Catching up on my C&C backlog
Elin B <elbju@yahoo.se> writes:
This was in late August, a month or so after the Unholy Big Row between
Akane and Nabiki. It was also after Kasumi had started to attend an
evening class, with a peculiar older man in the same class who had just
begun to pop up in the neighbourhood, making her family members a tad
nervous and suspicious. The Great Piglet Revelation was still in the
future, but not very far off anymore. On other fronts, Shampoo was still
blissfully unabducted, and Konatsu had yet not stumbled upon the recipe
for Benten�s Love Dumplings.
I thought this went rather well. Made me think of someone retelling a
tall tale, with other familiar tales being mentioned to put it in
context.
They had been talking a little about Soun Tendo�s recent decision, which
Here it seems odd to use both names for Soun. It makes it sound like
Ranma and Akane are using the names.
he had announced last night at dinner. Apparently. Soun�s cousin, who
lived over in Vancouver in Canada, was going to visit Tokyo for a
week-long visit, the first time in years. Naturally, he had asked if the
Tendos could put him up. For some reason, this had made Soun decide to
open the dojo up for classes again. He wanted the Saotomes, especially
his prospective son-in-law, to help out with the teaching. They had
several weeks to advertise and prepare themselves, since the cousin
wasn�t coming until late in September. (He would, in fact, be arriving
right in the agitation of the Great Piglet Revelation, and get a rather
skewered view of his host family as a result.)
skewed
Ranma had just admitted to Akane that he was a little concerned that he
might scare people away at first.
"I�m used to the way Pop�s been training me," he had said. "And, you
know, I am pretty damn good. But you can't use those training methods
on beginners. Maybe people are just going to get discouraged, if they
start off thinking they can reach any real levels of martial arts
without really applying themselves."
Thoughtful Ranma. (Not that there's anything wrong with that :-)
Akane had attempted to flick watermelon seeds at him, but he ducked them
easily.
"Well, you've never really taught before, did you?" she said. "You know
how to fight, but not teach.�"
"Well, neither do you," Ranma pointed out.
She nodded. "But Dad isn�t leaning on me to help out,� she said, �though
he might later. _You�re_ the one who�s supposed to take over the dojo,
after all." She gave him a shy look from under her bangs.
Ranma reddened for just an instant, but did not respond directly to the
last bit.
"All right, so I don�t have any experience of that stuff," he said. "But
you�ve got to start somewhere." A thoughtful look came into his eyes. He
turned and looked at his fiancee, tilting his head. "Say, do you want to
become my first student?" he said, nonchalance mingled with hope in his
voice.
Akane's eyes opened wide. "I mean," Ranma continued, "you did say just
the other day that you wanted to be better, so that you could handle
people like that latest loonie by yourself if you had too..." He trailed
had to
"You were slower when I first came here. A good deal so," said Ranma
seriously. "But most everyone else have gotten better too, so you can�t
really tell."
"Huh. Then I�m running to stay in place," she said pensively. She
shifted uneasily. But do I want to be part of the race that badly? she
wondered.
"So, whaddya say?" asked Ranma. "I do need to learn how to teach, after
all," he added, rather more quietly.
And that was when Akane had said no. No, she didn�t want to, not
now.
Nice building up of expectations, and then tearing them down. In
general I liked the tone of this scene; it conjured up a lazy
afternoon for me.
"Because," she said slowly, "I think I need to do it alone. I mean, of
course I�ll need a sensei... But I think I�ll look for someone who
doesn�t already know me. I need to find my own way of doing things."
"Oh," said Ranma. "So... you don�t think I could hack it as a teacher,
then?" He was not sure how he felt about this. Part of him did feel a
little wounded at this lack of faith, though he supposed it made sense.
Part of him felt somewhat relieved: for some reason, there was something
a little alarming about the thought of holding private training sessions
with Akane. But he also felt a little disappointed, at the very same
time.
You zig, zag,zigged here, I think.
Akane thought: but what if I don't find my own way? What if all a
teacher can do is to tell me that I won't ever get much better than I am
now? Then what will I do?
She had to be prepared for something like that, she told herself. After
all, she was not Ranma. When he grit his teeth stubbornly and fought
on,
gritted
he found a way to succeed in the end. When she did the same, she still
failed, more often than not. Perhaps because she didn't think of
changing the rules, like he did.
It wasn't as if she could just give up martial arts completely and
become a couch potato. Not that she wanted to, of course - but as long
as she was engaged to Ranma, it would be crazy not to keep in shape and
to keep up basic self-defense training. But perhaps, if she chose to,
she would no longer be a martial artist, merely someone who knew how to
fight a little. She would no more issue challenges, nor accept them.
'would not issue challenges anymore' sounds a bit better
AUTHOR'S COMMENTS: This came about from my wish to write a contemplative
piece, and to write more densely than I usually do. Feedback would be
much appreciated, whether critical or not. This is my first work of
fanfiction in prose.
I rather enjoyed this. A quiet little piece that stays with you.