Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Mon, 12 Jan 2004 09:26:49 -0800 Kevin D. Hammel wrote:
"When I was little, I used to spar with a... boy... named Ranma." The
young man started as his eyes went from the older woman to settle into
a glare at the girl. "Everyday we would fight a little and when he won
he would swipe an {Okonomiyaki : okonomiyaki} off our cart. I really
grew to like Ranma a lot." He shot a glance at the red- haired girl,
trying to see if the color on her scalp was the real color or a dye
job. The face matched her childhood friend perfectly, making Ukyou
very suspicious of the separation between fact and fiction in the
Saotome family.
A sudden rush of pleasant thoughts, of times gone by that Ukyou had
secretly dreamed would return, gave her a feeling she thought she'd
never feel again. She grabbed the hand like a lifeline and pulled
Kikuko into her arms. "I missed you too." How could she blame Kikuko
for what had happened? {And her childhood friend's mother had offered
comfort, not disdain or anger. Hate begat hate. It was hard to
dislike people who had not caused her suffering. Again she felt the
warmth she had missed for so many years, as Kikuko's mom embraced both
of them. :}
Duplicated from a few paragraphs earlier.
"Okay, {mom : Mom}!" Kikuko said as she popped up from her chair.
"Well... I was thinking. The marriage pact can't be fulfilled since
it would hurt Mako-{chan : chan's} feelings. It has been so long
since mother passed away and father is so lonely." Kasumi said while
staring at her two hands as the lay folded in her lap.
"After all," Kasumi continued while staring at her two hands as the lay
folded in her lap. "I think Ki... Ranma was probably in love with
Kino-san before he even came to our home. It wouldn't be fair to them
{force : to} enforce that agreement. They looked so happy together."
"Look at it this {way sis : way, Sis}, Akane hates boys." Nabiki
acknowledged.
"I think so. Father desperately wanted to join the families, and it's
been so empty {here with : there without} Mother."
Nabiki, who had come down the stairs after the commotion made study
impossible, transformed to Charon as soon as her name was mentioned.
She walked over to Kikuko, who offered her prize after turning to the
sound of Charon's heels against the floor.
Nodoka's child offered her treasure to the black clad Sailor Senshi.
"Here, Charon-chan. See if you can figure out what makes this thing
tick."
Kikuko offered the device to Charon twice.
Kikuko walked over to Shampoo, "Shampoo... first off. I don't even
know {it : if} I'd be here today if it wasn't for you. When I
stumbled into your village, I didn't even know if I wanted to live any
more. Or would be able to. Cause my..." Tears interrupted her
speech.
"Is {Okay : okay}, Ranma. Shampoo remember. Respect for elders is
good, even for man. Shampoo was happy to help a warrior, even if Ranma
from outside." Shampoo was now next to her. "Ranma Amazon in
Shampoo's mind. First outsider Shampoo says that to."
Naru turned her head between Shampoo and Kikuko, looking at both people
{strangly : strangely}. "Ranma? Why is she calling you Ranma? Is
that a nickname she gave you?"
"Thanks, Jupiter," she said, grateful for the unspoken communication.
She glanced up at Jupiter, and could see pride in her face, a pride
echoed in Nodoka and Charon's faces. "This is gonna seem really {weird
: weird,} but, when I was training in China with my pop, I got a weird
curse that changes me in water. In fact, it changed me into a..."
"How could he?" She spoke softly to herself and she entered the entry
code to the glass door. Rationality crept in as the girl realized who
she was going to see in a few moments. A person she respected, loved
and had lied to {every : ever} since she became a Sailor Senshi.
"Uhh... {mom}..." Sailor Callisto haltingly tried to speak. The
Silver Rose threw open the window and leapt through to the ground three
stories below. Callisto crunched her face as a painful sounding crash
was heard out the window from a three story fall into a dumpster. A
shriek of a startled cat followed, then a loud banging of trashcans as
the Silver Rose fell out of the dumpster and slipped on more garbage.
Callisto smiled slightly as sounds of honking, yelling of motorists and
screams of "masher" receded into silence.
"Mom, I'm Sailor Callisto, and I have a very important job to do." To
confirm it, she transformed for her mother. Thinking about Kikuko's
confession, she continued, "my friend took a big risk telling me about
herself tonight. And I had to talk to Umino. I decided that what she
did was the right thing to do and I had to tell you, although you kind
of beat me to that one." She beamed for Kikuko's sake. "I don't want
to keep secrets from {you mom : you, Mom}. For everyone's sake," Naru
concluded with a smile.
"Although, this is going to take some getting used to. I'm so proud of
you, {daughter : Daughter}... Thank you for letting me in on your..."
She looked at Naru's uniform, admiring its craftsmanship, "occupation.
Callisto-chan. Still, you're my only child so... try to be safe,
okay?" Naru's mom said, her face now betraying pride and fear... an
expression almost mirroring her daughter's.
"Of course, {mom : Mom}. I'll be careful. All... almost all of us
have parents. And all of us have loved ones. That's why we're doing
this. To protect everybody. But, for me, especially you to keep you
safe, mama." Callisto smiled at her mother as she finished. Both of
them were crying as they embraced each other.
Ukyou had spent a few hours of her own considering how she would
respond. The chance to really put her suffering behind her had finally
come. "Both my folks are dead, so I'd like that a lot, Ms Sao... {mom
: Mom}."
"{Sure mom : Sure, Mom}!" He said, the turned to Ukyou... "Ucchan's
that okay with you? I mean I didn't mean to do anything to hurtcha,
but it just kinda happened. I'm really sorry, though."
"Okay... {mom : Mom}." Ukyou said before she was swallowed in an
embrace by her soon-to-be new mother.
I am sorry this took so long. My life has been a whirlwind the last
three years. I have found I can write again. And, for once, I
actually have a story plotted to conclusion, scene by scene.
I found the previous chapters at http://www.anime.sobhrach.com/~khammel/ .