On Jan 8, 2004, at 1:44 AM, LT MCHORNEY wrote:

Interesting story, although it reads more like an overview or a news 
report
than a story itself.  It would make a good prologue/teaser to a story 
about
a Special Forces team or three invading Beryl's universe.  Especially 
if
they end up there the same time that Sailor Moon and company launched 
their
assault.

One other note, You wrote that bases were going to Charlie and that the
Western US bases were going to Delta.  Many of the people I know 
(those that
aren't in the same line of work at least) wouldn't know what was meant 
by
'Charlie' and 'Delta.'  You might want to amend it to say 'Force 
Protection
Condition Charily and Delta.  While it doesn't go into details about 
what
the different measures are, it's a bit more descriptive about what 
you're
talking about.

Actually, I see another "Virus" here. Humanity is going to eventually 
figure out how to get to where the youmas come from. That means an 
attack with different units. Now, we know the Senshi make it to Beryl. 
That part of the story's been told and is an intrinsical part of the 
Sailor Moon mythos.

But what about the units and the soldiers. What's their story?

-Steve "Komodo" T.
http://www.geocities.com/studio_pc_hub/



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