From: DB Sommer <sommer@3rdm.net>
To: Steve Thesken <sthesken@earthlink.net>
Cc: ffml@anifics.com <ffml@anifics.com>
Subject: Re: [FFML] [Fanfic][Ranma] Quantum Destinies 22 (Part 1 of 2)
Date: Tuesday, January 06, 2004 1:52 PM

Sorry it took me so long to get to this:

*** Heaven  0.000,0.000

Skuld frowned as she sat at her usual terminal in Yggdrasil's datacore,
waiting for the system to respond to her request for a status update.
The two small dolls that looked like super-deformed versions of her
sisters watched sightlessly as she tapped at the keyboard made of solid
light in front of her.

Where are the dolls? Sitting next to her? On the Screen? On her shoulders?

 She raised her hand and pulled aside a second

processing window from the main one, and the scrolling text within it
faintly reflected from her eyes.

That sounds off. I'd change the 'from her eyes' bit

It had been like that for the past several days, and Skuld was growing
concerned.  As Yggdrasil's datacore hummed in the background, she could
somehow detect a faint difference in its tonal harmonics, as if the
crystalline matrix was developing some kind of strain, but there was
nothing she could find wrong when she called up her various analysis
algorithms.  Everything was operating right

operating 'correctly' sounds better than 'right' to me

within its normal working

parameters, if perhaps a little higher than she had ever seen.

The young goddess wished Belldandy was back, but her older sister was
on an extended mission to the Earth realm.  There was Urd, of course,
but Skuld was not about to take her rather vague concerns to her oldest
sister, since the only way she could explain why she was bothered would
be to admit she had been poking around the datafile containing the list
of Probability Nodes for the system, not to mention messing around with
the Destiny Protocols, which was a definite no-no.

Really need to reread previous chapters. I forgot most of that stuff Skuld
had done.

She called up the master index to take another look at the Class One
Probability Nodes, and she was startled to see that another person had
been recently upgraded from Class Three to Class Two and then to Class
One status in rapid succession.  And this one was near the other two.
Multiple spontaneous upgrades within close proximity to each other was
a rare event, to say the least,

'to...least' sounds cliche. Recommend dropping it as it detracts rather than
adding anything

s
and usually preceded a major adjustment

to the reality matrix.

Yes, I suspect one of those is coming uyp shortly with the way things have
been building up around Ranma. :)

A few other people that were cross-indexed with the new Class One Node
had risen in status as well, to Class Two and Three, and all of the
proper authentications were present as with the first two, but there
was still something that felt a bit off about the whole thing.  Skuld
glanced over at Yggdrasil's datacore, puzzled.  What was going on?

Something big, which can be bad or good, depending on your POV

The young goddess nibbled her lower lip, worried about her dreams
again.  Events were beginning to unfold in them that had their birth
here in the present, scary things.  She could sense a sort of pressure
looming in the future, like something leaning against a screen door,
trying to get inside.

If it's an insect, no problem. If it's a bear leaning against it, you're
screwed. :)

*** Earth  0.000,0.000

"Dear, I'm concerned about Manami-chan."

Maho Minami grunted once at his wife's words, and Kunami was relieved
to know he was awake and listening as she sat there in bed next to him.

"She's been dating an awful lot of boys lately.  Why, just last week
alone she went out with four different boys.  And now she's friends
with that Mano girl, Yohko."

Maho: She's probably a slut, like you were at that age. That always gets the
guys interest.

She sniffed disdainfully.  "I knew her mother when I was younger, the
little man-stealing tramp."

If she's anything like her mainstream counterpart, Kunami has her pegged
right.

 Her gaze hardened as she spoke.  "She went

through boys like they were tissue paper or something, so it was no
surprise she had a child out of wedlock.  Why, I've heard that this
Yohko girl is just like her, and she's already had several boyfriends
herself.

Oh? Didn't know Yohko was a player as well, assuming the information is
correct.

  Now she's even involved with Manami-chan's senpai, Kyosuke.

He always seemed like such a nice boy, certainly not the type to take
up with a loose girl like that.  His poor mother."

don't think you need the line break here.

"Yes, I haven't forgotten the recent changes in her appearance.  It's
obvious that she's finally inherited my good looks and blossomed into
quite a beautiful young woman.

Literally overnight. :)

  But she's now at that age where she

should start planning out her future.  Don't you agree?"

