Ranma extended his red, ruby-like wings with a roar. There was only
one feeling that invaded his senses as he took to the air, a feeling
that seeped from the ground, air, water and fire of this very world.

Destroy them!

   Interesting, is this implying then that the origin of the Blood Dragons was
elemental in nature, though they seemd to have strayed from that if so.

"Ixar!" Rue shouted, jumping down from the bed and kneeling next to
him as he greeted his teeth and cried out in pain.

his as he <gritted> his teeth

"Something that will make your blood much more powerful and help him
regain control. Otherwise, Ambereye might be able to control Ixar."

Rue shuddered. When she looked up the woman wasn't there.

   Interesting, though I wonder what might happen to Urd because of what she's
done.

"Just say: 'I want the truth'." It will guide you there.

'I want the Truth.<> It will guide you there.<">

Urd drifted down on the side of the huge lake, settling down on the
shore as the images on it disappeared. She had done what she could.
She could feel that anymore would cause great displeasure from
Kami-sama. But it gave her hope.

Urd drifted down <to> the side of the huge lake, settling upon the shore

I think it would work better like this.

   She could feel that <any more>

Urd wasn't hearing though, something had sparked her memory. "The

Urd wasn't <paying attention to him though>,

   I think that would read better.

"Don't 'sir' me, young girl." Fizban said, and the crazed look left
his eyes. "I came to tell you that you did the right thing. Ranma
would have survived, but you have given him the strength of friendship
and love to help him survive the trials ahead. Kami-sama is not angry
with you. He knows you love the earth."

    How refreshing, Urd NOT getting punished for doing the right thing, even
if it does possibly bend the rules. :)

shoulder. "I'm sure it will work out fine. Your sisters have each one
opportunity of intervening, but of their own free will and as they

opportunity <for> intervening

   reads better.

He couldn't help it when his voice cracked a little at the mention of
the First Gate. They knew how hard it was for anyone to survive all
the way back into the Nexus.

   Do you mean:

 all the way back from the Nexus.

--
Druid
druid@ispwest.com



             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'