I'm intrigued, and will read the next chapter with interest.

I particularly liked the description of Akane, from Ranma's POV, and the
short Konatsu POV scene. Ukyo and her father were well-written, too - I
certainly don't have anything against this version of Mr Kuonji. 

Lawson may be right about the beginning being plodding and too
descriptive. However, I don't have any helpful comments, since I tend to
write in much this way myself. :) 

I did feel that the story picked up speed once Mr Kuonji entered
"Ucchan's" and was greeted by Konatsu. But it could well be that we do
need to know about Mr Kuonji's thoughts and of Ukyo's letters at this
stage. I wouldn't be able to say.

Cheers,

Elin 



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