Maho: Don't you mean she's at an age where you'll start planning her future?

Kunami: Same difference.

There was another guttural grunt from his side of the bed and a faint
rustling of sheets.

Kunami gave out a relieved sigh.  "I'm so glad you agree, dear.  Now,
I've been giving it a lot of thought, and there's just one thing to do
at this point, before our daughter throws away her future with this
libidinous lifestyle she's pursuing."

For the last two weeks.

She nodded at his grunt.  "Yes, I know we've discussed it before, and
you always felt she was too young.  But now she's also become involved
with that Kisaragi woman as her mentor, still unmarried at her age.
Why, in only a few years, she'll be thirty.  It's shameful!  No, you
can't talk me out of it this time."  She looked out the window.  "But
decent matchmakers are so expensive, so how will we find Manami-chan a
proper young man?"

I'm sure there's a spell somewhere out there that could do it. :)

Maho made a questioning grumble in his throat, and he laid his arm
across his face.  Kunami smiled brightly as she looked back at him.

"Why, that's just a perfect idea, dear.  He's always been well-mannered
whenever he's been over here for study sessions with Manami-chan, and
they've known each other for so many years.  And I'm sure his mother
would be pleased to make a match as well,

Nah. She thinks Manami's a shrew.

                    ******************************

Where had it all gone wrong in her marriage to Tofu?

And so quickly as well.

The marriage ceremony had been beautiful.  Her father had been so stoic
in appearance, but she knew he was contented to see her married, and to
a doctor with a fine career ahead of him.  Her sisters had been envious
of her, especially Nabiki, but they were also openly pleased to see her
married.  It had been a wonderful, magical day.

Like most marriages, they go downhill right after the honeymoon. :)

The months continued to roll on, and pregnancy eluded her.

You think they would have fertility drugs available with the technology they
have.

 Tofu began

drifting away from her, a little bit more with each failed attempt.  He
never yelled at her or struck her, not like some of the other husbands
in their neighborhood would do with their wives, and he never cheated
on her that she could tell.  Instead, he simply began to spend more
time away at work, and the two of them settled into a sort of quiet
desperation as the passion between them gradually faded away to
nothing, if it had ever really existed at all.

Probably not

Kasumi felt a few tears roll down her cheeks and stain her pillow.  It
wasn't fair.  She had done everything properly, playing the role of the
dutiful daughter and then the honorable bride.  She had turned in her
uniform to be a housewife instead, ending a promising career in the
Security Directorate.

Oh? I thought she was still working for some reason

Even in the one thing she had always secretly

taken pride in, her skills as a martial artist, she had been surpassed
by Nabiki.  When had her little sister grown so skilled?  To lose to
her had been humbling.  This wasn't how her story was supposed to end
up, not like this.

Well, it's not exactly over yet. She is only nineteen or so.

As she thought about her life, depression roiling within her, something
suddenly occurred to her.  She rolled over a bit and glanced over her
shoulder at her sleeping husband for a moment before laying back down.
Actually, there was nothing stopping her from simply reactivating her
commission again, to take up the uniform of a Security Directorate
agent once more.  Her husband was hardly ever home as it was, and it
would give her something useful to do with her time, other than cooking
and cleaning in a house where she was by herself most of the time.

Make sense.

A new excitement seemed to fill her, having made the decision.  She
felt she had to tell somebody about it, and the first person she
thought of was Lt. Yusaku Godai, startling her a bit.  She blushed.

Yes, informing one's spouse about your interest in your old career is
usually the first person you should alert.

Kasumi had never felt so attracted to someone else before, like she was
to Lt. Godai, and she would be lying to herself if she tried to deny
it.

Obviously she has a thing for weenie losers, like Kyoko. :)

She smiled wistfully as she thought about the young soldier, only

a few years older than herself.  She had met him by chance at her
father's house, and the feelings he had awoken

I think 'awakened' sounds better, IMO

She had been quite startled by those feelings at first, and she still

think you can drop this 'she'

just not be proper.  No matter how she felt, she was a married woman
after all.  However, if she had never met him, she might never have
made her decision to rejoin the Security Directorate.  So she wanted to
thank him for that, and perhaps he would even be willing to have dinner
with her sometime.  As a friend, of course, she hastily amended in her
thoughts.

Yeah. We'll see how long that one lasts.

