Okay, C&Cing a spamfic is worse than useless (since by
definition it is spam, therefore won't be refined and
was written for a cheap chuckle, or if it is refined a
bit and reposted, it's then warmed over spam,
perpetuating a continuing cascade of spam, nay, a sea
of spam upon helpless, caffiene adled minds), but I
feel like tilting at windmills for a bit tonight!
*GRIN*
--- EvilStratagemini@aol.com wrote:
Something Different
Aren't they all...
A Spamfic by Stratagemin
I've always wondered why unwanted email is called
Spam....here in Alaska, residents consume more Spam
per capita than any other state...
We all know Stories where something different
happens that first day, that
fateful day when Ranma meets the Tendos. This is
something a bit different.
I do not own Ranma 1/2. Said series belongs to
Rumiko Takahashi.
It was a dark and stormy night. A Redheaded girl and
what appeared to be her
Okay, good Bulwar-Lytton start. Just like Snoopy.
trained pet panda walked down the street. "Hey pops,
where are we going?" the
girl posed to the panda.
Why did she pose? Was someone taking pictures?
The panda held up a sign. "To visit my old friend
Soun Tendo, we trained
together under the dreaded master." he flipped the
sign around. "Before you were
born you were engaged to one of his daughters."
Okay, who put the stop payment on my reality check? A
girl is going to marry a girl?!? Granted, there are
probably only 2 people on the planet that have heard
of anime that don't know that Ranma changes gender
with the application of various temps of water, but
unless you explain that, we will be left wonder just
what SORT of spamfic this is.
"What?" the girl asked credulously. "Let me read
that again. I could have
sworn it said that I was engaged to some chick I've
never met."
put an "in" in front of credulously. Will flow
better.
The Panda raised up another sign. "That's right
boy." He flipped it. "The
honor of the Anything Goes School is staked on this
engagement!"
Ouch, being staked hurts.
The girl started to panic, "Oh no, You ain't gonna
run my life pops! You
can't pick who I will or won't marry!" and with that
the girl turned to run away.
The panda lunged at her as she started to sprint
down the wet street, but she
escaped. The panda lunged again just as they passed
a large convention hall,
but the girl jumped out of its grasp.
Two lungings...might want to eliminate one for better
flow.
"Yo! Cut that out!!!" the girl shouted as she threw
her backpack to the side
and jump kicked the panda. Bystanders started to
murmur amongst themselves,
some pointing to the Panda others pointing to the
Banners that adorned the
convention hall; a beautiful woman entered the hall.
Gotta admit, I didn't catch the foreshadowing the
first time I read this.
The Panda spat and lowered itself into a martial
arts stance. The Girl did
the same. "Your move." The Girl spoke.
GROSS! Panda Spit! Man, disembowled bodies aren't
nearly as gross!
The Panda launched itself at the Girl and threw a
flurry of lightning fast
It's snowing punches of lightning? Oops, wrong kind
of flurry....
punches. All of which missed. As the Girl caught the
Panda's arm she spoke once
more "Well, I still say, this whole thing sucks!
Picking my fianc�e for me
without even asking!"
Hmmm...I know a few folks where that would be the ONLY
way they'd get engaged...and the engagement would last
right up until their prospective spouse met
them...then would take a vow of chastity or
something....
At this she threw the large mammal to the ground
with a mighty thud. "I'm
going back to china! Suck on that old man."
Personally I've always thought Genma was more
vegetable.
By now a large crowd had gathered, but as they
parted to allow the girl to
pass something remarkable happened. Out from the
Convention Center by the
hundreds streamed women. Each wearing a small black
and white button sporting the
words "Anything Goes Female Panda Liberation
Society"
Oh NO! NOT the AGFPLS! Well better a Society than an
Army.
The ensuing violence was not pretty to watch. Large
comic cries of pain
issued from the dog pile,
Panda Pile?
and when the "Anything
Goes Female Panda Liberation
Society" finally finished dispensing their own brand
of fuzzy justice the Redheaded
Girl was bruised and unconscious.
Redheaded shouldn't be capitalized.
The Panda by now was awake. It casually lifted the
girl onto its shoulder and
pulled out a sign. The sign read, "I could have done
that too you know." Many
bystanders face faulted in shock. The Panda walked
off in the pouring rain.
Okay, you probably figured out this was done tongue in
cheek. However there are two things I'd like to
honestly compliment you on:
1. Excellent characterization of Ranma's speech
patterns. You used some direct lines from the anime
(I have only read a little of the Manga, none if it
early in the series), but the rest flows like Ranma's
regular speech patterns.
2. Great use of a wacky group. I can never seem to
come up with oddball, way out there stuff (which is
stock in trade for the Ranmaverse) like the AGFPLS.
My hat is off to you for that.
Have a great day!
=====
Papa 51 Productions
Creator of Anime Music Videos and Anime Fanfics
http://www.angelfire.com/anime5/papa51/
The average pilot, despite the sometimes swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring. These feelings just don't involve anyone else.
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