[FFML] Re: [Fic][Ranma/Love Hina] Chasing Dreams Chaps 1-2

Lets examine the scene carefully.

Ranma has returned to the Tendo home amidst the fathers celebrating over
money. Ignoring for the moment that Nabiki would have been more interested
in finding out where the money came from than the money itself
(information

<snippage>
 It wouldn't take Akane

having to be a rocket scientist for her to be able to do the mental math.
Ranma, plus unexpected money, plus him tearing up right there in front of
everyone, plus a letter clutched in his hand clearly equals distressed
ranma. Also, please note, as I said previously, in the manga and the anime
it's clear that Ranma does not hide his emotional states, he's just not a
stoic individual.


Logical error.


I disagree... I believe you are missing the key points here. 

Please note Akane's wording, she tells him to STOP staring... that would indicate that she had noted that he had been staring for some time. 
If she'd said, "Ranma, say something" or anything other than that he should stop staring, then that would leave the issue open to interpretation, in that perhaps she had not been watching his reaction and was just turning back to see what he was doing.
But, instead, her responce indicated that she'd noted his staring for some time, and hence she'd been watching his developing reaction to the letter. 

Ispo facto, she both had the opportunity to watch him, and had done so, therefore should have noted his responce.

Akane starts out glaring at Ranma, true. But while Ranma is reading, Akane
is busy arguing with Nabiki and turning her nose up. And Ranma was not
tearing up, or shouldn't be, anyway - the color might have drained out of
his face, but that's as far as otoko-Ranma goes.


I'd suggest you dig out the manga, my friend, we've seen Ranma cry (both from pain and from emotional distress (I'll be happy to provide examples,(Ex1 When Akane poked him after Kuno and Ranma had fought and he was pretending to be unhurt), sulk, and be exhaltant many a time... a stoic he is not. 

Please note, as I said before, in the Gambler King sequence, it was established beyond a shadow of a doubt that Ranma wears his emotions on his sleeve.

Additionally, Shade wrote the scene where Ranma's eyes started burning, and from all indications it wasn't with anger... it was with hurt. Either tears were stinging his eyes, or we have an aura event here.

So, Ranma's physical appearance, based on what we know about Ranma from the Manga, combined with Akane watching his reaction... would have conveyed his emotional state to Akane, and since she was looking right at him for some time...she'd have clued in. 

'nuf said.

Also, just because the envelope looks like it has changed hands a lot,
doesn't mean that either Nabiki or Akane have managed to get their hands on
it - if Soun and Genma have been passing it back and forth, for example. I
can readily imagine Genma tearing the letter open, turning the envelope
upside down in his hands, and assuming there was nothing else.


Still, this is immaterial, I'm talking about the fact that Ranma (who, as I mentioned, does not hide his emotions) was standing in front of Akane, going through a traumatic emotional experience, and she fails to catch it.. Bull. 
Whether she or Nabiki has or has not seen the letter or envelope is not important.

Given all that, Akane has frequently shown in the manga that, while
judgemental of Ranma, she is very much a person given to and capable of
sympathy for others (unless they are trying to date her by beating her
up).
Therefore I state that she would have noticed his physical reaction to the
distress caused by the letter since she was looking right at him at the
time. (Again, note her comments dirrected right at him, it's clear that
she
has noticed that he was staring off into space for some time, so hence she
MUST have been looking at him) Plus, by this point in the manga (after the
S.S.H and before Ranma's mother shows up) she has had to endure her
father's
and Genma's antics regarding her and Ranma already, so in my opinion,
saying
that the threat of impending marriage preoccupied her is not a valid
arguement.


Any show of concern right then and there would mean instant marriage - the
priest is on the way.


Sorry, pull the other one, that one has bells on it. 
There have been plenty of times in both the Manga and Anime where the characters have expressed concern for each other without everyone leaping to the marriage alter.

Now, as to the presupposition of Ranma being used to fill Keitaro's role,
well... lets examine the facts here as well. The other residents of the
Hinatasou are all there... except Kei.... Somehow I don't think Ranma is
there to fill Motoko's, or Shinobu's place in the Hina universe. It stands
to reason therefore that with Kei not in evidence, that Ranma is playing
"stand in" for the what would otherwise be occupied by Keitaro. Whether
this
role is handled how Keitaro would handle it or not is not really relevant,
the fact that Kei is not there and Ranma is says that it's a 'Ranma is
taking Keitaro's place in the LH fic'. Now, as a LH fan I find this
tremendously disrespectful of the character and story  of Love Hina to
simply edit him out. His role in the manga or anime was key. He provided
the
element of growth and maturity that IMO Ranma simply cannot fill because
Ranma is not about growth, but about trying to remain childlike in nature.
(IMO this was precisely why Rumiko Takahashi ended Ranma like she did, to
do
otherwise, and continue the story, would have required that Ranma start
thinking about the future, start making choices, and growing up. As it was
she ended it on a note where the characters live forever in a sort of
eternal spring, even though that spring is obviously giving way to summer
following the events of Pheonix mountain.


How is this different form a bazillion other fics where someone else gets
replaced wholesale by Ranma? Just because it's not always a good idea,
doesn't mean there aren't any good fics of that type.

And most of them are pretty cruddy to be honest.
Most... not all... but most.
Occasionally someone comes along with a twist on the theme that keeps it interesting,

But, in general I found a number of things wrong with the fic and said so.
First, I feel that his handling of Akane was geared purely to show her as being abusive toward Ranma so that it became he final straw, and not because it served any purpose other than to drive him away, it was not, what I feel, to be a reflection of how the character would have acted based on the manga, and hence said as much.
Second, I simply cannot see Ranma giving up and running away like that, when one considers what the character is supposed to be about it just runs counter to what sort of behavior we've come to expect from him, and counter to the core of the character.
The closest I've seen to someone coming up with a good, "Ranma blows his gasket after one too many fiancee brawls" was "Ranma's Apartment" on Furinken net, and that only happened when Ranma was starting to grow up and was trying to stop all the fighting.
Third, the attempts at humor simply fell flat IMO. The whole women's bath scene felt like the author expected us to be slapping our knee, going "Oh that's so funny" When the execution of the scene and the events surrounding it didn't even begin to set a mood for such incongruity.
And this isn't even bringing into play what I feel is a serious hemoraging of what I feel is the lifeblood of the Love hina storyline, that being the whole Toudai quest thing, and the self improvement that the characters try to accomplish while shooting for such goal.