As if a burden had been lifted from her, Kasumi finally drifted off
into a contented sleep, feeling that her future was now a much brighter
place than it once had been.

Or at least more interesting.

And as her mind fell to slumber, images

of herself and a certain young soldier of the Empire floated across her
thoughts, and a number of her imaginings were quite scandalous.

They were getting caught embezzeling funds.

                    ******************************

The thrumming sounds of a military helicopter approaching

helicopter's approach (sounds better IMO)

 disturbed the

stillness of the night air.  Dawn was still a little ways off, but the
arrival was expected, due to the recent misfortune that had befallen
the facility.  Losing three prized subjects,

Herb and company.

the result of years of

effort at eugenics and genetic manipulation, had been enough to bring
to this place the man who pioneered both Project Phoenix as well as the
Empire's decades-long study of the so-called Jusenkyo Effect.  It was
also one of the few times he had ever left his private laboratory on
Togenkyo Island in almost a decade.

Hmm. Must have taken care of Toma and company as well.

Two armed soldiers flanked the portly figure of the facility's current
director, Doctor Taiko Gaido.  He appeared Chinese, but he was actually
a third-generation Imperial Citizen, his grandfather having earned the
honor many years ago as a fighter in the Arena.  He sweated nervously
as he waited near the helicopter pad, occasionally mopping his face
with a white cotton handkerchief.  One of his hands was bandaged, from
injuries he sustained during the escape of the three young fugitives.

Heh. Some 'injuries' compared to the deaths others endured.

The helicopter settled down and came to a rest, and a soldier hopped
out of the front area, hurried to the side, and rolled open the door of
the vehicle there.

Can drop 'there'

 A dark shape loomed for a moment in the interior,

lit by the helicopter's cabin lights, and then it emerged, a rotund
figure dressed in a trenchcoat, holding a hat down over its head and
concealing its features.

How mysterious.

Gaido stepped forward.  "Moreau-sensei, Director Saito informed me of
your arrival.  While I am extremely distressed at the circumstances
necessitating your visit, let me start by saying what an honor it is-"

He abruptly stopped as the figure raised one gloved hand and waved it
once sharply, abruptly cutting off his welcoming speech.

Thank  you. :)

 >

"Moreau-sensei has not come here to exchange pleasantries with you,
Gaido-san," said the woman grimly, with a faint accent he could not
quite place.

That would be odd considering you said she's Japanese.

 "

"And you are?"  Gaido turned to face the woman.  He was not used to
being spoken to in such a way.

I think he'd better if Moreau's going to be there for a while.

"I am Moreau-sensei's attach?.

stray '?'

  You will call me Silk.  Now, the doctor

has had a long journey, so I expect you have prepared a room for him to
refresh himself in

think you can ditch the 'in'

Gaido glared at the woman briefly, but then he saw something quite
dangerous in the gaze she directed back at him and quickly backed down.
He bowed to them and gestured with his arm to one side.  "Right this
way, Moreau-sensei, Silk-san."  He then led the way, Moreau stepping up
next to him and matching his pace with his own lumbering gate, still
holding his hat down over his face with a heavy, gloved hand.

That might pique Gaido's curiosity.

"I have my men out scouring the area," Gaido assured them, his comments
more directed at Moreau.  "They may have had a day's lead, but it's
only a matter of time before they're found and brought back.  They've
never been outside the walls of this facility, so they can't possibly
know the terrain."

He's forgetting their animal instincts.

"The doctor has invested a great deal of time and effort into those
three.  They must be returned alive and in good condition.  If they
aren't..."

Silk: Let's just say you won't be either.

  She left the statement hanging, an unspoken threat.

Gaido sweated some more and suddenly

can drop 'suddenly'. Excessive and doesn't add much.

"The doctor is aware of their physical capabilities," Silk commented
calmly.  "But you are right on one thing.  How could they know how to
fight without training?  Someone must have taught them in secret, so I
will be reviewing the security recordings after we've settled in.  It's
possible that something could be discovered there."  She noted from a
change in his posture that Gaido suddenly seemed to be even more
nervous, and her eyes narrowed.  "Is there a problem?"

Heh. He's probably been a bad boy on the side.

Moreau growled, an animal sort of sound.  Gaido cringed a bit at the
unexpected noise, and he was extremely grateful when they entered the
main building.  The two guards made no appearance that they were even
listening to the conversation, but they kept a wary eye on everything.

