It was early morning when Tomo burst into the classroom and headed
toward
her favorite target, who also happened to be her best friend.
Tomo said happily to Yomi, "Voulez-vous choucher avec moi se soir?"
*facefaults through the floor*
Well, that's cutting right to the chase...
Tomo stated proudly, "I learned it last night. It's a standard French
greeting. It means something like, 'How are you doing?'" Actually,
that was
what Tomo assumed it meant given the context it had been used. Lacking
any
French dictionaries, she had been forced to resort to looking around
the
house for something in French to teach her the language.
Stylistic choice, but I'd split up this paragraph into two or three at
some point.
Eventually she
stumbled upon a videotape her father had tucked away in a small box
under
his bed. It had a title that sounded French, 'Deluxe Menage a Trios,'.
Should be "sounded French, 'Deluxe Menage a Trois.'"
She
grabbed it, assuming that after she watched it a few times, she'd get
the
gist of the language.
Ah, the Bart Simpson Language School ^_^
However, she hadn't gotten five minutes through the
first scene when her father caught her watching it and immediately
ejected
it from the player, scolding her for taking something that wasn't
hers. The
only phrase she had picked up on was a scene with a man and a woman
when he
asked her that and she answered. Tomo assumed she must have felt
pretty
well, as the two began making out after she answered.
Whoa! All things considered, she must have been pretty desperate :P
It was just getting
interesting when Tomo's father found her and appropriated the tape.
Yomi shrugged and answered, "Fine."
Hmm. I think it would flow better if you moved this reply immediately
after Tomo's explanation, and follow it up with the videotape context.
Tomo turned to Osaka. "Voulez-vous choucher avec moi se soir?"
"Buono," Osaka said enthusiastically.
XD
Random Trivia: Osaka does know a tiny bit of French in the manga (vol.
3.) When introduced to Tadakichi, a Great Pyrenees, she recognized him
as a "Frenchman" and greeted him accordingly :P
Osaka: Tadakichi-san furansujin ka? (pause) Tadakichi si vous plait!
Kaorin was just entering the classroom when Tomo turned to Sakaki and
repeated, "Voulez-vous choucher avec moi se soir?"
"Okay," Sakaki answered.
And it was as if a million doujin artists cried out in unison...
Kaorin stopped instantly, paling as though all of the blood drained
out of
her. A look of complete devastation crossed her features.
...and were suddenly silenced.
She then began
crying at the top of her lungs, and ran out of the room at top speed.
Poor Kaorin, always getting the short end of the stick.
The trio of girls watched in confusion at where the display had taken
place.
"I wonder what was that all about," Osaka said.
Tomo shrugged. "Maybe Kimura-sensei sent her a love letter."
Gah. Mental image of Kimura de Bergerac. Unclean!
Yukari entered the room, looking in irritation over her shoulder and
back
out in the hall. "Darn kids. Why can't they cry quietly in a corner
instead
of running around and nearly bowling innocent teachers over?" she
growled.
*enrolls Shinji as her new student*
"Voulez-vous choucher avec moi se soir?" Tomo asked happily.
Yukari paled. The teacher drew back, as though she was a vampire and
Tomo
was a cross.
XD THAT image alone was worth the price of admission!
(BTW, "as though she were")
Upon reentering the hall, she slid the door to the classroom
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Indeed, this is more X-TREME than Vin Diesel could ever hope to be :P
"You remember that little one time incident back in college I had with
Yohko?"
And so, Yukari's brief and failed career as the 109th Demon Hunter rears
its ugly head.
"But you're kind of masculine-looking and a female gym instructor. I
just
figured everyone assumes you swing 'that way' and girls hit on you all
the
time."
Alas, Yukari never lived to see her next birthday. Maybe she had
mistaken Nyamo for one of the unnamed male students that has the same
hairstyle?
Yukari began drawing back. "Maybe I'd better not be seen with you
anymore.
If we keep hanging around together, people will think we're involved
with
one another. Besides, even I was that way, I wouldn't want people to
think
I'm desperate."
"even if I were that way" -- unless that was deliberate.
Kurosawa turned red at the implication. "Any woman would be happy to
date
someone like me!"
It was at that moment Kurosawa heard a collective gasp behind her. Her
heart
nearly sank into her stomach as she turned to see the majority of her
students had slid back the door to the class and poked their heads out
to
see how their homeroom teacher was doing.
And instantly, nearly half the class looked at her with huge pink hearts
in their eyes.
Chiyo entered the classroom and bowed. "Sorry I'm late. I overslept."
Chiyo: I had a dream where a stuffed yellow Osaka-san with wings was
telling me to chase some cards... And Sakaki-san kept videotaping
everything I did and making me costumes...
"Voulez-vous choucher avec moi se soir?" Tomo asked.
Chiyo considered that. "Well, I haven't been on a sleepover since I
was in
fifth grade, but I guess I could."
Aww. Innocence Shield, engage!
Yomi's reaction was somewhat more irate as she scowled at Tomo. "You
idiot."
Um, no exclamation mark? I kinda expected it after the "more irate."
"My answer remains the same," Sakaki said silently.
Tomo stopped in mid-laugh and became statue still.
Kaorin burst out crying and fled from the room once again.
One of these days, Kaorin will snap at Tomo for unwittingly one-upping
her at every turn.
"A sleepover would be fun," she said every bit as innocently as Chiyo
had
moments before.
Riiiiiiight. *whacks Sakaki with the Clue Cat*
Heh. Nice, short and extremely funny. Good job!
Jorge A. Pratt
jorgepratt@prodigy.net.mx
terbril@rocketmail.com
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