Well, it has been over a year since I last posted a story, so it is about
time I took the finger out and did one. Hope people like it (or not).
Cheers
Alex
(And yes, I promise I will try and do more posting in 2004. I have about
five chapters of stories from "Tidings of War" and "Deceptions" ready
for review and I will, _WILL_, do it - I swear O.o )
===================================================
E-mail - mailto:hitomi@ndirect.co.uk
WWW home - http://www.rakhal.com/AlexGray/ (or)
http://www.geocities.com/alex_gray255/
ICQ#: 106361193
===================================================
*********************************************************************
Sailor Moon
The name Sailor Moon and characters here within are copyright of Naoko
Takeuchi and are used without permission. This story maybe freely
distributed as long as this header is quoted, the authors are
referenced, and the contents are not altered without permission of the
authors.
Warning:
----------
This is a Rei and Hotaru lime/yuri with just a dash of lemon. If this
sort of thing offends you, then _don't_ read it.
*********************************************************************
* * * *
Duty
-----
A story in 2 parts.
(by Alex Gray/Sharon Wall -- 16/12/2003 -- Edition 1.1)
* * * *
The sounds of laugher and merry making faded behind her as Sailor
Saturn, the Senshi of Death and Destruction, left the lighted
palisades of the royal court as quickly and as quietly as she could.
She had had more than enough of all the pointed stares and
uncomfortable silences that her presence always seemed to bring and
needed to get some air. She hated coming to court for these pointless
celebrations and after only two days she was already looking forward
to returning to the peace and quiet of her own world. Indeed, it was
only the continual nagging of Pluto that had made her come here in the
first place.
To say that she was not exactly popular at court was a bit of an
understatement. No matter how hard she tried, those nobles with whom
she could comfortably exchange words numbered less than three, whilst
nearly everyone else treated her with a fearful awe that was
embarrassing. Even the Inners, with whom she had once gotten along
with fairly well now seemed more remote on those rare occasions that
they spoke informally with her, and Saturn was at a loss to say why.
In fact, apart from the Outers and Usa, close friends was a commodity
that Hotaru was sadly lacking.
A chill wind blew fresh across the open veranda on which she was
standing and Hotaru briefly shivered as it gusted through the white
silks that she was wearing. The court dress her rank forced her to don
was not exactly designed for warmth and despite all the years that had
passed, her body was still very much the same as it had been in her
teens. Rubbing her hands together for a moment to warm herself up,
Hotaru lifted her flowing dress and carefully descended the stairs to
the small courtyard garden below. The palace had many such small
havens of peace and whenever she came here, Hotaru made regular use of
them.
A number of paved pathways led off from the base of the stairs
towards separate areas of the garden and Hotaru took a moment to have
a quick look around. The light that was offered by a number of various
crystal spheres that floated around the courtyard overhead revealed
that she was not the only one to have escaped here from the party
above. Here and there odd couples and small groups of people were
seated or quietly talking together. One of the nearest of the couples
looked over in interest at her and Hotaru saw the man visibly flinch
as his eyes met her's and he hurriedly turned away.
"That's Saturn..." she managed to catch part of his hurried
whisper before he and his companion got rapidly to their feet and
left. Hotaru's mouth narrowed and she gave a soft curse under her
breath as a similar reaction began to ripple to the other groups in
the courtyard. Nervous eyes started to follow her every movement and
Hotaru's sensitive hearing picked up her name being whispered
repeatedly.
"..." Hotaru silently swore again and picking a path at random
walked off, pointedly ignoring the eyes that she could feel following
her. The path that she had chosen came to a small fork and taking a
direction at random, Hotaru walked forward as rapidly as her dress
would allow. After a short distance the path forked again, and once
more Hotaru just chose her course at random, letting her feet decide
the direction to take. This procedure repeated itself a number of
times and after a while of walking Hotaru found herself standing in a
dimly lit, little used courtyard whose only features seemed to be a
small fountain and a couple of stone benches.
Standing for a moment just outside this little hidey hole, Hotaru
used the opportunity to calm herself down. The water bubbling up from
the fountain sent a very fine spray of damp mist that Hotaru felt
lightly hitting her face. The sensation made her feel refreshed and
for the first time that evening, a small smile crossed her face.
Taking a deep breath, Hotaru slowly let it out and headed over to one
of the stone benches. Sitting down, she began to rub at her forehead
in an effort to relax. The last few days had been very hard on her.
They were always hard when she came back here. At least in the past
she had had her friend Usa to keep her company, but with her friend's
marriage over forty years ago to secure a political alliance even that
small comfort was now gone. Hotaru was completely alone.
"Hotaru?" a soft voice called out making the girl look up in
surprise. "I'm not disturbing you am I?" And emerging from the
pathway, a beautiful looking young woman hesitantly entered the small
fountain courtyard. Her stride was graceful and her long dark hair
emphasized the pale white dress that she wore. The woman stopped just
short of the bench where Hotaru was sitting and her face wore an
expression of concern.
"Rei-san?" Hotaru gasped, completely surprised by the fire
senshi's sudden appearance. "What are you doing... I mean, did you
want something?"
The raven haired woman did not answer at first, but simply looked
around her. "I've never been here before," she eventually said in a
quiet voice. "It's beautiful. I'm surprised more people aren't here."
"The palace actually has quite a few places like this," Hotaru
offered up, keeping a careful eye on the woman. "You just have to know
where to look."
"Oh," Rei replied before falling silent once more.
The seconds ticked by and Hotaru began to feel a bit awkward. "Was
there something I can do for you, Rei-san?" she finally asked, getting
to her feet so that she was in a better position to look up at the
taller woman.
Rei looked at her for a few moments before she shook her head.
"No, not really. I just saw you leave and wanted to check that
everything was all right, that's all." She gave a small nervous smile.
"I was worried about you, Hotaru."
"Me?" Hotaru queried with a startled look. "You were worried about
me?"
"Well... yes," Rei's smile became slightly more nervous.
"Shouldn't I be? We are friends, aren't we?"