Just in case Gaido ends up dimissed and they get new management. :)

"Thank you for your welcome, Gaido-san," she said smoothly, opening the
door and letting Moreau walk past her.  "The doctor and I will let you
know what we'll need.

Silk: Besides complete obediance.

She left a startled Gaido behind her as she shut the door.  The look on
his face went from surprised to angry after several moments.  Who did
that woman think she was, addressing him in such a fashion?

The hand of your superior, which means you treat her as such.

Once inside, Moreau finally pulled off his hat, and the furred face of
an Asian gorilla was revealed, more commonly known as a yeti, a beast
thought to be extinct, and his legacy from his early work on Jusenkyo's
secrets.

Heh. People do have a bad tendency to fall in.

Somewhere out there, wandering in that darkness were the prototypes for
Moreau's greatest creation, the Mark-II Newtypes, the next stage in the
evolution of humanity.  But where were they now?  Why had they escaped?
And what were they doing?

Something not good, I'm certain. They have minds of others that can put
those bodies to good use. :)

A hand seized his wrist, suddenly and painfully.

"<What do you think you're doing, you idiot?>" came Herb's voice, her
eyes now open and glaring at him.

Mint: Being stupid. I am an idiot, after all.

Herb: You do a good job of it.

Lime, his senses alert, kept watch on the forest around them for any
movement, but he spared a glance in Mint's direction.  He hoped the
other boy took Herb's warning to heart.  It would damage their chances
of success to indulge in such things.

Hmm. So Lime had more common sense. Interesting.

His own gaze then drifted over to linger on Herb's face, noting how
beautiful it was,

Well, more restraint, anyway.

It was probably a fool's errand, Lime mused, but he would not allow
such thoughts to take root.  Lord Herb had commanded they would find
the source of that signal, so find it they would.  He was a Musk, as
were they all, so failure was not an option.

Yet it happens all the time, so obviously it is an option, just an unwanted
one.

                    ******************************

Mousse settled himself on the cliff and listened for patrols.  He had
been fortunate in being able to retrieve his pack from where it had
fallen, and it rested in a crack in the rocks near him while he took a
rest.

while he rested (sounds better IMO)

 >

"Yes?"  His voice sounded tired, even to himself.  The long days were
really starting to catch up to him.  He resolved to only work until
lunch today.

"Frost is here to see you, sir."

Oh, this should be fun.

"Good.  Send her in."  He shuffled the papers in front of him back into
a rough semblance of order

Yes, trying to pretend he's working for the lower employees' benefit. ^_^

"I-it's about what happened to me that night," said the girl, but her
usual cool and confident tones were absent.  She looked uncertain of
herself as she lowered her gaze to the floor.  "Th-there was a boy, a
trainee of the Institute.  H-he defeated me."  Her voice fell almost to
a whisper as she blushed slightly.  "I-I would like to see him again."

He does work for the Institute.

"So, who is this young man who has caught your eye?" asked Director
Kasuga with keen interest as he studied Frost.  He was curious to know
what young prodigy had finally taken down the undefeated legend, and he
noted idly that the girl was showing more emotion now than he could
ever remember her displaying before, though they were still only brief
flashes.  Even in the midst of a battle, Frost's countenance would
always remain utterly composed and as cool as her namesake, which had
earned her a less respectful nickname from her female peers: 'Robot
Girl.'  It was possible that her defeat had rattled her self-control a
bit.

Or she just found something to be emotional about. :)

"I don't believe it," Director Kasuga remarked, sitting back heavily in
his chair with an astonished look on his face.  That name was the
absolute last one he would have ever expected the pale-skinned girl

"pale-skinned girl " sounds too cold coming from someone he's supposed to be
guardian for. 'expected his ward' might be better.

Director Kasuga studied the young Amazon sorceress for several moments
before smiling.  "Then I am happy for you, Frost," he said sincerely.
"So, what are your plans now?"

Frost: Hot sex to melt my icy demeanor.

Director Kasuga sat back in his chair and thought for a moment.  Frost
was indirectly asking his permission to move out of the small dormitory
room she had lived in since she was nine.  He then said, "Well, the
Empire has recognized the Amazon laws in this regard as an engagement,
legally binding as a contract, so you are now technically his fianc?e,

Ah, this old glitch. I have encountered it as well.

