On Jan 8, 2004, at 1:44 AM, LT MCHORNEY wrote:
Interesting story, although it reads more like an overview or a news
report
than a story itself. It would make a good prologue/teaser to a story
about
a Special Forces team or three invading Beryl's universe. Especially
if
they end up there the same time that Sailor Moon and company launched
their
assault.
One other note, You wrote that bases were going to Charlie and that the
Western US bases were going to Delta. Many of the people I know
(those that
aren't in the same line of work at least) wouldn't know what was meant
by
'Charlie' and 'Delta.' You might want to amend it to say 'Force
Protection
Condition Charily and Delta. While it doesn't go into details about
what
the different measures are, it's a bit more descriptive about what
you're
talking about.
Actually, I see another "Virus" here. Humanity is going to eventually
figure out how to get to where the youmas come from. That means an
attack with different units. Now, we know the Senshi make it to Beryl.
That part of the story's been told and is an intrinsical part of the
Sailor Moon mythos.
But what about the units and the soldiers. What's their story?
-Steve "Komodo" T.
http://www.geocities.com/studio_pc_hub/
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