"Well... I suppose..." Hotaru said slowly, uncertain of what else
to say. "But..."
"I know," Rei interrupted quietly. "I'm sorry. Things haven't
exactly been easy for you recently, have they? The Court here thrives
on rumors here and unfortunately, the mysterious Saturn always seems
to be a favorite target for speculation. After the Queen, you are the
single most powerful person in the Kingdom. But while Usagi is well
known and loved, you, Hotaru, are just a mysterious person of which
only your duty as the Senshi of Silence is common knowledge. And that
makes people fear you, I'm afraid. Fact of life."
"I realized that a long time ago, Rei-san," Hotaru said a bit
stiffly. "It's one of the main reasons why I don't particularly like
coming here." This conversation was beginning to get to her and
although she appreciated what Rei was trying to say, this was not a
topic she wanted to talk about.
"Well, if you tried to come here more..." Rei started but Hotaru
cut her off.
"I'm sorry, Rei-san, but was there something specific you wanted
to talk to me about? Or did you just want to check that I was okay?
Because as you can see, I'm fine, really."
Rei flushed slightly at the abrupt nature of Hotaru's tone, but
she just gave a small shake of her head. "No. No, there was nothing
specific, Hotaru. I'm glad you're okay..." she paused as if searching
for words. "Would you... Would you like to come back to the party with
me? I'm sure Usagi and the others would like to..."
"No," Hotaru cut in rudely. "I'm sorry, Rei-san. Thank you for the
offer, but I think I'm going to stay out here for a while. The night
is lovely tonight and to be honest, I never really feel comfortable
amongst so many people." She looked up at the night sky and fixed her
eyes on the half-moon shining overhead. "I just want to be left alone,
that's all." Her voice softened and she looked back at Rei. "Is that
too much to ask?"
Rei said nothing but simply looked at the young teenager standing
in front of her. Of all the senshi, Hotaru was the one who most never
seemed to change. A girl forever trapped just on the point of budding
into womanhood, Hotaru seemed to embody an ethereal like beauty which
captured both the innocence of childhood and the awaking loveliness of
an extremely attractive young woman. It was well said even in the
royal court, that Saturn was one of the great beauties of the Kingdom,
and looking into those uniquely deep purple eyes, Rei could more than
see why. The light from the moon overhead struck the girl's already
pale face, bringing out the darkness of her eyes in a way that
captured all the attention of the watcher. And the full shoulder-
length hair that moved lightly in the currents of the wind only served
to highlight this effect. Before she knew it, Rei found herself
utterly entranced at the sight.
Hotaru turned her head slightly and her eyes locked with those of
Rei's, and what the fire senshi saw reflected there in their depths
was resignation. The resignation of someone who had given up the
battle with fate and was simply trying to accept things as best they
could. It was a sight that both touched Rei's heart and made her
angry. Angry at the world for the position that it put Hotaru in and
angry at Hotaru for simply accepting it as her lot. It was an anger
that made Rei want to do something. Something to make Hotaru scream,
fight, anything.
"Yes, it is too much to ask," Rei replied sharply, stepping
forward towards the young senshi. "You are alone too much as it is,
Hotaru, and trying to hold everyone off at arm's length all the time
is just not right no matter what you say. Now, like it or not, I'm
taking you back to the party. There must be plenty of young men who
I'm sure would be absolutely thrilled to dance with such a beautiful
young woman like yourself, and even if you don't feel like dancing,
then there's plenty of food or drink..."
"Oh, sure," Hotaru cut in. "I bet everyone will be just throwing
themselves at me for a chance to dance, just like they always do. And
when I approach the tables for some food, then people will of course
just stay around and not fall silent or try to back away. Of course,
Rei-san, I'm sure my presence will be more than welcome - just like it
always is." The tone of her voice took on a slightly bitter note and
Rei grimaced.
"Come on, Hotaru-chan," Rei started. "Things aren't that bad
surely. You..."
Hotaru just turned and looked back at the older woman, the
expression on her face saying it all. "I am what I am, Rei-san," she
said quietly. "People do not forget that and neither should you." She
paused and her eyes grew distance. "Go on, Rei-san, go back to your
party before you are missed. I'll be fine, really, and I suspect
people will be much happier with me out here rather than back in
there. That seems..."
"No," Rei cut the girl off, reaching out to take one of Hotaru's
hands in her own. "If you are going to insist on staying out here and
play the martyr, then I suppose I'll have to do the same. It is, after
all, a lovely night and as you said earlier, I could do with some
fresh air." She gave Hotaru's hand a slight tug and gestured towards
one of the benches. "Come on, let's just sit and talk for a bit, eh?
It's been a long time since either of us did that and..."
"Why, Rei-san?" Hotaru interrupted. "Why bother? The last time we
had a serious talk was ages ago. So, why the sudden need to do it now?
It's not like you've been dying to talk with me before." As she said
this, she tried to keep her voice even, but try as she might she could
not help the almost accusing tone that crept into those last few words
and the sound of it made Rei flinch.
"Yes, you're right, Hotaru-chan, I haven't, have I?" Rei gave a
small shake of her head and looked down. After a moment, she raised it
and looked the girl in the eye. "I'm sorry, Hotaru-chan. I... I make
no excuses, my behavior as a friend towards you has been
unforgivable..." She pursed her lips, "but... If... I mean..." She
stopped and pulled on Hotaru's hand. "I meant what I said. If you're
willing, I'd like to talk." Her lips rose in a small smile and taking
a couple of steps backwards, she pulled Hotaru over to a nearby stone
bench.
At first, Hotaru resisted the pull of Rei's hand, but as the
taller woman urged her again, Hotaru acquiesced and went over to sit
by the fire senshi. "So, just what exactly is it you want to talk
about, Rei-san?" she asked in an uncertain voice.
Rei met the smaller girl's eyes and for the first time really
wondered just what the heck she was doing here. When she had first
seen Hotaru leave, she had followed the small girl on an impulse and
now that she was here, she was totally lost as to what to say. A
nervous smile flickered across her face as she searched desperately
for something to say. "How... how have you been keeping, Hotaru-chan?"