"Then you have my permission, Frost-chan," he said, slipping for a
moment into more familiar tones.  While she was a valuable asset of the
Mobius Institute, he had come to look on her as another daughter over
the years.  And he trusted her judgment that this would not interfere
with her duties at the Institute.  "I will telephone his mother and
inform her of your arrival, and the circumstances surrounding it."

Heh. The Gosenkugi's are going to be in for some surprises.

"Hikaru Gosunkugi," he said with a bemused shake of his head.  "Will
wonders never cease?"

Not until the story ends, at the least. :)

Director Kasuga shook his head.  Another name that was associated with
Nabiki Tendo had turned up in a most surprising way.  Although he had
given his word to Cherry to keep the Institute at a distance from the
girl, he resolved to talk with his friend Soun sometime in the near
future about his middle daughter.

That should be enlightening, depending on which Soun it is. :)

"Well, most of it you already know, sir.  A few weeks ago someone
managed to penetrate our database's security and downloaded numerous
files concerning a location in China known as Jusenkyo and the effects
of the waters from its many pools, and our standard tracing methods
proved to be less than adequate.  However, the postcognitives you
requested did succeed."

"Stop trying to build the suspense," Director Kasuga said a bit tartly,
waving his hand slightly.  "A name.  Give me a name."

His aide immediately replied, "It was Ranma Saotome, sir."

Heh. Even he can't evade the MI.

Director Kasuga abruptly paused.  Cherry had told him specifically that
he was not to do anything to hinder the path that both Ranma and Nabiki
walked.  Was this a part of it?

Obviously. Otherwise Kasuga would not have any interest in him at all.

Director Kasuga abruptly paused.  Cherry had told him specifically that
he was not to do anything to hinder the path that both Ranma and Nabiki
walked.  Was this a part of it?

Obviously. Otherwise Kasuga would not have any interest in him at all.

His aide pulled out his datapad and performed a quick search.  As he
scrolled through the inventory and saw what was listed there, he looked
up, startled.  "Why, there are several vats of Jusenkyo water there,
sir.  Multiple varieties, in fact.  They were just delivered yesterday
from the research station near Jusenkyo.  Shall I alert the guards to
increase security?"

Nah, it wouldn't do any good anyway.

"Nothing," Director Kasuga replied, casually leaning back in his chair
and thinking about the possible outcomes.  "We do absolutely nothing.
As far as the Institute is concerned, we let whatever happens happen."

An interesting attitude for him to take.

"All right, sir.  I'll take care of getting the guards pulled from the
facility."  The man saluted again and then left.

Director Kasuga turned to face the window, watching the falling rain
outside.  "Such an interesting day today has become,"

Awkward. Perhaps. 'What an interesting day it has become'or something
without two 'days' in it.

"Perfect," she murmured.  "Now let Kuonji-kun try and ignore me."

It'll be easier than you think.

Today was going to be a good day for her, she was confident of that.

Which means it'll definitely be the exact opposite.

                    ******************************

"Where is that idiot?" Ryoko grumbled to herself as she stood outside
the public bath in the rain, holding a dark blue umbrella over her
head, angry with herself for having let Ryoga out of her sight so she
could clean up a bit.  After taking nearly two full days to find the
Hibiki boy, using what little money she had with her to sleep in cheap
hotels and eat fast food,

My, he did get himself lost, didn't he? And this is really going to go over
well with her mother.

 getting more and more irritated and frantic

with each hour spent searching for him, she had finally came across

'stumbled across' might be a better way to describe it.

him

camped out in a city park, calmly boiling some water for soup.  After a
few minutes spent pummeling him to ease her stress levels, she joined
him at his camp.

She was currently wearing some of his spare clothing right now,

Oh yeah, real well.

Ryoko glanced at her watch again as the rain poured down around her.
It had only been thirty minutes.  How could a guy get lost from inside
a public bath in so short a time?  He wasn't illiterate, so was reading
a sign too much to ask for?  She growled again.

Might as well go in and find him.

inexplicably dyslexic with directions, but he was a trustworthy guy.
He didn't try a single thing with her all night, keeping his back to
her the whole time and going right to sleep.

I'm sure it was more difficult than she thinks it is since he does like her.

"Just you wait, Nabiki Tendo," Ryoko murmured grimly, as she stomped
down the street.  "Once I catch up to that idiot Ryoga and tie a bell
around his neck, you're getting yours.  Just you wait."

