Suggested changes: {before : after}
On 01/26/2004 09:35 PM, Bill Heineman wrote:
I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or make me
write buggy software.
Too late.
Miss Hinako poked her head out of the bag with a strained look on her
face, "I gotta go potty!"
Not "Are we there yet?"?
Kiima landed a moment later, took a look around at the few passersby
and ordered. "Koruma, alert the {retainer : chamberlain} that we've
returned." "Yes, Captain!" Masara saluted and waited until Kiima
entered the bathhouse and was out of sight. He pulled down an eyelid
and stuck out his tongue at his superior, then stood at attention,
utterly bored and patiently {awaiting : waiting} for an hour to pass.
That was the time for the next exciting episode {to air on TV :}.
Kiima looked around the tiny hut trying to find her brainwashed
minion. Windows, covered with translucent cloth curtains to let light
in and prevent viewing from prying eyes, encircled the room giving
plenty of illumination. In the center was a small pit lined with
concrete that made a nice {swimming :} pool for bathing. Inside of
the pool was a shivering and drenched little girl. She reached out a
comforting hand and cooed. "There, there, let me help you."
Kiima sighed and held her head in her hand in dismay. "Why do I get
the weird ones?" She counted to ten and found no relief. She counted
to ten again to calm her nerves. She went to a small clothes closet
next to the towel rack and extracted a small cheongsam for the
micro-teacher {to wear :} and set it on a small changing table near
the stall.
I don't think she's going to eat it.
"The {retainer : chamberlain} told me himself. We're to present the
map directly to our Lord at once."
{"Okay." Answered : "Okay," answered} Hinako in a sultry voice and
adult's body. She clenched her fist around her Japanese fifty yen
coin with a defiant look. "Hmmph." She sneered and closed up the
toilet stall curtain.
They flew for only a moment, taking in the familiar sights of the
place they called home, before they landed at the ornate door that
was the entrance to the sanctified lair of their people's living god.
Kiima paused for a moment as the gravity of what she was about to do
sunk in. She was going to see her Lord Saffron. Only the royal
{retainer : chamberlain} and a few select servants were allowed near
their leader since he had been reborn. She studied the carvings in
the massive doors, remembering her history lessons. Reliefs of their
Lord, shining light and warmth upon his people, were scattered among
images of great battles and other historical events. She was proud
to {be of great use to : serve} her master. Holding onto the map for
comfort, she knocked on the door.
A sound of a wooden board{, :} being slid aside answered her request
for entry. Clanking and creaking signaled the door's imminent
opening. Parting inward, the interior of the palace was seen as a
long hallway lined with lit torches and a beautiful red carpet with
intricate designs of birds of all species. A guard appeared from
behind the door and bowed to the three. With an open hand, he pointed
the way to their {Earthbound : earthbound} deity.
Kiima and her two companions respectfully bowed to the guard in
return and went inside while the doors loudly shut behind them.
Following the carpet, they came to a large door with a symbol of a
Phoenix on it. The royal {retainer : chamberlain}, a regal looking
old Chinese man with bird wings and claws for hands bowed and spoke.
"I will {alert his majesty to : announce} your presence. Wait here."
He remained bowed for several minutes, waiting for his lord to give
him an answer. His spine creaked from the strain of staying in this
uncomfortable position for too long. The elder slowly lifted himself
to {exit backwards : back} out the doorway when he spied his
prince's head resting at an odd angle. Fearing the worst, he rushed
in to check on the health of his great leader only to find that what
he had thought was his master was a crudely made dummy.
Deep in a jungle in the wilds of Japan, a lone {traveller : traveler}
made his way slowly through the dark brush. Pushing aside another
branch, he growled as he found another large rock blocking his path.
A swan shaped training potty smacked the wanderer on the head in
response. "You're in Nerima{: ,} you idiot."
And Mousse knew he had the perfect bait. An all expense {: paid} trip
to Jusenkyo. Ranma would never turn that down in a thousand years.
Nice plan, but Sailor Sun would not be interested.
"Greetings, welcome to Ucchan's." Konatsu bowed to their newest
customers. Taking the couple to a small booth, he handed them their
menu and proceeded to take their orders. Dressed in a beautiful
cotton kimono with an Ucchan's logo on his apron, Konatsu was doing
what he did almost as {good : well} as he {was : did as} a kunoichi,
waitressing.
Ukyou took the order sheet, read it, and poured the batter on the
heating surface. "Order comin' right up, Sugar." She smiled as she
did {the thing : what} she was born to do; cook okonomiyaki.
"I'm sorry Ukyou, but I had other matters to attend to." She checked
the back of her uniform for any more roses and sighed in relief that
she {was : had been} successful in removing all of the offending
flora from her person. She produced her Mercury computer and opened
it, turning it on. "Now, I need to scan you. It won't hurt a bit."
Ukyou and Konatsu went white in terror. Even Kuno may not deserve the
full wrath of Nabiki Tendo. The tall girl uttered in horror{.
"She's: , "she's} taking care of it?" She then lifted the edges of
her mouth ever so slightly into a devilish grin. "Can't think of a
better person for that to happen to, don't you agree Ko-chan?"
Ukyou sat silent for a moment thinking about all of her adventures
with the Nerima wrecking crew. Nothing came to mind except...
"Wait... Ranchan said there's something wrong with my ki." She held
out her left hand for Mercury to see. "When I was healed at the
hospital room. He said that {I've : I} got your ki."
Dozens of bird warriors heeded the call and pulled back, following
their Captain into the sky. They circled for a moment then scattered
as archers {flung : shot} arrows at them. The Amazons collected in
the center of their town, all of them watching the sky for a return
attack.
"She admits it. Guards, take her away." Gel snarled with hate filled
eyes. "For the crimes of failing to fulfill your obligations under
Amazon law, you'll be punished."
That sounds a bit like one of Sailor Moon's lines.