At Rei's bland question, Hotaru's lip curled up slightly in
disdain as if she had been expecting this and she put a fixed smile on
her face. "Oh, I'm fine, Rei-san, and how are..."
"Stop that, Hotaru!" Rei broke in as her anger both at herself and
at Hotaru overrode her nerves. "Stop treating me like some stranger!
Look, I know that I..."
"But you are a stranger to me, Rei-san," Hotaru interjected,
breaking Rei's hold on her hand. "You all are. Remind me, how many
times over the last three hundred years have you invited me to stay on
Mars, or even sent me a message that was nothing to do with the
Queen's business - hmm? How many times have you visited me when I was
here or taken the time to..."
"Hotaru, I..." Rei tried to speak.
"...inquire how I was doing?" Hotaru continued, her voice rising
to override that of Rei's. "And just how many times have we talked on
something other..."
"Hotaru, wait a minute," Rei tried again, but once more the
smaller girl just continued even louder.
"...other than senshi business? How many times, Rei-san? How
many?" By now, the girl's face was slightly flushed with the emotion
that was beginning to come to life within her and she jerked up to her
feet. Spinning around, she took a few steps and then just stood there,
breathing heavily trying to calm herself down. The strength of her own
reaction had caught her off guard and she needed a moment to get
herself back under control. She fixed her eyes on the bubbling
fountain. Fool! What did she think was she doing? Snapping out at Mars
like this was pointless. She had...
"Hotaru... You... You're right..." Rei spoke in a small voice as
she got to her feet as well. "I've never contacted you or..."
"Rei... Please... just go," Hotaru kept her eyes locked onto the
fountain. "Just go." She heard Rei take a breath as if the woman were
going to speak, but then the sound of soft footsteps followed as the
fire senshi hesitantly turned and walked away. The footsteps halted
twice as if the other woman was unsure about going, but finally they
turned and left, leaving Hotaru alone once more.
Hotaru clenched her fists and took a deep breath as she struggled
to regain her center once more. The surge of emotions that had
suddenly rushed to the fore had affected her worse than she had
imagined possible, and she was left feeling slightly shaken by the
experience. She had thought she had more control than this, that she
had gotten used to the way things were but it seemed she was wrong.
Closing her eyes, Hotaru took another couple of deep breaths and
forced herself to relax. She had to accept this. She was what she was
and no matter how she might feel about it, there was absolutely
nothing she could do to change things. She was Saturn - full stop.
"I hate this place..." she whispered, opening her eyes, "hate it."
"Hotaru," a soft voice suddenly said behind her, making the young
teenager give a startled gasp and spin around.
"Rei! What... What are you still doing here?! I..."
"I'm sorry, Hotaru," Rei said stepping towards her. "But I can't
just leave you alone like this, it isn't right. You're one of us. You
belong..."
"Belong? Belong?!" Hotaru snapped as the emotions she had been
trying to repress all day finally broke through. "What would you know
about belonging, Rei-san?! You've always been welcome wherever you go!
You're the great and beautiful senshi Sailor Mars! Adored and loved
almost as much as the Queen herself! What would you know?!"
Rei flushed as the anger in the young girl's voice began to darken
and take on a tone of harsh bitterness.
"Tell me, Rei, do people whisper and move away whenever you
approach them, eh? Do people look at you with fear in their eyes
whenever you walk into the room?! Well?!" The venom in the girl's
voice began to grow as her anger became more and more focused on the
other woman. "Do you have a great empty castle you have to walk
through day after day which is filled with nothing but silence?! Oh,
yes, Rei, I'm sure you know _all_ about that don't you?! Living here
at the center..."
Slap.
Hotaru froze as the shock of the sudden slap across her face
shattered her raising temper cold. Her eyes widened and she looked
incredulously at the tall, long haired woman opposite her.
Rei looked down at her hand almost as if she could not believe
what it had just done. Her eyes widened and a flurry of emotions too
quick to recognize flashed across her face. "I... Yes... Yes, you're
right, Hotaru," she finally said. "I don't know. I don't know the kind
of life you've had to lead these last few centuries, nor can I pretend
to. The only thing I can do is apologize. Apologize for not
recognizing your pain sooner. Apologize for not being the friend I
should have..."
"Apologize?!" Hotaru spat out. "Ha! Don't make me laugh! Why
should you care?! What is my life to you?! You are the great Sailor
Mars! You are..."
"Someone who should have cared for you far more than I did," Rei
interrupted softly, her eyes sad. "Hotaru-chan.... please, forgive
me... I..."
At this sudden statement, Hotaru's anger spluttered and she
stumbled back as Rei's sad dark eyes sought out her's.
"Forgive me..."
"I..." Hotaru was lost in confusion. Her mind swamped by too many
feelings, too many different emotions for her to make sense of. Rei...
Why was Rei here now... Why did the tears in the other girl's eyes so
cut into her heart...
"Please, Hotaru..." Rei said stepping closer. "Forgive me...
Forgive us all... We love you, Hotaru... All of us... You are part of
our family... Can you... can you forgive us..." She took another step
forward and slowly, as if uncertain what the response would be, she
raised her hands. "Hotaru..."
The pleading expression that was on the older woman's face left
Hotaru lost. She did not know what to do. Oh, how she wanted to
believe in the warmth that Rei seemed to be offering. Oh, how she
longed for someone with whom she could just lay aside her burdens, but
she was afraid - how she was afraid. She had already lost her one true
friend, already lost the closeness that she had once had with her
parents...
To open herself up again to that hurt, to that disappointment,
that possibility of hope...
Rei saw the look of lost confusion on Hotaru's face and for some
reason it made her heart catch in her throat. In all the years she had
known the girl, she had almost never seen Hotaru look as open or as
vulnerable as she did now. It was a sight that made Rei disgusted -
both at herself and at her friends. How could they have all just left
Hotaru alone so much to get into this kind of state? Why did they not
care enough to see what their youngest member was going through? Rei
felt her eyes mist up and before she even knew what she was doing, she
had her arms around Hotaru and was quietly weeping into the girl's
soft hair.