That should be interesting.

Hitomi Gosunkugi was nervous as she fixed her son's breakfast.  Today
was the day when she would finally be hearing back from Genom on her
application for a loan to purchase a Lilith.  Unfortunately, the best
she could afford on their limited budget was one of Genom's factory
seconds with minimal training packages installed.  Still, she (since
Hitomi didn't like thinking of a Lilith as an 'it') would be able to
help maintain the household and be a companion for her little Hikaru,
and that was all that really mattered to her.

Yeah, that will go over real well

Visiting Genom's new showroom in Nerima's commercial district had
actually been quite a pleasant experience, and she had seen a great
many variety of models of the female Liliths and the male Samaels on
display for potential customers.  It reminded her a bit of how shopping
for a car had been like when she had gone with her husband, back when
he was still alive, but a car could not talk with an interested buyer
about available options and pricing plans like a Genom replicant could.

Which is disturbing in its own right.

One of the Samaels, a handsome and muscular young man named Jun had
seemed quite happy to take her around the showroom and introduce her to
the various models on display.  She had not known that there was such a
variety available.  Jun had also happily explained about Genom's new
sales drive this year, to make replicants more commonly available to
the average family by offering cash rebates and very low-interest
payment plans.

Since the guy that runs the company is quite mad, after all, and wants them
to take the place of humanity. :)

"Mother, why are you walking with me to Gosunkugi-kun's place?" Minami
asked in irritation,

Oh, this is going to be fun. On the upside, Gos will probably forget about
Akane in short order.

"Great," Minami muttered, pasting a smile on her face.  The day could
not get any worse now, as far as she was concerned.

It's coming.

                    ******************************

Hitomi jumped a bit when she heard the doorbell ring.  She hurried out
of the kitchen and opened the front door.  She blinked at the sight
that greeted her eyes, seeing the calm, pale-skinned girl standing on
her doorstep.  Then she smiled.  With coloring like that, Genom must
have made her, and she was an adorable little Lilith.

Oh, I didn't even think of that one. Boy, is this going to be fun.

"Come in, dear," Hitomi said pleasantly, standing aside to allow the
girl in and gesturing for her to come inside.  "Come right in.  I've
been expecting you.

Yep. Real bad.

"Oh, let me go get my son," she said, gushing with excitement.  She
shut the door and hurried to Hikaru's room.  "Oh, he's just going to
adore you!"

Ooooo boy. This is going to get real messy real quick.

-and Hikaru Gosunkugi came awake with a gasp, his heart pounding.

I see there is a bit more to the legacy than mere magic involved.

"A-all right, Mother," he called back, his voice still a little shaky.
"I'll be right out."  He slowly got out of bed and then began putting
on his uniform, wondering what was going on.

It would have been much better for him had he remained in bed.

"Welcome to-" and then Frost stopped, seeing who was at the door.  Her
wisp of a smile vanished as she stared at Minami, wondering what the
Ghost Sweeper trainee was doing here.  And who was that slightly
heavyset woman with her?  She appeared much like the redhead standing
before her might look in a few years.

I don't think dubbing her 'heavyset' will go over well with her. :)

Frost's gaze narrowed slightly, and then she simply shut the door in
Minami's face and headed back to the main table to sit down.

My, that was surprisingly preemptive of Frost.

"Where is she?!" a seething Minami demanded.  "WHERE'S FROST?!"

Her mother isn't equally as put off as well? Might want to mention that.

"Such a lively household you have in the mornings, Gosunkugi-san," said
Kunami critically, with a frown on her face.  "Do you mind if I come in
for a little bit?"

She does seem to have blown off the incident quickly.

Hitomi shook her head automatically and stood aside to let the other
woman past, still a little shocked at all the excitement suddenly going
on.  Behind her, she heard Minami's loud voice and Frost's quieter one
as the two girls began arguing.

Frost is arguing?

"What's the big idea of shutting the door in my face?" Minami demanded,
her glasses glinting menacingly as she loomed over Frost.  "And what
the hell are you doing here, anyway?"

Frost looked up, her gaze serene.  "Your presence here is not required,
Manami Minami," she said simply.  "Please leave."

That's not much of an argument. Might want to make it minami raging at the
quiter Frost.

Reactions were mixed.

The most amazing one was Gos' declaration he was gay.

