowed something as simple minded as this fool to ruin one of
 > my dates."
 >
 > Hinako couldn't believe her ears. "Look at him! He isn't even
 > human!"
 >
 > "He's nothing compared to my old martial arts master," Soun assured
 > her.

True.

 > Soun {side stepped : sidestepped} the rush, leaving one foot sticking
 > out. The Gargoyle tripped over the extended foot. Soun helped add
 > velocity to the rush by pushing on the demon's back, taking his turn
 > to send the demon headfirst into the wall.

 > "And you are a true man," Hinako {all but swooned : gushed} as she
 > grabbed him by the face and kissed him long and hard.

 > It was past midnight by the time Soun forced himself to return to
 > his home. He had tried going out to a bar to drown his sorrows and
 > trick himself into thinking he had done the right thing, but he had
 > no desire to taste alcohol. So instead he walked around Nerima,
 > alone, just like he had been in so many ways since his wife died.
 > His life, as defined by others, was exclusively that of 'father',
 > and with the return of Saotome, {' friend' : 'friend'}, but only with
 > a woman could be become 'lover' again. He had a chance tonight, but he
 > turned it away, and no amount of drink could convince him
 > otherwise.

 > When the sun eventually crested the horizon and filled the room
 > with yellow light, it was a new day dawning in more ways than one.
 > But it wasn't really a surprise.
 >
 > Absolution made everything better, after all.

That was a powerful scene.  Healing Soun may be the most important 
result of Kachiko's return.

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