"Forgive me, Hotaru..." she sobbed as she clutched the girl to
her. "Forgive..." Her grip tightened and she buried her head into the
nape of the girl's neck. As she did so, she could not help but notice
the fresh smell of lavender that came from the girl's hair or the loud
beating of the smaller girl's heart. "Hotaru..." she whispered.
The sudden warmth and closeness of Rei's body pressed against her
took Hotaru completely by surprise and for a moment, she was at a loss
at what to do. As Rei started to cry however, Hotaru let herself
slowly relax and even tried to comfort the tearful woman as best she
could. She was totally bemused by what had just happened, but
something about Rei's loss of control touched her. In addition, the
sheer fact that someone else was weeping over _her_, gave her a sense
of contact the like of which she had not had in years. This rush of
feeling made her heart want to sing and she abandoned herself to the
warm support that Rei was offering.
How long the two girls stood embracing each other was impossible
to say, but at last, the two of them stepped apart and looked at each
other as if for the first time. A small shy smile flickered across
Hotaru's face and she sniffled as she meet the taller woman's eyes.
"Thank you, Rei," was all she said as her smile widened. "Thank you."
Rei swallowed hard as the beautiful white face and large lavender
eyes still shining with tears, stared so trustingly up at her. Gods...
Hotaru was beautiful... It was only now that she really began to
understand why the young senshi was rightly called the beauty that she
was. It was easy to see why despite the fearsome reputation that
Saturn had, how so many petitions from other solar systems came to the
Queen for the girl's hand in marriage. Hotaru's was a beauty that one
could get lost in. A beauty that could drive both men and women to
distraction, or even, to madness.
Straightening, Rei pulled back from the younger girl and held out
her hand. "Come on, Hotaru. Let's return to the party, eh? We can use
this opportunity to show those stupid nobles just how close we senshi
really are."
Hotaru looked uncertain at this, but took hold of Rei's hand all
the same. "What do you mean, Rei?" she asked as she followed after the
older woman.
"I mean that the two of us are going back to that party and we're
going to show everyone what it is that they've been missing all these
years."
"Eh?" Hotaru blinked and Rei pulled her along even faster. "What
do you mean?"
Rei smiled and her face lit up with a mischievous grin that
reminded Hotaru of how the way it had used to be before things between
them all had gotten so cold. The familiarity of the memory made the
smile on Hotaru's face deepen and a small laugh almost escaped her
lips. For the first time in ages, a feeling of something almost like
fun was beating in her chest and she actually found that she was
looking forward to whatever it was that Rei was planning. It was an
emotion that startled her. She had gone from near depression to a
bubbly state in less than five minutes. It seemed impossible and she
was bemused by how it had happened. Was this really her?
Rei smiled evilly. "What I mean, Hotaru-chan, is that for the rest
of tonight, we are going to show those gossips at court something that
will _really_ make them gossip. How does that sound, eh?" She laughed
and waved her hand dramatically across the sky. "Sailor Mars and
Sailor Saturn cutting it loose at the Queen's own party," she quoted.
"Can you imagine the headlines?"
"Ah..." Hotaru was beginning to feel a little less certain about
where Rei's sense of "fun" might be taking them and she pulled back on
the other woman's hand. "Rei, I'm not so sure..."
The sudden uncertainty in the younger girl's voice made Rei pause
and then she smiled. "Would you rather stay here then?" she asked
gently. A question, which bought a grateful nod.
"Sorry," Hotaru said softly, "but I'd rather remain here if you
don't mind. I don't really like crowds, and the way everyone just
stares at me..." she gave a small shiver. "No..."
Rei nodded and patted the smaller girl's hand. "That's all right,
Hotaru," she said reassuringly. "We can stay here if that's what you
want." She pointed to the small bubbling fountain at the center of
their small alcove. "Come on, let's go and sit by the fountain, ne? I
love the sound of falling water, it's so peaceful."
Hotaru smiled gratefully and gave a nod of her head. "If you're
sure you don't mind, Rei..."
"No, of course not, silly," Rei laughed and ruffled the girl's
soft hair. "I'm not going to force you to do something you don't want
to, you know. I just thought you might like to see some of the others,
that's all. You're hardly ever at court these days and..."
"Rei, please stop," Hotaru said in a voice that was little above a
whisper. "The others... Well..."
"Hotaru?" Rei asked as a flash of concern passed over her face.
"What's wrong?"
"Sorry," Hotaru replied, "but I'd rather not talk about the others
if you don't mind. I... well... I don't really..." she halted.
"You don't really what, Hotaru-chan?" Rei prompted gently,
reaching her hand out to lift up the girl's head.
"It's just... Well... I... I don't really feel comfortable around
them these days, Rei," Hotaru confessed quietly. "They... I... Well,
they're all just strangers to me now, Rei, even Neptune and Uranus...
No one comes and visits me anymore, no one even sends me messages now.
I have to live in this huge castle all alone with nothing and no one
for company. The only time people seem to want me is when there is a
battle on and even then, they all seem to hate me for being there."
And as she spoke, Hotaru's voice got quicker and quicker, her emotions
beginning to visibly show. "I've tried to make friends, Rei, I really
have! But everyone always seems to be so scared! No one will talk to
me! No one! No one seems to care! And I'm so lonely, Rei! All I have
is Usa and she's gone! I can't stand it anymore! Can't! Ca..." Her
voice began to falter as the level of emotion finally began to erode
away her control. Her words become more and more incoherent as the
dark emotions boiling away inside started to overwhelm her.
As the smaller girl's speech slowly degenerated into more or less
meaningless sentences, Rei felt her heart crack and acting on pure
instinct, she reached out and drew the girl into a tight embrace.
"Shhh... Hotaru... Stop... don't cry... hush..." She wrapped her arms
tightly around the slender girl's back and pulled her close just as
the young senshi burst into tears.
