Let me preface this by saying that what I know about Ruroni Kenshin is based
completely on the dubbed anime that appeared on television.  I don't know if
they dubbed the entire RK series or not, so anything beyond what they showed
is also beyond my knowledge.  (The anime ends with RK&co. heading back to
the dojo after the climactic battle in Tokyo.)  I have zero knowledge of the
manga.

I lack the grace to say I am sorry
I lack the power to say you are right
I lack the will to try and fight
I lack the love to be apart

I like it.  Yours or someone else's?

the young mother who's daughter had

whose

or the young men who had a strain from working to hard

too hard

It was shaping up to be a totally normal day, until, at ten
thirty; the police again visited my shop, this time carrying
one of their own.

Awkward sentence, with a semi-colon placement that seems wrong.  Try
restructuring it and breaking it up into two sentence.  "So far it had been
a totally normal day.  Then, at about ten-thirty, the police again visited
my shop, this time carrying one of their own."

I set about fixing the young officers broken fingers,

officer's

The bartender, a young man by the name of Tendo stopped
me for a moment, and warned me to beware,

=)  I've read a couple of fanfics that are based on the assumption that
Kenshin is an ancestor of Ranma's.

living well outside the normal borders of the town,
and it's implied protection.

its implied

"I canno." I began, only to be interrupted by Tai.

This would be better written, I think, as:

"I canno-" I began, only to...

Kenji had run around, causing nothing but a general
stir when he had suddenl. I stopped dead in my tracks.

Again, I think a dash would be good.  Plus it might be best to have the
"dead in my tracks" as a separate paragraph.  i.e.:

Kenji had run around, causing nothing but a general stire, when he had
suddenl-

I stopped dead in my tracks.

Someone was watching me.  I could....

Hearing a sound behind me, I quicken my pace, and move
towards the safety of my small home, set in the brightly light
strip of the ginza.

Sudden change from past participle to present tense.  It would be best to
maintain some consistency, choose one tense and stick with it throughout the
story.

Silly man.  He should have just come and visited
me, not tried to tear my hometown apart beforehand.

<chuckle>  I can hear her saying this, too.

as I bandage the silly rooster heads much-violated skull.

silly rooster head's

Nice vignette.  =)  Not a complete story but still satisfying to read.  Good
pacing, good writing, not too dense.  Kudos.

-Richard

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