David Johnston wrote:
This is of course one of the standard Ranma fanfic templates, the
"Ranma finds his life so unendurable that he escapes into another
series" fic. But still, it bugs me every time Akane's personality
is erased to make it happen. Would Akane verbally abuse Ranma
when he's standing there with a letter informing him that his
grandmother is dead? I don't think so. Akane may be bad-tempered,
and unreasonably suspicious, but in scenes like this she is being
written as devoid of the capacity for human sympathy and concern,
a capacity that she has repeatedly demonstrated when Ranma was
on the skids.
Is that really necessary for the story? I'd think Nabiki volunteering
to marry Ranma for the money and his father leaping at her offer
would be enough to get him moving. If it isn't, then perhaps
the scene could be rewritten so that Akane at least doesn't know the
contents of the letter as they grab her and start to force into a
wedding kimono.
It seemed to me to be pretty obvious that she didn't know about the
letter even after the fact.
Where was that line....
At first glance it looked empty, but then he noticed
a small letter that had somehow been overlooked by
the others and was still lying hidden inside.
Or are you refering to the original draft? Because I seem to recall
something like that from an earlier draft, which I commented on. But it
looks like it's fixed here.