"I'm so lonely, Rei!" the girl sobbed as she clung desperately to
the taller woman. "So lonely! No one wants to be with me anymore - no
one! Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama have abandoned me, Usa is gone -
there's no one left! No one! I hate it, Rei! Hate it!" Her voice broke
down completely into tears and she hung onto Rei as if she were
drowning.
The warm form now clinging so tightly to her invoked responses in
Rei that were difficult to describe. Material instinct combined with
the need to comfort a friend added to the acute awareness of just how
soft and attractive Hotaru was. This last sensation took Rei slightly
by surprise and she was not exactly sure how to react to it. While she
was certainly no innocent when it came to the matters of the flesh,
she was not exactly as... ah... open or experienced as someone like
Minako either. Even in the long centuries that she had lived, her
actual relationships could be numbered on less than one hand. It is
difficult to have true relationships with others when you are only
really devoted to one person.
And so her body's less than purely "sisterly" reaction to Hotaru
did throw her a bit.
"Hush, now, Hotaru-chan, shh..." Rei whispered, forcing herself to
just concentrate on the needs of the smaller girl. "Hush... You're not
alone, silly. I'm here now, aren't I? Hush..." She moved her hands
gently up and down Hotaru's silk clad back and slowly, the girl's
tears lessened, her hold on Rei becoming less desperate.
Gradually, as Hotaru cried herself out, she relaxed her hold on
Rei and simply enjoyed being in the warmth and comfort of the taller
woman's embrace. It had been so long since she had last felt so...
protected that she wanted to indulge in it all she could. Not since
Usa had she been with someone who trusted her enough to just hold her
like this and Hotaru reveled in the sensation. She pressed herself
closer to Rei's soft warmth and inhaled deeply of the woman's faintly
musky scent.
"Hotaru?" Rei asked, slightly surprised at the sudden tightening
of the girl's grip.
"Just hold me..." came the muffled reply and Rei found herself
looking into two wide lavender eyes. "Please..." The plea behind those
words made Rei shiver. It was almost as if Hotaru was desperately
afraid of what would happen if Rei let her go and this made the fire
senshi even more worried over the state of the poor girl.
Swallowing, Rei smiled and gently kissed the tearful face on the
top of her brow. "Don't worry, my little firefly, I'm not going
anywhere." And she lowered her head so that Hotaru was nestled up
against her chin. "I'll keep you company..."
Hotaru did not reply, but an expression of such peaceful gladness
descended over her face that Rei's heart fluttered. The girl looked so
small and vulnerable at that moment, that all Rei wanted to do was
just hold her and protect her from everything. It was a strange
emotion and only one she had ever felt towards one other person - her
Queen.
Taking a deep breath, Rei began to quietly sing. It was a song she
had composed herself a long time ago while still in the spring time of
her life. For while she was still young in face and form, her heart
was well into the summer time of her existence and somehow, Rei knew
that what Hotaru needed at that moment was something that reflected
that old, youthful innocence. So, lifting her head to the open sky
above, Rei sang. Her voice was full of the mature heart of a grown
woman, but her words were those of a child starting out at the
beginning of a long road. She sung them for the girl in her arms. She
sung them to give that girl hope, to reach a heart more ancient and
dark than any she could imagine. She sang because she knew she must.
Her voice rose, and as if the wind heard her, it picked up its tempo
streaming Rei's long hair down over Hotaru.
Enclosed in the living warmth of Rei's arms, Hotaru felt the
streaming caress of the fire senshi's hair brush over her face like
water and surrounded by the full song of Rei's voice, she imagined she
was in a dream. Rei's music was honest and from the heart, and Hotaru
felt as if her very soul was uplifted by its presence. Opening her
eyes, she took a deep breath and added her own voice to the simple but
heartfelt melody. Of all her talents, her voice was the one of which
she was most proud and she used it like a thread to join and
interweave with Rei's own. Singing counterpoint, Hotaru strengthened
the song until it seemed that the two girls were surrounded by a
waterfall of liquid music that separated them from everything.
Locking her eyes with Rei, Hotaru let the magic of the moment
sweep her away. Singing had always been one way she could forget the
troubles of her existence and being here with Rei, singing this duet
was almost heavenly.
Matching her voice with that of Hotaru, Rei used all the skill
that she had to be a worthy partner in the song. The voice of the
young senshi was incredible and Rei was utterly amazed that Hotaru had
never shown her talent in public. The strength and purity of her voice
pierced its way through Rei like a sword and moved her in ways that
was impossible to describe. She opened her eyes and surrended herself
completely to the music that the two of them were creating.
The song built between them, strong and faster. Melody and
counter-melody intermingling until it was one. Both senshi gave their
all to the song and both were lost within it. Whereas Hotaru's voice
was high and sweet giving the song an airy spirit, Rei's added a
strength and foundation that gave the song completeness. Each voice
adding something that could not be achieved alone. It was an
experience impossible to describe and when the song finally,
regretfully, came to an end, the silence that followed was almost
profound in its depths.
Brown eyes met purple. The wind that had arisen earlier tugged
playfully at the two girls hair while the rest of the world was in
utter silence. Rei did not know what to say. She had no words that
were possible to describe what had just happened - how could they? It
was...
A finger lightly brushed over her cheek and Rei was startled to
find that it was tracing the track of tears that were even now falling
unnoticed from her eyes.
"You're crying..." Hotaru whispered as if she were amazed by this
simple fact.
"I... Yes. Yes I am," Rei replied unable to think of anything
else.
"Have you been lonely too?" Hotaru inquired, tilting her head to
one side.
Rei did not know how to answer that so she just smiled and reached
out to lightly brush the other girl's hair away from her face.
"That was the first time I've sung with anyone other than Usa,"
Hotaru said quietly after a moment had passed. "And it was never like
that... It felt... well..." she just wordlessly shook her head and
once again Rei could think of nothing to say.
"You won't ever leave me will you?" Hotaru suddenly asked, her
eyes staring intensely at Rei's. "You promise?"
The sudden question threw Rei slightly and she did not know what
to say. What was the young girl asking of her? Some of her confusion
must have shown on her face because Hotaru's face fell and the girl
slumped as if some of the life had suddenly left her.