^_^

"Th-that's ridiculous!" Minami blustered, keeping her position between
Frost and Hikaru.  "Y-you're the Wizardslayer!  No boy has ever been
able to defeat you, not even the upperclassmen!  How could Hikaru-kun
of all people ever beat you?"

Boosted power.

"Like hell," Minami muttered angrily.  Who did this albino freak think
she was dealing with?  She was Ghost Sweeper Minami!  She was the most
powerful Ghost Sweeper of her generation!  There was no way she was
just going to back down from some emotionless mannequin of a girl, no
matter what her rep was.  Fueled by her surging passions, she began
summoning up

Drop 'up' summoning works fine on its own.

Sensing an imminent arcane attack from the overly emotional girl, Frost
began raising her own powers to defend herself.  While the young Ghost
Sweeper was a capable enough spellcaster in her own right, Frost knew
she clearly outmatched the other girl,

That's awkward with the 'other girl'  bit. probably change it 'in her own
right, she was still cleary outmatched.'

and the pale-skinned sorceress

was confident she would quickly prevail if it came down to a fight
between them.  Even so, she was a bit uncertain

recommend dropping 'a bit'  reads fine without it.

She suddenly grabbed him and kissed him, pouring into the embrace all
of the passions for him she had held back for so long, feeling tears
stinging her eyes and misting her glasses.  It was far more intense
than their first kiss had been, the one where he had called her by
another girl's name.  Well, she would show him her measure as a woman
in this kiss, as she put her entire being into it.

"Time to die," Frost said emotionlessly as she charged up again.

Gosunkugi took that opportunity, while the two young sorceresses were
distracted with each other, to beat a hasty retreat before they could
blow up the apartment, or him for that matter.

Smart man, he might survive a while longer.

After everyone else had left, Frost turned to her future mother-in-law
and looked at her calmly.  "So, where will I be sleeping?"

Hitomi, still a bit shell-shocked by everything that had just happened,
chuckled slightly.  Did other mothers have such difficulties with their
sons?

Few. Very few.

Nodoka set down her teacup and began refilling it from the pot on the
table as she considered the somewhat startling offer she had just
heard.  As she did so, Achika sipped at her tea, trying to hide her
nervousness, feeling worried that Nodoka might not grant her request.
She was near to

think you can drop 'to'

 her wit's end.  She had not heard from Ryoko for a

couple of days after that brief phone call, and all sorts of very
worrisome thoughts had been filling her mind during that time,
wondering about her wayward daughter and what was going on between her
and that Hibiki boy.  After all, he seemed to be a healthy young man,
and Ryoko was a healthy young woman.  Both of them were filled with the
passions and hormones of youth.

They could get Ryouko into trouble, like they had Achika in her youth during
and the Baseball Team incident that she pretended never happened.

"I know we never really discussed it much," Achika began,

Achika: Or at all, in truth, but I think it's a good idea.

"Oh, Nodoka, having a daughter is so troublesome sometimes," Achika
sighed.  "When Ryoko's only contact with boys was beating them up, I
never felt this concerned, but she's brought a young man home with her
from her last training trip.  His name is Ryoga Hibiki."  She picked up
her teacup and drank from it briefly.  "You're lucky you only have a
son to raise.  Boys are much less worrisome, like my Tenchi is.  He
never gives me cause for concern."

Achika: He's too much of a weenie.

"Well, I might be having a daughter this time, so I will rely on your
advice in raising her,"

And thus she damned her daughter to a life of misguided misery.

she said with a smile.  The thought that she

might have a little girl around the house pleased her as she briefly
stroked her belly.  If she had one, she teach

she would

"Well," Nodoka said with a brief pause.  "Unless Genma signed one of
them without consulting me,

Nodoka: And he would never do that.

Nodoka set down her tea.  "I also secured her promise to hold off on
challenging me until after my baby is born.  However, if it's a boy and
Ranma does marry Kodachi, he is to become a Kuno.  If it's a girl, then
Kodachi will become a Saotome.  But nothing is definite or official
yet.  Kenseiko and I agreed to wait and see how Ranma and Kodachi's
relationship develops.  But it might become problematic for me if
things don't work out between them."

Why? I'm not sure I follow the logic progression.

"Don't worry," Achika said, laying her hand on Nodoka's.  "If Kenseiko
does challenge you before you're ready, I will stand in as your second.

Oh. I sort of doubt she would do that, and Nodoka has grounds to refuse.

