But focusing on the larger view: the beginning part of
this was good. Really good. I felt immersed in depression,
in a state where every look no matter how innocent is
interpreted badly, where Ranma wanted to be left alone.
Having the phone calls be essentially anonymous was a
very good touch

Thanks.  =)

THe second half, all in all, I thought was less than the first.
Less riveting, less self-sufficient (it intertwined too much
with TOP to stand alone as a story, I thought), just... less.

No arguments there - I tend to agree.  I had a very clear vision of the
beginning but only a hazy one of the end, and it shows.  Plus I agree, there
start to be big gaps where I don't want to overlap with TOP, and the story
suffers as a result.

"Tell me what any of that had to do with being female."

Given the restraint that Ranma has been showing throughout
the rest of the fic, that seemed very out of character. Furthermore,
it doesn't seem like a realistic flow of dialogue. She says
something, goes off for 10 seconds on a routine, then comes
back and continues talking.

Hmm.  Well, Ranma does that all the time in the manga - talks before,
during, and right after performing complex athletic maneuvers.  The part I
wrote was to show how effortless this was to Ranma - that she could perform
a stunning bit of acrobatics at the drop of a hat just to make a
conversational point.

One thing I tend to do in all of my Ranma fanfiction is downplay the
physical and psychological extremes of the Ranmaverse.  So that means that
when I *do* throw in a bit of Ranmaverse physics, it tends to stick out like
a sore thumb.  =)

The very ending was a nice touch for giving a look at future
events, but I can't help but wonder if it'd be better off as a
prequel and a sequel, rather than a 'Ranma's perspective near
beginning and middle of TOP, and post-TOP scene'.

Well, there's something to be said for the point of view that this shouldn't
be written at all - that Ranma's point of view during all of TOP is better
inferred than made explicit.  Given that I've written this story, it's also
difficult to fit it into the TOP timeline - thus the reason for the framing
story, where I could say that this is a flashback Ranma is having when
meeting an old college friend.

Just my two cents.

And a very valuable two cents they were.  =)  Thanks for the comments.

-Richard

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