"You will," the girl said in a dead voice. "You won't stay with me
either. I'll be alone..."
"No," Rei forcefully interrupted the girl. "No, you won't." She
did not know what exactly it was that Hotaru wanted, but at that
moment, she did not particularly care. "I will stay with you - I
promise." She smiled and pulled the girl back up against her. "I won't
leave you," she repeated, still not certain what kind of relationship
it was that Hotaru really wanted, but she was certain enough to know
that she could not just leave the girl as she currently was.
"You promise?" Hotaru asked, raising her head to look at Rei as if
trying to read the fire senshi's soul.
"I promise," Rei repeated, an answer that made Hotaru's face burst
out into a warm smile.
"Thank you," the girl whispered and without further ado, she
closed her eyes and simply rested herself in Rei's arms leaving the
fire senshi to wonder what exactly it was that she had just gotten
herself into.
* * * *
Back at the party, Queen Serenity frowned slightly as for the
first time she noticed that her first advisor and best friend was
absolutely no where to be seen. Usually, the fire senshi was always
within sight, even at parties like this and the fact that Rei was not
around perked Usagi's interest. Raising a hand, she gestured for a
page to come over.
"Your Majesty?" the young man asked with a bow.
"Would you please be so good as to find Sailor Mars for us?" Usagi
said, giving the teenager a brilliant smile and finding herself
pleased at how he melted into putty as a result. "The delegation from
Harven will be here soon," she continued, "and we wish for our
councilor to be at our side when we greet them."
The young man spluttered out something that vaguely sounded like a
yes and left, leaving Usagi with an amused smile on her face. She
still had it, even now. Looking around her, she took a moment to give
some serious thought as to what might have happened to Rei. It was
just so unusual for the long haired brunette to vanish like this and
for a moment, Usagi briefly wondered if her friend had gone for a
midnight twist with a lover or something like that. The thought made
her smile. It would not be the first time and if it was indeed the
case, then Usagi was glad. Of all her senshi, Rei was the most
devoted, but that devotion came at a high price. It saddened Usagi
that Rei never seemed to want to settle down with anyone. Over the
years, all her companions, even the once flighty Minako, had all
settled down into serious relationships - only Rei was still alone.
Usagi was not sure why Rei devoted so much of herself to her duty, but
in some ways she wished that her best friend would just pay much more
attention to herself for once.
The days of peace had been long, and the forces that guarded both
her and the realm were now more numerous than they had ever been. As
such, the roles of Rei and the other Inners had now mostly changed to
that of key advisors and, when necessary, a more visible reminder of
the Queen's presence. However, the role that Rei seemed to insist on
still wanting to follow was completely out of date.
Guard, protector, advisor, Rei wanted to do it all and while Usagi
was greatly touched by her senshi's loyalty and love, she had serious
concerns for her best friend's well being. Rei was like anyone else.
She needed someone for herself. Someone to whom she could devote her
love as a partner, and while Usagi loved her friend dearly - she could
not be that one. Rei needed more - no, Rei deserved more.
"You're not dancing, my Queen?" a voice said softly from behind
her in a tone that was more comment than question and Serenity turned
to face a figure rarely seen at Court.
"Not this time, Pluto, no," she remarked back dryly, meeting the
taller woman's eyes. "I don't really feel like playing palace games
today."
To this, Pluto gave a slight inclination of her head. "Well, the
Emperor's proposed treaty is enough to dim any mood, I suppose. Even I
was a little surprised at his audacity."
One of Serenity's eye brows rose up slightly at this admission,
but she said nothing.
"Harven would be a powerful ally," was all Pluto said.
"Perhaps," Serenity replied, "but in gaining that ally we lose one
of our greatest assets and besides, you know she'll never agree to
it."
"Saturn knows her duty," Pluto said quietly. "As did your own
daughter."
This quiet remark made Serenity's eyes flash and an old anger
colored her face. "I did what I had to do, Pluto," she said, her voice
cold. "I hate myself for it, but as you yourself said, royalty must
serve the people first and themselves never. Usa understood that as
much as I. It was her choice and she walked into her marriage with
both eyes open."
"Did I ever say otherwise?" Pluto replied. "I'm very proud of both
of you and so would your mother have been. Royalty is a burden far
heavier than most people would understand, but I for one am honored to
serve under you." She knelt down, "and I always will be," she finished
softly.
Serenity did not answer but gestured instead for Pluto to get up.
After a few moments of silence had passed, she spoke. "Then you are in
favor of the proposal, despite how she may react?"
"The Empire of Harven is one of the strongest military forces in
our galaxy. What they lack in magic, they more than make up in
science. An alliance with them would have its uses - yes."
"But?"
"My heart troubles me," Pluto admitted. "Hotaru is my daughter and
the thought of just marrying her off..." she stopped. "I'm sorry. I
don't have the right to say this, your Majesty, not after your own
sacrifice, but I had hoped Hotaru might find someone for herself.
After what she has had to go through..."
"Enough, Pluto," Serenity broke in softly. "I understand, how
could I not? Usa however, did what she had to for the sake of our
people and so will Saturn." She sighed, and her shoulders slumped.
"You know, Setsuna, sometimes I loathe myself for what I have to do.
My daughter, Hotaru, Rei... I despise myself, I..."
"Don't you ever dare say that again, Usagi!" Setsuna snapped
harshly as she slammed her staff against the marble floor. The sound
of it rang out sharply and suddenly, a nervous silence fell across the
hall as eyes turned to stare at the two women. "You are my Queen!
Those words are treason!" Unbridled anger flashed across the Time
senshi's face and Usagi was shocked at the violence of her mentor's
reaction.
"Setsuna... I..."
"Apologize!" Setsuna hissed. "Apologize at once! No one insults my
Queen like that!"
"I..." Usagi was completely flustered. The way that Setsuna was
reacting threw her into total confusion and she was lost at what to
do. "What..."
"Apologize!" Setsuna exclaimed and Usagi cringed.
"Sorry..."
"Louder!"
"I'm sorry!" Usagi repeated loudly, her voice quavering. "Sorry!"
