Finally attacking some of the backlog:

4, 1927

Dear Sumire-chan,

     It is such a good thing to hear from you. I can never say
how much all these stories you send in your letters please me.
They give me such happy moments when I read them. You
have such a fertile imagination! That last story you sent actually
made me cry! What made you want to retire your namesake,
for heaven's sake? I want more, Sumire-chan! These stories
are a joy for me to read and I would not want them to end.

Ahh. But to all good things...

  >     They are quite an achievement, Sumire-chan. I would
suggest you have them published but

published, but

Kanzaki Kikyou

Not familiar with the name, if I should be.

           *************************************

June 8, 1927                                               Yokohama, Japan

    Smiling, Kanzaki Sumire adjusted her large horn-rimmed
glasses as she read her cousin's letter. Kikyou-chan was
coming to visit!
    Then she frowned.
    Kikyou-chan liked her stories. How was she going to tell
her that she wouldn't be writing anymore of them.

'writing them anymore' sounds better to me.

    She couldn't figure out the how or why, but the Dream had
ended and she would never see it again.
    Five years of closing her eyes every night and waking up to
the wonderful life that she had always dreamed of.

I like that phrasing.

    She was Kanzaki Sumire, daughter of a minor government
official in Yokohama, one of a brood of five. She could not act,
she could not fight, she could not sing. Friendless except for a
few female cousins here and there. Addicted to the story
magazines and the kamishibai and the theater.
    Just a dreamer, for awhile, a Dreamer.

might want to capitalize the first 'Dreamer'

    Sumire and her parents waited patiently for the other party
to arrive. The marriage meeting had been arranged by a friend
of her father and

father, and

she didn't know anything of her prospective

iinazuke, a fact that irritated her to no end.

But it's such a common theme in manga and anime. :)

    As if she hadn't known better. This was another one of her
father's ploys for social advancement. Connections were
important in this day and age, add the fact that her father was
a very ambitious man, she had suspicions about her fiancee-to-be.

It'll be Touga Kiryuu. :)

    The door silently and slowly slid open. The other family
entered on their knees, a sign of good traditional training.
    The parents did not merit her attention.

That seems a bit cold.

 It was the young man

she had come to meet that she looked at. A thin, wolfish face,
topped a rather weaselish frame dressed in the uniform of the
Kempeitai.
    They engaged me to one of the secret police!

Can't be that secret if you recognized him on sight. :)

 The thought

echoed inside her mind as she looked at the young man before
her. Promising career, indeed!
    Chips of black charcoal regarded her with a steely gaze as her
prospective fiancee gave her a once-over. Even her distaste for the
man was overcome by her shyness. If I'm lucky I'm too ugly
enough

drop 'enough'

    "Sumire, my only daughter. She may not look like much but she
is accomplished in her own right. She is skilled in the domestic arts.
She has shown herself adept in calligraphy and ikebana. She is
obedient and knows what is required of her.

She'll put out, if you know what I mean.

 >     "It seems that my son wishes to be alone with your daughter for

awhile."

Hmm. Should be interesting.

    It was him who broke the silence.
    "Where's the off-shoulder purple kimono?"
    Sumire glared at him for a moment before, eyes starting to
become wet, she crossed the space between them and engulfed
him in a hug.

Heh. Looks like she'll be having a happy marriage after all.

    Sumire smiled shyly as she realized her close proximity with
him. Loosening her embrace, she took her glasses from his
hands and set them over her face once again.
    "You are different, too. Look at the pair of us, people who
dream themselves a better life."
    They disengaged and they sat, looking each other over.
    "I would think you would be pleased with your life as it is,
Second lieutenant

pretty sure that she be capitalized.

Ogami."

Ogami,"

    She smiled.
    Diamonds were hard, too. In her own way, she had
managed to find a bit of the Dream in the real world.
    A slight thought nagged her at the back of her mind
as she hugged this man who was to be her husband.
    If he was here, then that would mean the others
should be here also, wouldn't it?

Probably. All that matters is who they are now.

           *************************************

February 19, 1938                                 Manchuria,China

    Ogami Ichiro looked up from the report on his table.
    "Are you sure about this?"
    "Yes, Captain." Standing at attention, his subordinate
looked like a stick.

Must be pretty darn thin.

Ogami looked down again at the

report on his desk.
    "She has been confined?"
    "Yes, sir."
    "Has she been interrogated?"
    "Yes, sir."
    Ogami looked down at the report again. "Properly?"
    "Er..."

Wrong answer

    The lieutenant walked out of the room so quickly that it
was almost a run.
    Ogami looked down at the report again. Looked at the
name written there. He leaned back into his chair and looked
up into the wooden ceiling. It was a bit blurry.
    He covered his eyes with his hands and wiped the
sweat from his face.

Hmm. Sounds ominous.

    Ogami Ichiro took a deep breath as he stood before
the door of the interrogation room. The guards by the door
studiously ignored him.

I know that look. I try to manage it all the time.

