> fallen and hurt herself, or the young men who had a strain from working 
to hard here or

"...from working -too- hard here..." - remember, 'to' and 'too' are 
different words.

 > With a sigh, I set about fixing the young officers broken fingers, and 
splinting up

"...the young -officer's- broken fingers,..." - you want the possessive, 
not the plural.

 > to the back of my mind, I set out on the day's run for medicine components.

The last phrase feels a little 'off' to me. In your place I'd use something 
like
"...run for medical supplies."

*shrug* Up to you.

 > this into my hand, only saying that he knew where it should go." After 
handing me a
 > small pouch, he disappeared."

I'm guessing from the extra quote here that what you're shooting for is 
something like:

"...only saying that he 'knew where it should go.' After..."

 > "Very well, I will accept this on the condition that you all come and 
visit me on
 > occasion. It gets quiet in my home, and I always like company. Is that 
understood?"

It might help here to include some kind of indication of just how she's 
saying the
line, like adding a "You leave me no choice, Cratchett..." tease as she's 
giving
her condition.

Realizing that I am still in his arms, and that now he has his arms gently 
holding
me in an embrace rather than trying to restrain me, I can't help but be 
content, until I
realize that his right hand has wandered MUCH lower than it should�

I'm not sure if it's intentional, but some smartquote feature or other has 
rendered
the ellipses in this as single characters. You can keep them if you like, 
but I'd advise
against it - they're harder to read than the normal kind (three actual 
periods, like so...),
and anything set to stay strictly with plain text will render them as garbage.

        Well, it's not like treating one more person today isn't going to 
hurt me," as I
bandage the silly rooster heads much-violated skull�

ITYM '...person today -is- going to...' - as written, it's a double negative.

Overall, I think it works well. Your grammar and sense of flow could use a 
little bit
of work, but that's mostly by way of being polish. The story itself could 
stand as is
or be turned into a sort of mystery for dramatic 'oomph'.

Serious commentary out of the way... Wai! Wicked Tribe -likes-! More! More! 
Want more!
I wanna see what happens next!


Blessed be.
-n
(My god, I've turned into a grammar weenie...)




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