At 06:13 PM 1/29/2004 -0800, Scott Jamison wrote:
Well....
Mrs. Tsukino's big reveal--kinda flat, after that buildup. I also
expected Makoto to get in a line someplace. I would have liked to
have seen more consequences.
Delayed gratification ...
Ranma gets a power-up--long. Too long, really. And shouldn't Eiko
have adjusted its speech patterns to better communicate with its
symbiote by now? Eiko comes across, as in the last couple of
chapters, as very arrogant in its assumptions. Eiko may have access
to a more complete database than others, but it seems to have decided
that that makes it absolutely right on *every* subject.
I'm really looking forward to Eiko getting a smackdown/reality check.
You said the same thing about the four cousins. Do I detect a bit of a
pattern here? :)
As far as Eiko's speech patterns, I've been depicting those in a reasonably
consistent manner over the chapters. Eiko pontificates ponderously, whereas
Ranma is inclined to jump right in before asking questions. There is a nice
dynamic tension between the two that will evolve quite nicely.
... and for Eiko's "arrogance"? It has good reason to believe in its own
judgement. Note that a few visible cracks are beginning to develop, however.
Ranma lords it over Setsuna--enh. Given that she and Eiko have
*very* different memories of the split, and Eiko having a corrupted
database, I'm not so sure Setsuna is in the wrong here. Especially
since I don't believe that Setsuna would choose a future where
massive unnecessary death happened unless the alternative was much,
much worse.
All I can say here is that you've missed some very obvious hints.
Kasumi's not-quite-leet-enough psychic skillz--honestly, she's the
least interesting of the Tendou family to have a reaction shot here.
Sorry.
*shrugs*
Differing opinions abound ...
Silence Returns--the most interesting thing in the chapter. And Eiko
should really get a slapdown for this.
I will remind you that I am using the *anime* senshi for the Sailor Moon
characters and background of this story.
Don't blink or you'll miss it--Nodoka, Nabiki, Grandma, the actually
lesbian sister. Nothing new with any of these, really. Except the
promise of yet *more* characters to try to keep track of in a couple
of chapters. I still can't remember which kunoichi sister is which;
they really need some more good individuating.
The four cousins are being developed. Not as quickly as you wish,
apparently, but in line whith the storyline's demands. I suspect that if
you were to read this story from the beginning and jot down the personality
characteristics of each character as you encounter them, you would likely
find that there is quite a bit more character development enclosed that you
have currently been willing to parse.
Usagi gets a infodump offstage--I wonder how different that was from
the one Ranma got? The final thought from our gentle princess who
tries never to use force if there's an alternative didn't sit
well....
There is more than one interpretation to her ending statement, a few of
which are quite in line with her normal personae.
In summary, not really a very interesting chapter; way too much time
spent on Eiko being superior and Ranma upgrading. Not nearly enough
time spent on consequences.
*nods* Another "No Sale". Quite acceptable given your previous feedback.
However, I happen to enjoy spinning this particular story at the moment, so
I'm afraid you'll just have to put up with me for a while longer.
BTW, thanks for the comments!
============================================================
Mark Shurtleff
email: gaijin@sfcmd.com
irc alias: Gaijin -or- togashi_gaijin
fanfiction homepage: http://www.sfcmd.com/fanfic
============================================================
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