Setsuna's face immediately softened and she knelt down before her
Queen. She said nothing, but simply knelt there, her head bowed. After
about a minute had passed, the silence began to fill with soft
whispers as the nobles in the room talked nervously amongst
themselves. Usagi looked down uncertainly at the kneeling woman and
then around her at the whispering people.
"Setsuna..." she hissed. "What... What are you..." she swallowed.
"Stand up, Pluto," she continued, her voice now that of a monarch. "I
am displeased. You have broken the atmosphere of our party and made
our guests nervous. I think you should apologize to them."
Pluto immediately rose to her feet and made a sweeping bow.
"Forgive me, your Majesty. I apologize. I will withdraw..."
"No," Serenity cut her advisor off. "I need you at my side
tonight. The ambassador of Harven will want to meet with Hotaru
and..."
"I know," was all Pluto replied. "I know." The thought of how her
daughter might react to the news that an emperor from a far away star
wanted to marry her to his son, was enough to make even Setsuna
shiver.
Hotaru's life was difficult. Setsuna was well aware of the pain
that her daughter was going through, the loneliness, but she had
steeled herself not to interfere. Yes, she hated herself for it but
still she held back. Hotaru was a grown... well, adult woman now and
Setsuna respected that more than anything. If Hotaru asked for help,
if she asked for love, then Setsuna would be there like a shot, but
until that time came, Setsuna would give her daughter the distance she
seemed to want.
It might be cold. It might be a hard way of looking at things, but
Setsuna knew that in the end this was the only way. Duty. It all came
down to that single, horrible word - duty.
It was a word that made Setsuna cold. Duty,
The duty of the Crown to protect its people. The duty of the
Senshi to protect the Crown.
Duty.
For the sake of that one word, Usagi had become Serenity. For the
sake of that one word, Usa had given herself into a loveless marriage,
and for the sake of that word, Setsuna would make her own daughter do
the same.
Duty.
"Your Majesty..." a hesitant voice coughed as a young man came
nervously over to join them.
Serenity broke her gaze from Pluto and turned to the page she had
sent out earlier to find Mars. She smiled, and put enough warmth into
her face to set the young man at ease. "Did you find her?"
The young man flushed as the warmth of his sovereign's smile
washed over him like a wave. "I..." he swallowed. "Yes, your Majesty,
I did. She... she was..."
"Yes?" Serenity asked gently, giving the young man a chance to
recover.
"Princess Mars and Princess Saturn were in the garden, your
majesty," the man regained his composure. "I told Lady Mars that you
commanded her presence and she told me that she would be right
along..." he paused, and a look of uncertainty crossed his face. "I...
I hope I..."
"Yes, yes, thank you," Serenity said dismissing the man
thoughtfully. Why was Rei with Hotaru? That was a bit of a surprise.
Whenever Hotaru came to court, the girl seemed to insist on walking
around with a chip the size of a planet on her shoulder. She never got
involved in court affairs, never seemed to get close to anyone or
anything. It startled her that someone like Hotaru would be enough to
lure the fire senshi away from a party like this. She frowned and
turned to Pluto. "Rei and Hotaru?" was all she said.
Setsuna frowned as well. It surprised her that someone as
extravert as Rei would want to spend time with Hotaru and she briefly
wondered if this was just a one off or the beginning of something. She
was just about to reply when a wave of murmuring began to pass through
the assembled crowd. Setsuna stretched her neck to see what was going
on and was slightly taken aback at the sight of Rei, arm wrapped
around the slender waist of her daughter, carefully leading the girl
through the nobles.
"My, my," Serenity whispered almost to herself. "That's an unusual
sight..."
"Yes," Setsuna murmured back as she focused on the body language
between the two approaching figures. Rei appeared to be slightly tense
and her eyes fluttered nervously back and forth as she led Hotaru
through the whispering people. Her hold on Hotaru was gentle but firm
and she shot the occasional warm smile at the girl as if she were
trying to reassure her that everything was all right. As for Hotaru -
here Setsuna's eyes widened. The slender girl's eyes were red as if
she had been crying and she clung onto Rei's hand as if she were
afraid of the other girl letting her go. Her face was completely open
and there was a vulnerability to it which pieced Setsuna's heart like
a knife.
Oh Gods...
After all this time, it looked like Hotaru's heart had finally
cracked and the one that had been there when it had happened was Rei.
Setsuna frowned. This had the potential to get ugly. It was clear to
nearly everyone that knew Rei, that the fire senshi was utterly in
love with Usagi and had been for nearly 1000 years. So complete a
love, that she had happily stood aside to let the light of her life be
taken by another.
And this was the woman that Hotaru had thrown her heart open to.
Setsuna gave an internal groan. Why? Why of all people had Hotaru
chosen Rei...
"Your Majesty," Rei bowed her head as she and Hotaru came to a
stop.
"Rei," Usagi acknowledged as her eyes locked onto Hotaru. The
slender girl was holding onto Rei's arm in a way that almost reminded
the queen of a child and her mother. Occasionally, the girl would look
up at the taller woman with eyes that were full of loneliness and
longing and in return, Rei gave the girl a smile that made the young
teenager's whole face light up. It was a sight that made Usagi's
stomach clench and she was not exactly sure why. She did not dislike
Hotaru, hell, the girl was her daughter's best friend, but something
about the sight of Rei smiling like that at another made her feel
cold. "Hotaru," she finally acknowledged the youngest of her senshi.
Hotaru did not answer at first, but when Rei nudged her she looked
up and her eyes blinked. Usagi found herself looking into the most
wide and beautiful eyes she had ever seen. Eyes that one could not
help but sink into. Eyes that captivated you completely and eyes that
looked at her with nothing but a wary disdain.
"Your Majesty," Hotaru said faintly before lowering her eyes and
looking back up at Rei. The fire senshi nodded back encouragingly and
Hotaru looked somehow less nervous, more at peace as she pulled Rei's
arm to her and closed her eyes.