    "I... Li-san, you are to be released. You are
obviously not the one we were looking for."
    She could not believe her ears. The man continued.
For some strange reason, Kohran thought she knew him.
 "However, because of your harsh treatment, you will
be unable to be released just yet. You will be treated for
your injuries and, as means of reparation, you will be given
employment."
    "My wife will be visiting me in a while. She will
need a maidservant. I know this is not enough to repay your
suffering, but it is just a first step. Me and my wife

'My wife and I' perhaps?

    It was a scream that echoed all through the large
manor of the Vicomte d'Alembert, as it was supposed to.
    One minute before the other guests arrived and found
the open safe and, of course, Lupin's

If it's in France, Lupin must not be far behind. :)

 little calling card.

She had managed to palm one of them after her little run-in
with the arrogant popinjay. Another jewelry theft blamed on
the Son of the Wolf would be both be investigated thoroughly
while the Surete would be blind to the fact that someone
else could have possibly done it. After all, Lupin placed
his card there didn't he? Who else could have stolen it?

Eh, but Lupin would be offended at the idea that others would take credit
for his actions.

    A letter from Japan. From a woman named Sumire
Kanzaki.
    When she was little she

little, she

 >            *************************************

November 5, 1942     Stalingrad, Russia

    It was snowing in the City of Steel.
    In the ruins of buildings, in the realms of
shattered steel and broken concrete, a huntress waited for
her prey.
    Maria Tachibana looked through her binoculars and
spied her targets.

An Enemy at the Gates indeed. :)

    Feel. Make a guess, Maria-chan. Left or right?
    Are you feeling lucky?
    She let go of the breath she was holding and drew in
a quick one as she shifted the rifle a couple of centimeters
to the right and pumped a bullet through flimsy wood.
    The soldier fell down dead.
    She sighed as she closed her eyes and relaxed.
    Her sensitivity heightened by adrenaline, she could
hear the snow fall and her heart beating in that familiar
one-two rhythm. She eased her rifle from its perch and lay
there in the quickly-gathering snow.

Hmm. I thought most snipers immidiately moved after making a kill on the
offhand chance someone out of sight is still around and now knows your
position.

    Father. He had come to Russia from Japan as a member
of the Communist Party, seeking a new life after the
oppression and censorship of the Meiji.

Heh. Sort of like going from swimming in acid to being dumped in gasoline
and set afire. :)

    For awhile, after the Revolution, she had dreamed
comforting little dreams. Maybe it was the headiness of the
success of the Communist dream. Lenin and the Party were in
power and everything was going to change.

Well, it did, sort of.

    Si nging,

stray space.

 dancing, a small little family of sisters.

    Then Djugashvili- no, he called himself Stalin,
nowhad

and need a space here

    For all his popularity, it was a close thing for him
and his associates. He was still under suspicion and that
had meant his assignment here, to the City of Steel.

And if he doesn't die for his country there, he will afterwards. And then
the men killing him would be killed, since they then knew too much as well.
And then those ones...

Hey, if you get them all, then your paranoia paid off. :)

 A

rather easy way for that madman Stalin to get rid of him
without raising the ire of the Russian people. She had
followed him

can drop this 'him'

in the hopes of repaying her debt to him, but

she had ended up being assigned to another sector.
    She was getting tired of all of it. And for some
strange insane yet sane reason

need commas there, but not sure exactly where.

 she wanted to sing.

    You are getting old, Maria-chan.
    She shook her head and prepared to move.
    That was when she made her first mistake.
    When she had rolled over, her binoculars had come
out of their sheath and the glass glinted in the weak light.
    That was when she made her second mistake.
    She forgot to check her surroundings immediately.
    Maybe her melancholic thoughts distracted her. But, she
delayed surveying her surroundings for a few seconds.
    That was when she made her third mistake.
    She stood up.

Oops.

    In the City of Steel, an angel had found her peace.

Sad, but moving. Nice job.

do with the woman's escape. She was quite glad that Megumi
had escaped, of course, and she was planning to do exactly
what the Captain had accused her of, but it seemed that
someone beat her to the punch. She had the impression that
Captain Hino would have beaten her to find the truth out of
her had she not been a nun and a German citizen. He was that
kind of man.

Not the worst kind then, since there are those to whom that means nothing.
:)

    Hopefully, Megumi Mizuno would be safely hidden away
by her rescuers, whoever they may be.
    Leni sighed. It was things like these that made her leave
Germany and her old career. Not that she was going anywhere
acting. Her childhood dreams made it seem so easy to be a
success, but the real world was a lot more demanding.

Sad, but true.

    Plus, the Gestapo did not like her for being outspoken
against the Reich.

Usually a mark against you, it's true.

    She heard shouts of warning from some of the
layworkers at the orphanage and she looked up.
    Then, there was a flash of light as bright as the
sun.

Ouch. Another one down. I applaud your willingness to do away with some of
the cast to show the seriousness of the work.

Nice work. Thanks for sharing.

DB Sommer



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