The two women held hands.  "Thank you, Achika.  When Ryoko returns
home, we will have an omiai and introduce our children to each other."

Again.

She smiled.  "And you're right.  It would be pleasing to wed our two
children together, to seal our friendship in such a way.  I'll talk it
over with Genma.  I'm sure he won't object."  Visions of grandchildren,
black-haired little boys and green-haired little girls, danced in the
back of her mind, and she wondered if Achika would mind if Ranma showed
Ryoko how manly he was, like he had with the Tenjou girl.

Probably best not to mention that.

She and Ukyo had enjoyed another strenuous workout on the roof just
after dawn, during a brief lull in the rain.  It had become their habit
to do so, and those first few days had quickly shown Yumi that she had
definitely been letting herself slide over the past few years of softer
living,

Or she's just damn old. :)

 far too much for her tastes.  The rigorous training sessions

with Ukyo were gradually knocking the rust off her skills, bringing her
back again to being

That's awkward. need to rephrase things after 'skills'. 'making her the
powerful' perhaps or something similar.


 the powerful fighter she once was.

It seemed like just yesterday to Yumi

can drop 'to Yumi' I think it's clear its her, and I'd switch 'just' to
'only'

that she was Ukyo's age, a proud

young martial artist,

think you can drop the comma

Ukyo had left for school in really good spirits again this morning.  A
little bit of friendly persuasion (which included an admittedly rather
painful joint lock applied to the girl) had loosened Ukyo's tongue as
to the cause, a second date with Ranma coming up.  Yumi was pleased
that things were going so well for her niece, and that the business the
Hibiki boy had with Ukyo the other day must have concluded quietly,
since the girl had not talked about it.

I'm amazed Yumi assumed Ryouga found her.

"Welcome to Yu-chan's," she said neutrally, gazing at the figure in her
doorway as he tipped his head back, eventually revealing a familiar
face under the broad-brimmed straw hat.  The expression on Yumi's face
became inscrutable, and she said a bit grimly, "I was wondering if I'd
ever see you again, Cherry."

Yumi: And hoping I wouldn't

"I'll see what I can do," said Yumi with false solemnity, even as she
was already mixing together several items into the batter before
skillfully pouring it on to the griddle.  She smiled at the blissful
look that appeared on Cherry's face at the scent of fresh okonomiyaki
cooking in front of him.  She briefly eyed the package he had brought
with him.

It'll be nothing good, I assure you.

"My niece is staying with me," Yumi replied, listening to the sizzling
sounds as a gauge to judge the optimal moment to serve it.  Her left
hand snagged up a sauce dispenser, and she began writing wishes of good
fortune on the top of it in kanji, in a loose-handed script.  Ukyo had
been delighted at seeing her do such things for special customers, and
she had begun practicing writing Ranma's name in sauce and drawing a
heart around it.  It had been rather cute to watch.

I doubt Ranma would think so.

"You mean all the hairbreadth escapes and life and death fights?"  Yumi
paused, shrugged, and then grinned conspiratorially.  "Sometimes.  But
at other times I'm glad I got out when I did.  A person can only have
so many victories in life.  Sooner or later, you push your luck too far
and buy the farm, or maybe just a piece of it.  I saw it happening to
too many of my peers, but it wasn't going to happen to me.  Still,
while doing my part for king and country cost me my chance at marriage
and a normal existence as a woman,

And so mystery behind her.

Cherry nodded.  "You were the best agent I ever had, Kuonji-kun.  I'm
glad things are going well for you."

well, that explaijns part of it

"He's a nice kid," said Yumi with a smile, looking down at Cherry.  "I
like him a lot.  And I think he'll make Ukyo a pretty good husband."

Lots of girls feel that way.

She then thought back to the somewhat furtive conversation she had
observed yesterday between the two men in her restaurant, one of them a
high-ranked

'high ranking' i believe.

A delight to read, as always. Nice work on the first part. Nothing with
Ranma directly, but he dominated the last chapter. interesting take on Gos
you're doing, and moved things along on that front. More on Herb's escape
and repercussions there. And I have a feeling Yumi's mysterious brackground
thing will come into play soon. Everything flowed well. Sorry it took so
long to get to this. My annual computer game fixation is in full bloom and
it's eating up much of my free time. Will get to the nest part when I'm
able.

DB Sommer



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