Subject: [FFML] [Spamfic] Re: [C&C] Re: [fanfic] [Slayers] The Wedding of Miss Lulu (rated PG-13 for comedic violence.)
From: Adrian Tymes
Date: 1/15/2004, 9:03 PM
To: ClassicDrogn <kaiju_jutsu@worldconquer.org>, Zelgadis Greywood <zelgadisgreywood@chez-vrolet.net>, ffml@anifics.com


--- ClassicDrogn <kaiju_jutsu@worldconquer.org> wrote:
(Arg, 
the Evil lobe of my brain just pictured Slayers in a
variant Pokemon 
setting where the monsters are all various forms of
chimera...)

---

"They WHAAAAT?!?"

Zelgadis had braced for her reaction, but Amelia's
ear-piercing shriek still hurt enough to make him
wince.  "According to their laws, any chimera not
already owned by a human is fair game to be caught.
After that, they have magic devices that make sure no
captured chimera ever *wants* to get away, unless
released.  If we are going to pass through, I will
have to pose as yours."

"I...that's..."  Amelia pointed towards the town.
"That may be the law of the land, but it is an
intolerable one!  Enslaving people just because they
happen to be unnatural constructs is wrong!  I,
Princess Amelia wil Tesla Saillune, will not stand for
it!"

Zelgadis sighed, muttering a prayer before resigning
himself to his fate.  "You won't have to."

Still with her back to him, Amelia continued, "Don't
try to talk me out of it!  I know it'll be just you
and me against everyone in that city, but we can do
it!"

"Do what?  Beat them up until they change their ways?"

"Well..."

"I've got a more effective idea: show them an
alternative.  Let them see how you would rather they
live."

"What did you have in mind?"  Amelia began turning
towards him.

"You will not pretend to be my owner, but my wife."

"..."  Shock and joy egged one another on in her soul,
the resulting exponential increase of emotion easily
visible when her face soon expressed near-supernatural
happiness.

"We would have to be together at all times anyway,
including sleeping in the same room, or someone would
try to catch me.  This way MMMPH!"  Zelgadis staggered
back under the weight of the princess, who had leapt
onto him in an enthusiastic hug and kiss.

Eventually, they broke.  As the golem gasped for sweet
oxygen, the princess breathed, "I do."

---

Amelia barely felt the hot streams flowing down her
cheeks.  All she perceived was her love, glowing in
front of her.

He had warned her about this, even finding a book in
one of their libraries which explained it.  Chimera
owners often pitted their possessions against one
another in combat.  While she was sure Zelgadis was
stronger than any of them, she knew his words were
wise when he advised avoiding unnecessary combat.
Besides the simple fact that they were trying not to
beat everybody up, if she was his pretend wife, she
had every right not to want to see him hurt.  But a
few trainers insisted on pressing matters, or took
such offense at their "marriage" that they viewed
Amelia and Zelgadis as an evil to be vanquished.

A few became several.  Several became many.  And each
time, Amelia convinced herself, a small sliver of her
died when she forced herself not to interfere.
Marriage was not technically illegal; interfering in
chimera fights was, and would result in immediate,
permanent separation from Zelgadis.  There were even
rumors they had means of changing people into chimera,
reserved as a punishment for the most egregious of
lawbreakers.  Amelia had told Zelgadis that she would
prefer actual death to the living death which capture
and mind control seemed to amount to.

And so Zelgadis had fought and won, over and over.
With many victories came a transformation for many
chimera; another aspect of this land's cursed magics.
The text seemed a bit garbled, using terms that they
both knew had very different definitions in the tomes
they were used to.  Zelgadis suspected the
transformation was in body only, but Amelia's reading
of the same text convinced her it would change his
mind as well.  Zelgadis would no longer be Zelgadis.

So blurry was her vision that she did not see the
transformation stop until she became aware of him
shaking her shoulders and calling, "Amelia!  Amelia!
Stop crying, it's okay!"

"Z...Ze-el? *sniff*"  She started blinking away her
tears.

"It didn't happen.  You stopped it."

"I did?"  Her eyes took in his form.  Nothing had
changed.  "I did!"  She eagerly hugged him.  "How?"

"Well...this 'evolution' requires peace and quiet.
That's kind of the opposite of you bawling and yelling
out my name."

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