The sight of this made Usagi frown sharply and she raised her eyes
to catch Rei's. Her friend however just gave a small shrug and
completely ignored the question burning in Usagi's eyes.
"You sent for me, your Majesty?" Rei asked politely, indicating
that the subject of her and Hotaru was out of bounds.
"..."
"Your Majesty?" Rei pressed gently.
"I... I was worried about you, Rei," Usagi finally managed to say.
"You weren't here and I was worried about you. You don't usually miss
parties like this."
"I was... occupied else where..." Rei said slowly, her eyes
flashing down to look fondly at the smaller girl still hanging on to
her arm. "Sorry."
Usagi turned her eyes to focus once more on Hotaru and her mouth
flattened just slightly as she suppressed the odd surge of emotion
that those words invoked. "Oh?" was all she said.
Rei frowned slightly as she caught the slight catch to Usagi's
voice. She tried to place the emotion that she had just momentarily
heard, but the other woman had already turned away.
"I will leave you to your business then, Mars," Serenity replied
dismissively with a gesture before turning to Pluto. "But I'm afraid
Lady Saturn must remain here. There are some... guests that I want her
to meet."
Hotaru opened her eyes and she looked startled. "Guests?" she
asked, her eyes flickering over to look at first Pluto and then Rei.
"What do you mean? What guests?"
"I... I was going to speak to you about this earlier, Hotaru,"
Pluto began slowly, her eyes flickering to look at both her Queen and
then Rei. "But you weren't around. There... well..."
"What mama?" Hotaru asked, her heart beginning to beat faster,
anxiety turning her gut. She knew that look. Pluto was trying to
wriggle her way around something.
Setsuna straightened and pushed herself into the role of Pluto,
the Queen's advisor. "You may not be aware of this Hotaru," she began,
"but you are quite famous. Word about you has spread throughout the
galaxy. Your power, your... beauty - both are highly regarded, almost
legendary even."
This sudden piece of news struck Hotaru slightly dumb. Her?
Legendary? That was crazy...
"I'm not joking, Hotaru," Pluto said more firmly now. "You are
well known as one of the greatest beauties of our Kingdom, indeed,
even in this sector of space. And while it is true that some of this
is just the result of hype, you are truly an exceptionally lovely
young woman." She paused and waited to see how Hotaru would react to
her statement, but the slender girl just seemed to be frozen.
"Hotaru?" Rei nudged the silent girl. "Hotaru, are you all right?"
Her face grew worried and she wrapped an arm around the girl to pull
her into a loose embrace. "Hotaru-chan?"
The small brunette gave a quick shake of her head as if she were
trying to clear it and looked up at Pluto. Her face hardened. "So?
What of it? What does that have to do with these guests?"
The hardness of Hotaru's voice made Rei frown and her head jerked
up. "Yes, Pluto," she asked, her eyes narrowing. "What does that fact
have to do with anything?"
"A great deal," Serenity answered instead, turning her gaze to
rest steadily on Rei.
"What do you mean, Usagi?" Rei pressed, loosing her formality as
her mind worked through in more detail what those two were talking
about.
"The Harvens are just one of many who have sued for the hand of
Lady Saturn, Mars," Pluto said in a terse voice. "Indeed, over the
years I have lost count of those ambassadors and lordlings who have
come for..."
"...But none have been accepted until now," Rei finished coldly.
"That is what you're trying to say, isn't it." Her face curled and she
turned on Usagi. "How could you even think..."
"I do what I have to do for our people, Mars!" Serenity said
sharply, cutting into Rei before she even had a chance to say more. "I
always have! And if that means that Hotaru has to marry to bring us a
strong ally, then by all the Gods she will! Just as I would expect the
same of anyone, even my own daughter..." and here her resolve faltered
slightly before firming up once more. "We are who we are for a reason,
Mars, and I suggest that you remember that." Her face became hard and
the persona of Neo-Serenity stared down fully at her royal general.
"Duty? Usagi?" Rei gasped in disbelief. "Is that your answer?
Duty? Is that really more important to you than..."
"My duty to my people, to my realm, is everything, Rei," Serenity
replied softly. "And I will do whatever I must to ensure that they are
safe, Mars, whatever I must." Her head straightened. "I am the Queen
first and I always will be."
Rei met her sovereign's stare and for a moment, disbelief and
anger warred across her face until finally, an expression of sorrow
and heartache replaced them. "You really believe that, don't you..."
she whispered. "You really believe that..."
"Yes, Rei," Usagi replied softly. "I have to."
A small shudder passed through Rei's body and she seemed to droop
as if all her strength had suddenly left her. Hotaru gave a small
worried gasp and grabbed at the taller woman, giving voice to a
concerned "Rei!" The moment of weakness however only lasted for a
second and the fire senshi gave a small smile to Hotaru before she
straightened.
"You've changed Serenity," Rei spoke quietly. "You are no longer
the Usagi I used to know..."
"Times change," Serenity said simply in response. "And people have
to change as well." Her head dropped and her hair fell over her eyes.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too," Rei replied, lifting her head to gaze in silence
at the woman she had loved and believed in for most of her life. "I
truly am." Her eyes remained on Serenity for a long time as she used
the moment to store up every detail of her sovereign's face, and then,
without a further word, she put her arm around Hotaru, turned and
left.
Mars' action bought startled gasps from those nobles gathered
around and whispers began to sound as the two senshi left. Pluto
turned to face Serenity and then back to the departing figures.
"Stop..."
"No," Serenity ordered softly. "Let them be."
"But..."
"Leave them," the woman repeated. "It's their choice. They've
earned that right at least."
"But... your Majesty..." Pluto began to protest, but the words
died in her throat as Serenity looked at her.
"Rei isn't like you," the golden haired woman answered softly.
"She can't just serve a concept. She has to believe in what she fights
for, and she has to believe in me." So saying, Serenity raised her
head and spoke aloud. "Come on everyone, the night's still young!
Let's not have one small incident ruin the whole party!" She clapped
her hands and anxiously the nobles and other guests began to move
around in a half-hearted attempt to follow her orders.
* * * *
End of part 1, part 2 to follow shortly.
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